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N.A.C.W.

Sunday Night Slam Masters!

Live from General Motors Place in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada!

Taped March 28, aired March 30, 1999!

<"Blue Monday" by Orgy begins to play. We fade into a packed General Motors Place in Vancouver, British Columbia. Now, we fade down to the ringside area, where Steve White, Tony Davis, and Dan Mazin sit. White begins his intro>

Steve White: This is going to be one of our best shows, ever! We've got four hardcore matches, a rookie rumble, a big debut, the return of Shawn Coats, it's just going to be incredible!

Dan Mazin: As you know, by a 25-12 margin on our website, www.NACW.ohhellyeah.com, most of the people think Shawn Coats is making a mistake. I really don't know what they were thinking, because those 25 people must've not seen our boss wrestle! He's incredible!

Tony Davis: Kissing up to the boss?

Mazin: No...

Davis: Yes...

White: Let's get down to our first match!

N.A.C.W.

First Round

Hardcore Tournament

Dave Bean v. Insane Wayne

Written by...Brandon Williams

Hardcore Tournament

First Round

N.A.C.W.

Steve White: We're ready for our first match in this Hardcore Championship Tournament. We've got Insane Wayne, the recent United States champion against Dave Bean. Or should I say "Too Extreme" Bean? Your thoughts Dan and Tony.

Dan Mazin: Well I've been looking forward to this match ever since I heard about it. We don't even know what kind of hardcore match it will be! Its a Spin The Wheel, Make the Deal Match and pending on what it turns out to be, will be who wins.

Tony Davis: You're going to see tables, chairs, fire extinguishers and your momma's dress in this thing, sometime or another. We're going to see four of these matches tonight and given the opportunity, any one of them could be five stars.

Steve White: Let's go to Drew Fortesque, the ring announcer.

[The crowd comes to their feet, as "Going out with a Blast" by Fiend is heard as it begins to blare over the speakers in the arena. Then, from behind the curtain, comes Dave "too Extreme" Bean, wearing the usual street clothes, with black wrestling boots, black carpenter pants, and his own Hardcore T-shirt. Behind him, is the nearly naked wife, Malinda, who makes the guys hot and the girls jot, at her beauty and essence.]

Drew Fortesque: This contest is a "spin the wheel, make the deal" match scheduled for one fall and is a first round match in the Hardcore Tournament. Coming down to the ring first, with his manager Malinda, from Cleveland, Ohio... Weighing in at 245 lbs., Dave "Too Extreme" Bean!

Steve White: Here he comes... Dave Bean, with his lovely wife Malinda.

Tony Davis: You're right about that!

Dan Mazin: Ever talked to her, Tony, or did you piss your pants first?

Tony Davis: That's not apart of the match!

["12" by the Insane Clown Posse Plays...]

Drew Fortesque: His opponent, with his manager Little Doll, Weighing 285 lbs., Insane Wayne!

Steve White: Well, we've got the big wheel here.

Dan Mazin: Wheel of Fortune.

Steve White: Pretty much. We got an NACW referee, who is asking each man which side of the coin, he flips and it looks like Dave Bean wins the coin toss.

Tony Davis: He did, so he gets to spin the wheel.

Steve White: And it lands on Dog Collar match, we got all the stuff right here. The referee sets it up, they're both chained together, and Bean is trying to run, but gets pulled into a lariat.

Tony Davis: And what a lariat!

Steve White: We're into the ring now... Bell Rings. Wayne puts him on the top rope, and execute... executes a Top Rope Death Valley Driver!!! That was cool!

Dan Mazin: Cool, more like dangerous or something.

Steve White: Well I guess it was... Hardcore...

Tony Davis: That could have hurt him big, probably did.

Dan Mazin: Yeah probably.

Steve White: Picks him up and asks for a chair, which is thrown into the ring. Wayne DDT's him onto it. And we see blood, from the head.

Tony Davis: What else to expect?

Dan Mazin: Well this match would have sucked if it was a first blood match.

Tony Davis: Well short and sweet....

Dan Mazin: Nah, would have sucked.

Steve White: Anyway, he picks him, and cracks him over the head with the chair again!!! More blood, gushing... Ugh.

Dan Mazin: NACW! NACW! NACW!

Steve White: Dan, what are you doing?

Dan Mazin: Going along with the fans!

Steve White: Wayne steps back from his fallen opponent, he's... HE'S CHOKING HIM OUT!!!

Tony Davis: Why does he have to do this?

Dan Mazin: To get Bean out of it. This is great.

Steve White: Well, he's stopped now. Dave Bean is out. He goes for the pin, and obviously... 1... 2... 3... Insane Wayne advances.

<"12" by Insane Clown Posse plays as Insane Wayne leaves...>

Tony Davis: Look, she's leaving!

Dan Mazin: Yeah, wait for me at my car, honey.

Steve White: Well yeah right. Malinda's obviously disgusted. She's had enough. She's going up the ramp, the entrance way, and there is... there's... Chameleon! What's he doing there?

Tony Davis: Ohhhh!

Steve White: They kissed! What's Bean gonna think about his wife kissing Chameleon?!

Dan Mazin: Not good thoughts, uh oh.

Steve White: They're going back to the locker rooms, or maybe to the parking lot... Bean, Bean sees them leave. He runs after them!

Tony Davis: Well, Chameleon's going to high tail it to the parking lot, and quickly Bean follows!

Dan Mazin: This is gonna be a big brawl or something.

Steve White: Well they're in the parking lot, and Chameleon is getting Bean, throws him into the car... He picks him up and yells at him a bit...

Tony Davis: He's saying "No one tells Chameleon what to do!"

Steve White: Yeah, that's it. He picks him up, he's opening the car door... AND HE SLAMS THE CAR DOOR ON DAVE BEAN'S HAND! That's just sick. Him and Malinda are leaving the building now.

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Insane Wayne via pinfall.

Time of Fall: 6:35.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

White: What a big win for Wayne, but what an acquisition for Chameleon! Chameleon just stole Dave Bean's wife!

Mazin: Steve, she can't be stolen if she didn't want to go, but still, that's amazing what he pulled of!

Davis: It should be interesting to see who Wayne is going to face, the Flying Scotsman, or this mystery guy.

White: We'll find out, because we've got to take a commercial break! Stay tuned!

N.A.C.W.

First Round

Hardcore Tournament

??? (replacing Jeremy Rhodes) v. The Flying Scotsman

Written by...Alan Soriano

Hardcore Tournament

First Round

N.A.C.W.

S.W: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to NACW Slam Masters! Brought to you tonight by Royal Crown Cola..Fans, plenty has already occurred tonight, and some of the best stuff is yet to come!

T.D: That's right Steve, for up next..

(A closeup of the NACW Hardcore Tourney wheel is shown..)

T.D: The Hardcore tourney continues!

("Oh Flower of Scotland" plays over the loudspeakers and the fans all rise and a loud ass pop is heard..The Flying Scotsman comes out dressed in a kilt and soccer jersey...He reaches the wheel where Ross Howard holds a microphone.)

T.D: Lets go down to Ross Howard with The Flying Scotsman...

(Scene changes to Howard standing next to Scotsman at the wheel, which sits at the entrance...)

R.H: Okay Scotsman, since the Mystery Man isn't here yet, I guess you have to spin the..

