Ross Howard: Tonight, here in the New Orleans Superdome, North American Championship Wrestling returns to action...

<The Light Heavyweight title, which is a blue leather strap and a silver medallion, appears on the screen, and then the four combatants (Ken Coffin, The Blue Streak, Jeremy Rhodes, and Eddie Deegan appear>

Howard: Four of the best Light Heavyweights in this sport clash in the opening contest. Ken Coffin makes his return to the Light Heavyweight ranks after wrestling in the heavyweight division for months. The Blue Streak has come out of nowhere to appear in the Light Heavyweight match. Jeremy Rhodes is making his Light Heavyweight debut after losing over 60 pounds in the hospital. Finally, Eddie Deegan, who is arguably *the* best Light Heavyweight in the sport, will attempt to reclaim what he feels is rightfully his.

<Darkfire and Jojo Fireball then show up on the screen>

Howard: Two young rookies, Darkfire and Jojo Fireball, will try to impress all as they make their NACW pay-per-view debut against each other.

<The UFC-style octagon appears on the screen, with a dated clip of Crash Domino from his GWC days appearing next to Damon Harris of Sex & Violence>

Howard: A man who hasn't been seen in months will be making his NACW debut against a man who is just starting in the sport. Crash Domino battles Damon Harris in a UFC-style shootfight.

<The picture of Harris expands so you can see his tag team partner, Yaz Rocker. Also appearing on the screen are the Cult, Deegan and Rhodes, and then Pope Sixtus the Sixth and Cardinal Syn, with the NACW Tag Team Titles in the center. The NACW Tag Team titles are green leather straps with gold medallions>

Howard: The Tag Team titles are up for grabs as the long-dormant is being revised. The favorites in the match, Damon Harris and Yaz Rocker, the team of Sex & Violence, will be going for the belts against the Cult, which is the team of Harbringer and Kenny Smith, Pope Sixtus the Sixth and Cardinal Syn, and the unlikely pair of "El Diablo" Eddie Deegan and "The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes.

<The Television title (red leather strap, gold medallion) appears on the screen, followed by Ian Bradley walking to the ring and then The Nameless Tragedy sitting in the corner appear on a split screen>

Howard: A war of the words finally gets settled in the ring, as Ian Bradley, with special guest Jayson Williams, will be fighting The Nameless Tragedy in a falls-count-anywhere match.

<The United States title, which is a white leather strap and a gold medallion, then appears on the screen, along with Insane Wayne, Death Master, Kevin Hall, and Vincent Maxim>

Howard: The U.S. title is on the line as four of the sport's top competitors will battle in a four-way match.

<Finally, the World title, which is a black leather strap and a gold medallion, appears on the screen, following a random shot of every man in the battle royal>

Howard: Finally, 40 men will appear in the ring for a Royal Rumble match. 39 will go home, some walking, others injured, in a bad mood. One man? He'll walk home with the most coveted title in professional wrestling...

<"He Got Game" by Public Enemy begins to play>

Howard: The Virtual Airlines News Flash presents...NACW BAD AND NATIONWIDE!

<The intro disappears. Then, we fade to the sold-out Superdome. It is packed with screaming fans, even those who have spelled out the chorus of Billy Classon's entrance music, "The Ballad of Resurrection Joe and Rosa Whore" by Rob Zombie, in signs are standing. The arena setup looks quite different from the Slam Masters setup. There are four video walls that form a 8' by 12' entrance. From there, it is a 25-foot walk to the ring, which is set up for the matches. The ring mat has the Bad and Nationwide logo on it, with a blue mat background. The ring ropes, turnbuckles, apron cover, and ringposts are all black. We see the UFC-style octagon near the entrance, and then, we pan back down to the commentator's table. Steve White, Dan Mazin, and Tony Davis are in their usual clothing. The music stops, and White begins to speak, nearly having to yell over the loud fans>

Steve White: Welcome to Bad and Nationwide, presented to you by the Virtual Airlines News Flash! If you are looking for *the* best internet radio show, check out www.virtualairlines.com/vanf and be one of the 800,000-plus to listen to Gary and Isaac every Saturday night at 8:00 p.m., Eastern time!

Dan Mazin: Are we getting...gasp...*sponsors*?

Tony Davis: I should hope so. How else can we afford such talent?

White: Well, we've got a few things to remind you about. First off, as you know, this pay-per-view has been taped, because we've only got three hours to present this card to you, and we knew this card was going to run long. So