(Scotsman spins the wheel...)

R.H: Round and round it goes..and where it lannnndddsss....WOAH! Its a first blood match!

(Scotsman nods and smiles as the place goes haywire...He starts down to the ring...Running down..He slides underneath the ropes as the mics go back to the announcers...)

S.W: Well, the Flying Scotsman needing no introduction here..But who's the mystery..

(Suddenly, the lights go out...)

S.W: What's happening?

D.M: I'm scared...Hold me Tony!

T.D: Shut up, Prick!

(The lights go on...And out of nowhere..)

S.W: OH MY GOD! ITS DEEGAN! JASON DEEGAN! HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND HAS STARTED TO PUMMEL ON THE SCOTSMAN!

T.D: ICEFIRE LIVES ON!

D.M: Whoopty shit...

S.W: And already the match has gone outside as Deegan throws the Scotsman over the top! Fans, this is a First Blood Match! First man to bleed loses the match! Now Deegan, on the apron..Axehandle attempt..And Scotsman nails a shot to the bread basket of Deegan, flipping him over! And Deegan looks hurt!

T.D: He might have caught him with one of those bracelets with the AK-47 bullets attached..

D.M: And Deegan now..Picked up by Scotsman..And whipped into the safety railing...This Scotsman really is a mean S.O.B..

S.W: And now hes climbing onto the apron...Deegan stumbling to his feet..Scotsman..Leaps...FLYING FOREARM..WOAH!

T.D: Great presence by Deegan to get out of the way, and THROW SCOTSMAN OVER THE RAILING!

S.W: Referee Mikey Johnson on the outside checking for blood...But Scotsman is clean...Deegan now in the crowd chasing after Scotsman...Laying a couple of forearms in...Security trying to hold these rabid fans back!

D.M: DID YOU SEE THAT?

S.W: What?

D.M: The brunette on the outside is not wearing a bra..

T.D: Dude, that's a guy.

D.M: Aw, come on!

S.W: Now Deegan..Rolls Scotsman over the railing and back onto the outside of the ring...Deegan slowly stepping over the top..And SCOTSMAN CATCHES HIM WITH A LOW BLOW!

D.M: Ah..The ultimate equalizer..

S.W: Deegan is crouched over..And Scotsman..Going under the ring..Whats he getting?

T.D: I don't know..But Deegan really doubled over from that low blow..

D.M: Come on Deegan...Its just a shot to the balls...

T.D: You try taking..

S.W: Scotsman has unfolded a folding chair now...He's stepping back...He's gonna use that as a springboard..Here he comes...

T.D: LOOK AT THE ELEVATION...BUT DEEGAN CATCHES..POWERSLAM!

D.M: Dumb Scotsman.....Flew right into that one..

S.W: Deegan possibly playing possum there...Now Deegan on one knee...Just hammering The Scotsman on the outside of the ring here! I have never seen an NACW match use so little of the wrestling ring!

T.D: Now Mikey Johnson checking Scotsman for blood..None there..Deegan..Has Scotsman by the mohawk...Running him towards the ring post....Wait! Reversal! And Deegan hits that post HARD! Now Scotsman up..And what's he doing now?

S.W: He's..going to the Spanish announce table..for some reason...Wait..HE'S DESTROYING THE EQUIPMENT! HES THROWN IT ALL ON THE FLOOR..

D.M: Oy! No Me Gusta!!! AH HA HA HA!!!

T.D: The announcers look pissed...Julio Borojas and Guapo Miguel are the Spanish announcers..Miguel taking offense...Just shoved Scotsman...Wait..Scotsman..Hes got Miguel...Lifts him up..AND A BELLY TO BELLY ON GUAPOS OWN CHAIR! THE CHAIR HAS JUST BROKEN! IT WAS A WOODEN FOLDING CHAIR.. Borojas runs for the border...Cheapskates I tell ya..Note to Shawn, get the Spainish announce team some metal chairs..

S.W: That may be a fine...

T.D: Knowing what Coats thinks of Guapo Miguel, I highly doubt it...In a way though, Im glad we have metal chairs..

D.M: What are you smoking? Guapos lucky he had a wooden..

S.W: Guys....The point is..Flying Scotsman has what he wanted: That table..Hes setting it up at ringside...Meanwhile, Johnson checking Deegan for blood..Hes fine..The match continues...Deegan turned around though..Look out! Scotsman from behind...Belly to back suplex! Oh man! Deegans head landed inches away from that table..His back crumpled with that impact!

T.D: With the back injury Deegan sustained many months ago at the hands of Justin Russell, that could have been a fatal blow to Deegans chances for winning this match...

S.W: You might be right, Tony...Deegan hasent moved...Scotsman now..The crowd roaring as the Scotsman is signaling for...Hes..Hes pointing to the top turnbuckle..And to the table...Oh my God..

(Huge crowd roar is heard)

T.D: This could really hurt Deegan...And Scotsman...But he doesent care..Hes setting up a nearly unconscious Deegan onto that table...

D.M: This should be huge! He could break Deegans back again!

S.W: Right you are, Dan...Scotsman is up on the apron...HES ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE..

T.D: MOVE JASON!

D.M: Stay Jason..Hee hee...

S.W: Deegan is recovering..But it may be too late...Scotsman...SHOOTING STAR PRESS...

*When horrific things happen, things move in slow mo, dont they?*

T.D: WOAH! DEEGAN MOVED! DEEGAN MOVED!

D.M: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! SCOTSMAN IT THAT TABLE!! HE BROKE THE TABLE!

S.W: And also hit his knee on the edge of the ring apron! How Horrific!

T.D: Both men are down..But Deegan now up quickly..He might have been playing possum again!

S.W: And Scotsman getting to his feet quite quickly as well under the circumstances..But Deegan..Knife edge chop..Another..Another...Scotsman dazed...Deegan now..Lifts up Scotsman...Gorilla Pressing this large man! The fans going nuts...And Deegan heaves Scotsman..OH! He hits the reminants of that table! And Deegan now stomping away with his Docs...AT the head of the Scotsman...Mikey Johnson right on top and hasent stopped the match! THERE HAS BEEN NO BLOODSHED!

T.D: Amazingly, Scotsman has recovered...Deegan looking for some weapons, turning his back on the Scotsman again...The Scotsman though...

D.M: Uh oh...Oh yeah! Hes got a piece of that table! Scotsman limping over towards Deegan...Deegan turns around..And catches Scotsman with a boot...Scotsman drops the piece of wood...Deegan now..Setting him up...Standing scissor lock...Could be a piledriver...Lifts him up..Power Bomb att...Scotsman fighting it..Pummeling Deegan..DEEGAN FALLS BACK! YEAH BABY!

S.W: Scotsman using all the punches he can! Deegan trying to block! Trying to keep those bullets from cutting his flesh! And Deegan..ROLLS SCOTSMAN AROUND..Now Deegan punching him! Mikey Johnson in there..Deegan gets up..STILL NO BLOOD! Deegan now...Picks Scotsman up now...WHip..Reversal...OOOH! Deegan just hit those metal stairs! And hard! Mikey Johnson checking again for blood..While the Scotsmanis limping to the other side of the ring...Hes got that chair!

T.D: The chair he tried to use as a springboard he has now...Its folded..Hes looking to finish Deegan off here..

D.M: This could be the shot...

S.W: Deegan..Shaking the cobwebs out..Here comes Scotsman..Deegan sees him...Runs..FLYING FOREARM! WOAH! SENDS THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO THE HEAD OF SCOTSMAN! Scotsman down..Mikey Johnson over... Checking the forehad of Scotsman....HES CALLING FOR THE BELL! SCOTSMAN IS CUT! DEEGAN WINS THE MATCH!

T.D: Now that we have a closer look, there you can see, The Flying Scotsman has a cut to the head...A deep gash..

S.W: What a fight, ladies and gentlemen..Lets go to the ring for official word..

Ann: HERE IS YOUR WINNER...JASON "ICEFIRRRRRRE" DEEEEEEEGANNNNN!!!

(Deegan walks down the isle to the dressing room, groggy, but arms raised in triumph...Scotsman grabs a piece of the broken table and breaks it on his good knee before limping out..)

S.W: Fans, Jason Deegan, the mystery man, advances to the next round of the NACW Hardcore Tourney...theres still more to come here on Sunday Night Slam MASTERS!!!!

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Jason Deegan.

Time of Fall: 10:27.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

Davis: That's a big win for Jason Deegan, but the Flying Scotsman came so close to beating a man who was World Champion of the NACW in the past. Scotsman has no reason to be ashamed.

Mazin: I'll second that one. Deegan's tough, Scotsman's tougher, but even the sun shine's on a monkey's butt once in a while.

White: We've got to head to commercial, but the boss is in action next!

N.A.C.W.

First Round

Hardcore Tournament

"Superstar" Shawn Coats v. Big O

Written by...Pato, the Spanish Duck

Hardcore Tournament

First Round

N.A.C.W.

[The theme to "Wild America" begins to play over the sound system.]

[Through the curtain steps Big O, blank loaded shotgun in hand, decked out in his hunting gear complete with ducks unlimited cap. To his side, as always, is Runs With Pack, his 220 pound eskimo woman manager. He's a regular kind of hunting guy, weathered skin, scar across his jaw.]

[As he steps into the ring, he admires on the outside the wheel used to decide what type of match each will be. He heads to his corner, as "Trust" by Megadeth begins to play over the speakers, causing the fans to absolutely ERUPT.]

[Shawn Coats steps through the curtains, and stands at the aisleway, smiling slightly. The bald, black North Dakota native comes out in a black and gold robe, with "Superstar" written in the back in gold lettering. As he approaches the ring, he removes the robe, hands it to the ring girl, and stands in his corner.]

Drew Fortesque: "Ladies and gentlemen, in the ring at my left at this time, standing 6'4" and weighing 217 pounds, with his manager Runs-With-Pack, BIIIIIIG O!"

Drew: "And his opponent, coming to you tonight from Fargo, North Dakota, he stands at 6'5" and weighs in at 247 pounds... THIS IS THE BOSS, 'SUPERSTAR' SHAWN COATS!"

Drew: "Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, referee Mikey Johnson will flip a coin to see who will spin the wheel to find out who is battling first."

[Mikey flips the coin, Big O calls heads in the air, and it lands on heads.]

Drew: "At this time, Big O will spin the wheel, as he won the toss!"

[Big O steps outside and spins it, as it slowly spins around, landing on "SUBMISSION MATCH." Immediately, Coats tosses his hands into the air.]

Drew: "Tonight's match up, fans, will be a SUBMISSION MATCH UP!"

[Johnson rings the bell as Coats and Big O stand in the he center of the ring.]

White: "Fans, this is all Coats, as he's a master of submission."

Mazin: "Yeah, well, he doesn't have a shotgun."

Davis: "Whoopie!"

White: "A lock in the center of the ring, and Coats turns it into an arm bar!"

Mazin: "Big O reverses it into a hammerlock, and clocks Coats in the back on the head with a forearm! HE'S HARDCORE!"

White: "Cut it out. O now shoves Coats to the ropes, tosses him across, attempts a clothesline, Coats ducks into a drop toe hold, which hangs O out across the middle rope!"

Davis: "Coats quickly runs to the fallen O, and wraps his legs around his head and chin in a figure four!"

Mazin: "O's on the ropes, though."

White: "Technically, though, Coats doesn't have to release the hold, because there's no DQ. Johnson can bitch and moan all he wants, Coats isn't relinquishing."

Davis: "O is trying to squirm out of it..."

Mazin: "O pulls out successfully, and gets on his knee, LOW BLOW! The boss is feeling it on the balls!"

White: "O gets up to his feet, and begins swinging lefts at Coats' jaw! He's back him up into the corner, and he's continuing to swing his fists at Coats!"

Davis: "Coats covers up, and takes the punches! I think O's getting PO'ed."

White: "O stops, slides outside, and walks down the aisle... he's calling Coats to go out there with him!"

Mazin: "But Coats will have none of it! He's got a mic..."

Coats: "O, I'm a wrestler, and wrestlers wrestle in the ring. Get back here now or walk out and lose."

White: "Coats is forcing O to do it his way- the old fashioned wrestling way!"

Davis: "Which seems like it's been successful thus far."

Mazin: "Whatever. This isn't very hardcore."

White: "O comes back into the ring, where's he met by Coats with massive boots to the back of the head! Coats bars the arm, pulls O up, who reverses it with an arm bar of his own, and tosses Coats to the mat!"

Davis: "Coats springs back up, but O kicks him right in the gut! O grabs the neck, swings him around, HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER!"

Mazin: "He drops the knee on Coats, and grabs the arm of Coats, CROSS ARM BREAKER!"

White: "The first attempt at a submission, but Coats is not thinking about giving it up! He's flailing his arm around wildly, not wanting to tap out!"

Davis: "O pulls back, leans up, and he can't seem to pull back Coats' arm anymore... it's as if Coats found out how to fight the cross arm breaker!"

Mazin: "O releases, lifts Coats into a fireman's carry, DROPS BACK! Samoan drop!"

White: "Now O grabs the right leg of Coats, spins around, spinning toe hold!"

Davis: "Quickly, O stands Coats up again, BACKBREAKER! But he's holding Coats across the knee, trying to snap him in half! Another submission attempt!"

Mazin: "Coats is not giving it up, and O relinquishes. Coats laying flat on the mat, O sneaks up by his head... lifts, DRAGON SLEEPER! He's got it clenched..."

White: "But Coats is kicking upward! He's not reaching, but... FREE HAND WACKS O in the back of the head! That allows Coats to slide out!"

Davis: "Coats quickly with the double leg takedown, holds the legs, he's pushing for a Boston crab!"

Mazin: "O is trying to fight it, unsuccessfully thus far, but Coats wants this crab!"

White: "He can't... O straightens the legs, which sends Coats to the mat!"

Davis: "O up, Coats pulls himself up on the ropes, O charges... Coats backdrops him over the top!"

Mazin: "Coats sees him laid out, checks the ropes, SLINGSHOT LEG DROP on the outside!"

White: "Coats quickly pulls O up, sends him into the railing... NO! Reversed! Coats comes reeling back, O DDT's him! O quickly heads under the ring, and he's searching for something."

Davis: "He pulls out... a wrench, and a table. Firstly, he lifts the table, shoves it into the ring, and leaves it, and grabs Coats... Wrench in the right hand, he swings, Coats ducks! Sweep kick!"

Mazin: "The wrench slides away, as Coats lifts up O, and drops him head first across the apron!"

White: "Quickly, Coats lifts him, and sends him back into the ring, and follows... Coats puts on a reverse chin lock, pulls back the arm into a hammerlock, ditches the chin lock, pulls O down with the hammer lock, quickly slides toward the legs, and bars the knee!"

Mazin: "Yeah. That stuff."

Davis: "Excellent submission wrestling by Coats, here."

White: "Coats now, heads to that table, sets it up by the far side ropes, but O is behind him, slightly hazy on one knee... springs, CLIPS COATS!"

Mazin: "The table is up, Coats is down, O is down, and I wanted to see a wrench shot, dammit!"

Davis: "O stands first, Coats favoring the knee, O kicks it repeatedly! O slides outside, grabs a chair, slides back in, and beats the knee with the chair!"

White: "He's trying to break Coats' knee!"

Mazin: "Yeah, Coats IS HARDCORE!"

Davis: "OH, shut up."

Mazin: "Oh, yeah."

White: "O now, lifts Coats, checks the table, sets up Coats on top of it, climbs to the top...."

Davis: "Coats slides off, and crotches O on the top rope!"

Mazin: "Coats goes up there with him, gives him a shot in the head for good measure, sets up... what the hell is he doing up there?"

Davis: "Um... I think he wants to, um..."

Mazin: "No, no, what the hell is he doing?"

White: "He lifts O... HOLY CRAP! POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!"

Davis: "Did he kill O?"

Mazin: "What the hell did he just do?"

White: "He killed O."

Davis: "Coats now standing over, he's applying the SUPERSTAR DEATH LOCK!"

White: "Considering O is half conscience anyhow, it's only a matter of time now..."

Mazin: "The ref is moving the hand, up once, and down! Up, and down! Up, and down!"

White: "The boss is going to take this one, after massively powerbombing Big O through the table. Big O was looking quite nice tonight, too, but it seems luck just wasn't on his side."

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Shawn Coats via referee's decision.

Time of Fall: 11:42.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

White: Coats got a win, but it was submissions only! How can the referee call the match just because Big O passed out?

Davis: As a former referee, I can say that passing out in a submission hold is just as good as saying I quit. You pass out to the pain, you basically give up consciousness. Big O gave up when he passed out. Don't get me wrong, Big O was excellent, but he wasn't enough for the boss.

White: We'll be right back after this.

N.A.C.W.

First Round

Hardcore Tournament

Ban X v. Lost Metal

Written by...Brandon Williams

Hardcore Tournament

First Round

N.A.C.W.

Steve White: We've got our next match set now, we've got every thing we can use for this hardcore match, this Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal kind of hardcore match and, Tony, it can be anything.

Tony Davis: Yes it can. I'm hoping it lands on something great that we have yet to see on this show.

Dan Mazin: Like a Tuxedo match?

Tony Davis: That's your wish, not mine.

Dan Mazin: My wish is that this match gets bloody quick.

<"Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays...>

Drew Fortesque: This contest is a "spin the wheel, make the deal" match scheduled for one fall and is a first round match in the Hardcore Tournament. Coming down to the ring first, accompanied by Night Child, Weighing in at 235 lbs., Lost Metal!

Steve White: Here is the Thing that Should Not Be... Lost Metal, doing his normal entrance.

Tony Davis: Looks like he's ready.

<"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks plays...>

Drew Fortesque: His opponent, weighing in at 229 lbs., Ban X!

Steve White: Well here comes his opponent.... Ban X.

Tony Davis: Ban X just won the coin toss, he spins the wheel...

Dan Mazin: Better be somethin' good.

Steve White: Well, fans, we got ourselves a scaffold match! Its already setup. They're getting on it, they're getting on the scaffold.

Dan Mazin: They should set up tables around it.

Tony Davis: Why would they do that?

Dan Mazin: For comfort.

Tony Davis: For what?

Steve White: Well the winner will be, I mean... The loser is the one who falls off.

Tony Davis: Winner's the one who doesn't.

Steve White: Alright.

Tony Davis: They're still starting out.

Steve White: Well they're trying to push the other one off the edge.

Tony Davis: Its a 25-foot high fall here!

Steve White: Good balance is the key.

Dan Mazin: Tony, ever did a jump like this?

Tony Davis: No, and happy I haven't.

Steve White: Well one of these two will have when this match is over. Ban X kicks Metal in the midsection, and he's going to try to powerbomb him off, but Metal balances himself, Thesz pressing Ban X down.

Tony Davis: That was luck.

Steve White: Both men quick to their feet, and a lockup. Metal with a headlock takedown. Both these two have a great feel on several different wrestling styles. Both men back up.

Steve White: That's right, Tony. Punches and kicks thrown by both men.

Tony Davis: A bit of a brawl here.

Steve White: DDT by Lost Metal. Now he's gonna tire him down with a grounding sleeperhold. He breaks out, he runs, which isn't a good idea, towards Metal, and Metal kicks him in the gut and Creeping Death Drop, but countered with a reverse DDT. He looks on at the crowd a bit, here in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada who are booing because they cheer for Lost Metal.

Tony Davis: Well, somewhat mixed. Some cheers, some Boos.

Dan Mazin: Better than you ever got.

Tony Davis: Sure, and better than you'll ever get.

Steve White: Picks Lost Metal up, and attempts to throw him over, but Metal faceslams him into the scaffold.

Dan Mazin: They're both having a breather. See, if I was one of them...

Tony Davis: Here we go again...

Dan Mazin: If I was one of them, I'd just get up, and kick the other off!

Tony Davis: And if you were one of them, you'd have been thrown off by now!

Dan Mazin: And you Goldberg-ed scaffold matches, didn't you?

Tony Davis: Well, I don't remember having any.

Steve White: That doesn't matter, but this match does. Both men up again, at the same time pretty much, both trying desperately to get the other off, and Ban X delivers a piledriver to Metal!

Dan Mazin: "That's it!" He's saying its gonna be over right here and right now.

Tony Davis: Could very well be! He's getting back up, he's back to his feet!

Steve White: And, there's X Marks the Spot by Ban X! Lost Metal is out of it! He's dazed.

Dan Mazin: Uh oh. This doesn't look good for Lost Metal.

Steve White: He just fell off! Ban X has won!

<"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks plays...>

Drew Fortesque: The winner of this match, Ban X!

Steve White: Uh oh, Lost Metal has injured himself here.

Tony Davis: He has a broken leg, I think.

Steve White: Something snapped when he went down. We know that. Well, that's it for this match. Ban X wins after creaming him with X Marks the Spot, that nailed him off the scaffold.

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Ban X.

Time of Fall: 7:59.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

White: We understand that Shawn Coats has been tracked down in the locker room with a statement.

Shawn Coats: I've got a statement, and Big O, it's directed right at you. You gave it your all, and I've got a good surprise for you. Right now, I'm going to take a shower, but Big O, I've got something you're gonna love. Stay tuned, got it?

N.A.C.W.

One-Fall Match

Josh Walters v. Rob Trainor

Written by...Alan Soriano

One-Fall Match

N.A.C.W.

S.W: HELLO FANS! Its Sunday night, Its Slam Masters! The most exciting sports entertainment since Roller Derby...

T.D: Wait, they still have roller derby..

D.M: Yeah, on The NutsVille Network..

S.W: Thats Nashville, you twit!

D.M: Same difference..

S.W: Steve White here, ready to bring you some great action tonight, along with Tony Davis, and the impeccably bad dressed Dan Mazin..

D.M: Hey, Mr. Mens Wearhouse...At least I am comfortable...

T.D: Man, how long has it been since you've washed that shirt?

D.M: I dunno, picked it up off the floor yesterday..

T.D:I can tell..

D.M: Bite me..

S.W: Guys...We have a match to call..Lets go to the ring announcer...

Ann:LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL...

("So What", Originaly by the Anti Nowhere League, but as played by Metallica, starts in and fans stand..)

Ann: INTRODUCING FIRST, WEIGHING IN AT 325 LBS...THE SHOOT FIGHTER....ROBBBB

TRAAAAINORRRRR!!!!

(Trainor comes out in his shootfighting robe, jogging a bit to the ring..He has a beer, gets to the ring stairs, drinks the whole thing, to a good pop by the audience, then crushes the can on his head and screams..He throws the can out to the audience where 2 pathetic fans in need of souveniers fight for the can of Bud...)

ANn: AND HIS OPPONENT...WEIGHING IN AT 220 LB...

(Josh Walters runs in before the Announcer can finish and starts to pummel Trainor..)

*ding*

S.W: And Walters just running in and attacking Trainor..He has Trainor in the corner..ANd is laying the boots to him..Trainor catches one..IZIGURI by Walters!

T.D: A battle of two upstarts in the NACW..Josh Walters and Rob Trainor...

D.M: BORRRING!

S.W: Wrong wrestler, Dan...WHip to the other corner by Walters...Here he comes..Avalanche..And Trainor catches him! What power! Turns around once...AND SQUASHES WALTERS WITH A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! And now..he is hooking Walters in...And he has an STF type maneuver strapped onto Walters...The referee Jimmy Bravado checking on Walters...

T.D: Trainors style depends on a lot of these ground holds and types of maneuvers...Finally, Trainor lets go..And now hooks Walters up in an arm submission...

D.M: BORRRRINGG!!! Get out the pooper scooper!

T.D: Have you ever been in one of those holds, Mazin?

D.M: Have you?

T.D: Yep..Hurts like a bitch..Want me to demonstrate?

S.W: Walters fighting his way out of the submission..And makes his way to the ropes...

D.M: Im hungry again...

S.W: Go get something...Not like you were fined last time...

D.M: Allright..Anybody want anything?

T.D: Bring me back a large Royal Crown, will ya?

D.M: I dont think they sell those types of things..

T.D: I meant the cola, smart ass..

D.M: You, Steve? Sour Patch Kids?

S.W: Nah, see if they have any chocolate covered pretzels...

D.M: OKay..Be back...

S.W: Back to the match..Trainor has another submission hold on Walters...This time, a cobra clutch....Not too exciting of a style for Trainor...

T.D: But it works, Walters has had no offense since the beginning of the match! Bravado, the ref, checking up on Walters who wont submit..And listen to this crowd..

Crowd: BORRRRIIINNNGGGG...BORRRRRRRRINNNGGGGG BORRRRRRIIINNNNGGG...

S.W: I guess they are talking about Bob Booreng..I didnt know he had so many..

T.D: Dont make me hurt you, Steve...

S.W: Wait! Something is going on! Walters..fighting out of this Cobra Clutch using elbows...Another..Another gut shot by Walters...Grabs Trainors head...JAWJACKER! JAWJACKER!!! Rolls Trainor up...

Ref:1

3!!!

S.W: Walters wins the match!

D.M: Did I miss anything?

T.D: Yeah, the result of the match..

Ann: HERE IS YOUR WINNER...INTENSITY..JOSH WALTERS!

D.M: Oh shit! No way! Ah well..Here you go, Steve...And Tony...And some gummy bears for..

(A man with a grey polo shirt with the NACW logo on the breast pocket and blue jeans walks up and hands Dan Mazin a note...)

D.M: Thank you..

(He reads it)

D.M: "From the desk of Shawn Coats....

Dear Mr. Mazin,

For your actions last week, and now this week,leaving the announce booth and getting food at the concession stands on company time and money while a match is taking place, I am fining you 500 dollars for every single item that you have bought. I hope this detracts this delinquent behavior and nips it once and for all..

SIncerely,

SHAWN COATS..

D.M: WHAT! I cant believe I was fined!!

T.D:(Laughing) Pretty expensive food around these parts eh?

D.M: Bite me..You owe me 1000 bucks! I cant believe this..

S.W:(With a partially full mouth) More akshun after this...

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Josh Walters via pinfall following a jawjacker.

Time of Fall: 4:23.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

Mazin: Who's picking this music? First it's B*Witched, now the Spice Girls?

Davis: Who cares? It's just background music!

White: Josh Walters with a big win, and a couple of moments before that, it's official, Ban X has broken Lost Metal's leg. Looks like the S.O.D. is dead. We'll be right back.

N.A.C.W.

Rookie Rumble II

Written by...Patrick Gottsegen

Rookie Rumble II

N.A.C.W.

White: Right now, some of the NACW new breed, the rookies, will battle it out in the Rookie Rumble II!

[The rookies all begin coming out, one by one, to a generic theme the NACW probably paid pennies for. One after another, The Crushin' Russian;Mr. Faith; Obediah; Dudley Do Wrong; Rasta Farian; Bob Booreng; Chris Widmayer; Jaguar; Maniac; Mark McCalous; Red Leaf; The Revenger; Blood Boy.]

[Johnny Coast comes out dead last, with a mic, as the rookies begin to boil inside the ring.]

[Standing in the aisle, he begins to speak.]

Coast: "Excuse me, rookie rumble? I'm the lightheavyweight champion. I don't need this. I don't want this. I don't have to prove myself. Good bye."

White: "What the hell... he's leaving?"

Mazin: "Look at him! He's the champ! He doesn't *HAVE* to wrestle, does he?"

White: "Well, he was scheduled! I would assume the Coast fans are upset!"

Davis: "The who?"

White: "Coast fans."

Davis: "He has fans?"

Mazin: "Excuse me, I think Johnny Coast is the..."

White: "Excuse me, excuse me, there's a disturbance in the back, we have a camera dispatched..."

[The scene opens right behind the curtain, where a man with a shovel is tearing into Coast. Coast is busted open on the head, covering up, as the masked man stands over him, and lifts the belt, and throws it at his chest.]

White: "Well, fans, Coast has been brutally beaten."

Mazin: "Is that...?"

Davis: "He was smaller. Much smaller than our other mystery man."

Mazin: "Yeah, I guess."

White: "In the ring, the rumble has started, and, um, well, this is too much to call."

Mazin: "Let me give it a whirl. Ok, fans, Maniac sucks, Jaguar sucks, and Obediah and Mr. Faith are in the corner wailing on each other, Red Leaf and Rasta Farian are trading head locks, and... wait, Obediah now moved to battle the Crushin' Russian, and, uh, Farian... I mean Widmayer, no, Red Leaf..."

Davis: "Stop."

White: "Who do you like, Tony?"

Tony: "Dudley Do Wrong is a big guy in there, who's pissed off. However, Red Leaf has the power... I like the Red Leaf."

Mazin: "RUSSIAN BABY!"

White: "I'm going to have to go with Rasta Farian."

Mazin: "Rrrrrrussian!"

White: "The hell... folks, in the ring, Booering is cleaning house by... spinning around in the middle of the ring with arms out. He's clocked about six guys in the face already!"

Davis: "Interesting strategy."

Mazin: "The guy is a mental case!"

White: "Russian tosses aside Jaguar, kicks Maniac in the gut, GORILLA PRESS! HE TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!"

Mazin: "So much for that piece of crap."

Davis: <Chuckles> "I... I mean... he's a fine... aw, hell, that was great!"

White: "So, our first man is gone, in Maniac. Russian now to Dudley Do Wrong, and tackles him!"

Mazin: "Rasta Farian is holding Widmayer in a camel clutch, but Booering, dizzy, falls atop him and all three men are down!"

Davis: "Jaguar and Mark McCaulous in the the left corner, trading rights and lefts, Obediah steps over, and pulls Jaguar away, and lands a haymaker!"

White: "Russian immediately steps over, leaving Do Wrong laying on the mat, grabs McCalous' legs, and shoves him over the top!"

Mazin: "That's two..."

White: "In the meantime, Obediah is laying into Jaguar, attempting to cave in his stomach with kicks!"

Davis: "Mr. Faith comes over, and Obediah back elbows him!"

Mazin: "Into the arms of a waiting Chris Widmayer, who nails a backdrop suplex!"

White: "Obediah lifts Jaguar, plants his face in the turnbuckle, lifts his feet and sends him over the top!"

Davis: "Three."

Mazin: "The Revenger, who's been quiet, is battling Red Lead now, who's choking him on the ropes."

White: "Not to mention Blood Boy who is being decimated by Dudley Do Wrong right now."

Davis: "Talk about decimating. He's got him busted open, and he's smacking him right on the cuts."

Mazin: "You'd figure he was a postal worker, and not a cop."

White: "We have many fine postal workers in our systems."

Mazin: "All with a screw loose!"

Davis: "Ignore him. Widmayer battling with Russian now, Rasta Farian is aiding Red Leaf double teaming Revenger in the corner, Do Wrong decimating Blood Boy, Obediah and Faith trading fists... this is so confusing..."

White: "Upon more eliminations, it will clear up. Hopefully."

Mazin: "Leaf pulls Revenger to the center of the ropes, holds him there, Do Wrong places Blood Boy there... Leaf and Do Wrong are working together?"

Davis: "They leave them up against the ropes, head to the other side of the ring..."

White: "Where Russian DDT's DO WRONG!"

Mazin: "Russian Leaf join hands, run, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! That send BOTH BLOOD BOY AND THE REVENGER OVER THE TOP!"

Davis: "Talk about a bump."

Mazin: "So who's left?"

White: "Russian, Booering... who's relaxing sitting down, mostly hidden, Rasta Farian, Widmayer, Obediah, Faith, and Red Leaf, Dudley Do Wrong."

Mazin: "LEAF AND RUSSIAN ASSULT FARIAN AND WIDMAYER! Are these two working together for the rest of the match?"

Davis: "It would appear so.... or not! Russian just tossed an unsuspecting

Leaf!"

White: "Double cross! Fans, we're down to... 7. Obediah and Faith are _STILL_ beating each other senseless, Widmayer and Farian are now double teaming a hidden Booering, and Russian and Do Wrong are now bruising each other up."

Mazin: "Faith and Obediah are awfully close to the ropes."

White: "Faith knees Obediah in the gut, stands back, runs at him, backdropped! But he falls onto the apron!"

Davis: "Where he pulls over Obediah!"

White: "So Obediah's out, and Faith is still... FAITH ELIMINATED AS OBEDIAH PULLS HIM OFF THE APRON!"

Mazin: "We're down to 5! Bob Booering is still in there, although he's being pummeled severly."

Davis: "Dudley and Russian are battling, but the Russian is just too much. Elbow to the head, elbow to head, and both men are in the corner!"

White: "Russian lifts Do Wrong in a double Choke, throws him at the ropes, and proceeds to... to dropkick him over!"

Davis: "The final four. Widmayer and Farian bruising Booreng in the corner, and the Russian is taking a breather."

Mazin: "Farian and Widmayer lift Booreng, set him up... DOUBLE SUPLEX!"

White: "Throw the poor man out."

Davis: "They will. Don't worry."

Mazin: "They toss him off the ropes, but here comes Russian! He knocks both men down, and Booreng... continues to hit the ropes..."

White: "Booreng is bouncing off the ropes, and Russian is kicking Rasta Farian... Widmayer attacks from behind with a clothesline."

Davis: "Booreng is so out of it he's still running the ropes. Was he scrambled that badly?"

Mazin: "Well, Farian sneaks away, and clotheslines Bob over the top! So yes, he probably _WAS_ that fargone."

White: "Widmayer lifts Russian, attempts a slam, but Russian slides off and nails a double leg take down!"

Mazin: "Farian nails Russian with a dropkick, however!"

Davis: "Russian sent into the corner, Widmayer and Farian hop in, MONKEY FLIP HIM OUT!"

White: "Now they're planning, Widmayer slides outside, and clmbs to the top, Farian sets up Russian for a piledriver..."

Mazin: "SPIKED PILEDRVIER! SPIKED PILEDRIVER! SPIKED PILEDRIVER!"

Davis: "Well, Russian seems to be out... Widmayer kicks Farian in the gut, belly to belly position, CRADLE DDT!"

Mazin: "And Widmayer stands in the center of the ring, standing over a fallen Crushin' Russian and Rasta Farian! He throws his hands into the air, as if to say 'I'm the man!'"

White: "Widmayer to the top, leaps, leg drop, Russian slides away! Three men now on the mat!"

Davis: "Farian pulls up first, lifts the Russian, tosses him to the ropes, clothesline ducked, leapfrog, BOTH MEN COLLIDE!"

Mazin: "And Russian gets flung backward and falls atop Widmayer!"

White: "Once again, all three men are passed out!"

Davis: "Russian slides to the ropes, pulls himself up, Farian up, Widmayer on a knee..."

Mazin: "Russian and Widmayer grapple, and Farian comes in with a spinning heel kick on them both!"

White: "He lifts both men, AND SLAMS THEIR HEADS TOGETHER!"

Davis: "Quickly, he lifts Widmayer back up, into the air, and tosses him atop the Russian!"

White: "On a roll, Farian lifts both men, pushes them both to the ropes, on the ropes now, Russian shoves Farian off! He nails him with a right to the head! He punches Widmayer for good measure! Quickly, he steps back, SHORT CLOTHESLINE!"

Mazin: "THEY'RE OUT! RRRRRRUSSSSSIAN!"

White: "Wait.. does this mean... that Dan..."

Davis: "Wow... he did..."

Mazin: "I what?"

White: "Called a match right..."

Mazin: "Well, DUH."

White: "Anyhow, fans, the Crushin' Russian is your Rookie Rumble II winner, and, I think I have to fall over in shock at Dan's call."

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: The Crushin' Russian.

Time of Fall: 14:53.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

White: I think we're all stunned. Dan was actually right!

Mazin: Once of many...

White: Let's go to a break.

N.A.C.W.

Non-Title Match

Brian J. Blottie v. U.S. Champion Jeremy Rhodes

Written by...Shawn Coats

Non-Title Match

N.A.C.W.

White: Let's get ready for this next one, here, and the Canadian crowd is psyched up for this one. Brian J. Blottie, in a non-title match, will fight one of the most popular men in the NACW, United States Champion "The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes.

Mazin: Was Rhodes too much of a pussy to even put the title on the line?

Davis: No, you twat, Shawn Coats refused to let Rhodes put the title on the line this week, as he is still recovering from his injuries in the Crimson Rain match. Rhodes suffered three broken ribs, a broken right ring finger, and a fractured left forearm.

Mazin: So? What good is stepping into the ring with Blottie going to do, bang him up even more?

White: Well, Dan has a valid point. If he was too injured to put the title on the line, then he should be too injured to step into the ring.

Davis: I see what you mean, guys, but Rhodes signed the match, and Coats said that he was just too injured to put the title on the line, but not enough to get the week off.

White: Let's get down to the ring.

(("Blind" by KoRn begins to play))

Fortesque: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is set for one fall with a 30-minute time limit, and it is a non-title match. Introducing first, he weighs in at 234 pounds and stands 5'10". He thinks he's the "True Living Legend" of the sport, but everyone else thinks he's a conceited punk. He is...BRIAN J. BLOTTIE!

((The doors slide open, and Blottie enters. Dressed in his usual trunks, black jeans with nipple rings in, he enters the ring and grabs the microphone, asking for his music to be cut))

Brian J. Blottie: Please, Drew, let me introduce my friend.

((Fortesque leaves the ring, and "Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie begins to play))

Blottie: Okay, he's my opponent, my friend, and a U.S. champion...JEREMY RHODES!

((The doors slide open again, but instead of Jeremy Rhodes, a midget dressed as Rhodes, even with a plastic U.S. title. The midgets climbs into the ring, and his music cuts, as Blottie puts down the microphone))

White: What the hell is this?!

Davis: It's another Jeremy Rhodes is what it is, but this one is 3'3" instead of 6'6"!

Mazin: Blottie goes to shake the midget's hand, and he kicks him in the head! That's not much of a feat, but it's still cool!

Davis: Blottie bodyslams the midget, goes up top...he's going to end this farce early, which is good, because it never should have started.

White: Simply Legendary! Flipping legdrop from the top, and Blottie covers, but the referee refuses to cover, so Blottie comensates by making his own three!

Davis: We're not even going to acknowledge that three-count, because there wasn't really a match.

Mazin: Yes, there was, and Brian J. Blottie won!

(("Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie begins to play again))

Mazin: Wait, guys, you're playing the wrong music!

White: No, they aren't! The real Jeremy Rhodes is on his way!

Davis: You mean the real Jeremy Rhodes who isn't retired and isn't sitting next to you, right, Steve?

White: Yeah, that's what I meant, Tony!

((Jeremy Rhodes enters, U.S. title over his shoulder and Leah Singleton by his side. He is wearing a KoRn shirt and a red, blue, and white striped skirt. Leah is wearing a NACW shirt and jeans. The music cuts as Rhodes leaves the U.S. title with Singleton and then gets into an argument with Blottie))

White: Rhodes and Blottie are in an argument! Rhodes and Blottie are having words!

Davis: Blottie slaps Rhodes, and Rhodes responds with a kick to Blottie's groin! Rhodes picks Blottie up...he's got his fingers in Blottie's nipple rings! He's motioning to the crowd, who is responding with a positive reaction...AND HE PULLS!

Mazin: Ow...

White: JEREMY RHODES JUST PULLED BRIAN J. BLOTTIE'S NIPPLE RINGS RIGHT OUT! MY GOD!

Mazin: Here comes the Flying Scotsman! Scotsman is rushing down to the ring...and he pats Singleton on the ass before he slides in! She didn't like that!

White: Scotsman clotheslines Rhodes from behind! He's yelling that Rhodes hurt his friend!

Davis: Wait...aren't Scotsman and Rhodes friends?

White: Scotsman realizing what he did, but Singleton slid him the U.S. title as he was getting up...and he blasts Scotsman with it! Rhodes just hit Scotsman with the U.S. title, and he is walking out with Singleton!

Mazin: Blottie's getting up, and he kicks Scotsman in the groin on the way out! Blottie is leaving the ring, with Scotsman laying in a heap! Blottie is going to have to get medical attention. He's bleeding from his nipples!

Davis: He's going to have to ask a lady friend of his to go with him to buy him a bra of some sort. Those nipples are going to need protection, and I guess a bra is the only protection he can get on that. Maybe he can ask Chameleon for one.

Mazin: I think Chameleon's a little busy with Dave Bean's wife...

White: Scotsman is up...and he's ripped one of the turnbuckles out of the ringpost! He's gone nuts!

((The doors slide up, and Shawn Coats, dressed in a t-shirt and Adidas windbreaker pants, along with Lugz boots, fresh from a shower, trots down to the ring with a piece of paper in his left hand))

Davis: Scotsman swings and the referee and the cameraman...here comes Shawn Coats to try to calm him down, I guess.

Mazin: Coats ducks a punch from Scotsman, and he hands Scotsman the paper. Scotsman reads it, turns it upside down, reads it again...and hugs Coats?

White: Scotsman plants a kiss on Coats' bald head, and he's leaving the ring. What does that piece of paper say?

Mazin: Who knows. We have a commercial next, right?

White: Right. We'll be right back!

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Brian J. Blottie via pinfall following "Simply Legendary."

Time of Fall: 0:21.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.

White: We are just one match from completion of tonight's show, but right now, let's go to the back, where commissioner Shawn Coats has an announcement to make.

((We then fade backstage. Shawn Coats is dressed in a black Adidas t-shirt, white and black Adidas windbreaker pants, Lugz boots, and a NACW fisherman's hat. Ross Howard is standing backstage with him, holding the stick))

Ross Howard: Mr. Coats, we understand you have an announcement to make.

Shawn Coats: Yes, that's right. While they are fixing the turnbuckle that the Flying Scotsman pulled out, they being the ring crew, I have several announcements to make. First, Sunday Night Slam Masters for April 4 has been pre-empted in favor of the replay of the UIW's final card, the Night of the Fools, which is appropriate, because it's taking place on April 1. Now, don't be sad, because right now, in my hand, I have the full, complete card for NACW Clash of the Titans, our first ever non-PPV supercard, which is airing live from the Calgary Saddledome in Clagary, Alberta, Canada, on Wednesday, April 14. So, without hearing any more bullshit from me, let's move onto the card.

As you know, the Hardcore tournament semifinals will take place at this card. The first match will be Insane Wayne v. Jason Deegan, and the second match will be yours truly v. Ban X. The finals of that tournament will take place later that night, with the winner becoming the new Hardcore Champion.

In a three-way match, Bob Booreng, Red Leaf, and Rasta Farian will clash.

The New Italian Connection will fight the Cult.

Obediah will fight Shock, with the winner facing the Television Champion at NACW World Tour II on May 29.

The winner of Rookie Rumble #2, The Crushin' Russian will also be there, as he will be taking on "Intensity" Josh Walters. The winner of that match will be getting a United States title shot at NACW World Tour II, which is on May 29.

A four-way tag team title match will take place. Champions Damon Harris and Yaz Rocker, otherwise known as Sex and Violence, will be battling the Revenger and Blood Boy, Mr. Faith and Dudley Do Wrong, and making their return, it will be the Ghetto Boyz!

Chameleon, who has just added Malinda to his little group, as you know, has a rough test ahead of him coming up, the guy who gave me a hell of a fight tonight, Big O, and that one will be for the Television title!

Light Heavyweight Champion Johnny "Sun" Coast will face a mystery opponent, the same mystery opponent that attacked him just after the Rookie Rumble started.

The loser of the Soriano-McWhirter bout will take on Rob Trainor.

In a three-way non-title match, Brian J. Blottie, The Flying Scotsman, and the U.S. Champion "The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes will fight, with the winner moving on to fight the World Champion at NACW World Tour II on May 29.

And finally, the World Champion, either Alan Soriano or Shaun McWhirter, will be defending the title against "Superbeast" Billy Classon. And that's it.

Howard: Back to you guys at ringside.

((We move back ringside))

White: All right, the turnbuckle has been replaced, it's main event time, so Drew Fortesque, go!

N.A.C.W.

Main Event

World Title Match

Alan Soriano (c) v. Shaun McWhirter

Written by...Shawn Coats and Justin Russell (who took over at the start of the match)

World Title Match

Main Event

N.A.C.W.

Drew Fortesque: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is the main event, set for one fall, with a 60-minute time limit, and it is for the NACW Heavyweight Championship of the World!

(("Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play))

Fortesque: Introducing first, he weighs in at 267 pounds, stands 6'7", and hails from Waco, Texas. He is the challenger tonight..."The Scottish Monster"...SHAUN McWHIRTER!

((McWhirter enters, dressed in black windbreaker pants with "TSM" down the sides in red. He enters the ring, removes his fisherman's hat, and then his music cuts. After that, "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica begins to play))

Fortesque: And his opponent...he weighs in at 250 pounds, stands 6'5", and hails from Laguna Niguel, California...He is, for the first time ever, the World Champion...ALAN SORIANO!

((The door slides open, and out walks Soriano. He's wearing his usual long black trunks, but this time, he's got something new...the World title. The black leather strap with the gold buckle is right around his waist. He is soaking in the cheers of the crowd, as he walks slowly down to the ring. He climbs up the steps, but McWhirter blasts him with a forearm before he can even get into the ring. Soriano falls throat-first onto the guard rail, and the title is quickly grabbed by Fortesque. Since Soriano was never "officially" in the ring, the match hasn't started, but his music cuts anyways))

White: McWhirter is taking the fight to Soriano early, attempting to get him out before it starts. McWhirter leaves the ring, and these two are going to have a good old fashioned brawl on the outside!

Davis: Thrills. I don't like this pre-match brawling stuff.

Mazin: McWhirter slams Soriano's head into the guard rail, and goes for a second shot, but Soriano gets his hands up and blocks it! Soriano slams McWhirter's head into the rail, and now, throws him into the ringpost!

Davis: Get in the damn ring!

White: Soriano must've heard you, because he threw McWhirter into the ring, and he slides into the ring!

DING!

Mazin: Soriano gets McWhirter back up, whips him in, and clotheslines him down! Soriano off the ropes...elbowdrop! Soriano makes a quick cover!

ONE!

TW...KICKOUT!

White: McWhirter pops a shoulder out. Soriano gets McWhirter up, tries a headlock, but McWhirter uses a back suplex! Soriano rolls over onto his stomach, and McWhirter gets near Soriano's arm, but Soriano slides away before McWhirter can try something.

Davis: Soriano back up, ducks under a charging McWhirter clothesline, but McWhirter rebounds off and drops Soriano with a shoulder block. Soriano rolls over, and McWhirter drops an elbow to the back of Soriano's neck.

White: McWhirter lets Soriano get up, and applies a standing front chancery. McWhirter drapes Soriano's arm over his neck, and gets in a vertical suplex! McWhirter rolls over, and sinks in a triangle choke, but Soriano pulls himself to the ropes by scooting his body and gets his feet on the ropes.

Mazin: Cheater!

Davis: What the hell are you talking about? Soriano's forcing a break!

Mazin: Yeah, but every time someone you two don't like see that guy do that, you say that he's taking the easy way out! That's a double-standard!

Davis: Just shut up...

Mazin: Admit it, Tony, I'm right!

White: McWhirter gets a swinging neckbreaker on Soriano, but he's not making a cover, which could hurt him.

Mazin: Yeah, especially against a guy like Soriano, who'll cheat at any shot he gets.

Davis: Soriano gets back up, spins McWhirter around, and nails him with an inverted atomic drop! McWhirter is holding his crotch, and Soriano rolls over him with a clothesline!

White: Soriano picks up McWhirter...Michinoku driver! Soriano just drove McWhirter head-first onto the canvas! Soriano rolls over into a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THR...KICKOUT!

Mazin: Soriano gets up, McWhirter is back up, and those two tie up. McWhirter tries to trip Soriano from behind, but Soriano, who falls a bit, gets his other foot up and monkey flips McWhirter across the ring!

White: McWhirter runs at Soriano, and Soriano nails an armdrag takedown, applying an armbar with a knee planted in McWhirter's shoulder blades, working the entire arm.

Davis: That's smart wrestling by Soriano. Not only does it apply pressure to two main parts of McWhirter's body, but it kills off his arm if it's on there long enough. Even if someone grinds their knee into your shoulder lightly, it will hurt the shoulder.

Mazin: McWhirter inching himself to the ropes...and he's there, Soriano has to break the hold.

White: Soriano lets McWhirter up, and he tackles McWhirter, sliding around to the side and taking him down, applying a kneebar just as McWhirter hits the mat. McWhirter, however, rolls over and applies a one-sided surfboard, with a toehold and McWhirter pulling on the arm on the same side. Good wrestling by Soriano, but good countering by McWhirter.

Davis: McWhirter cranking on that hold, trying to force a submission, but Soriano drives an elbow to McWhirter's head with the free arm, and that sends McWhirter to the mat, holding his face.

Mazin: Soriano rolls over, sets up, and starts driving fists into McWhirter's face!

Davis: Soriano either trying to open a cut, or to temporarily blind McWhirter in the left eye. He's just pounding on McWhirter!

Mazin: McWhirter blocks a shot, and knocks Soriano off!

White: McWhirter whips Soriano in, McWhirter ducks down and tries a backdrop, but Soriano twists his body in the air, somehow lands on his feet, lifts McWhirter up...ANNIHIDRIVER IV! He hits his Spicolli Driver variation, but he holds it for a stacked cradle!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING!

Fortesque: Your winner of this match, and *STILL* NACW World Champion...ALAN SORIANO!

White: We're out of time! Later!

N.A.C.W.

Official Result...

Winner: Alan Soriano via pinfall following the Annihidriver IV and a stacked cradle.

Time of Fall: 5:34.

Official Result...

N.A.C.W.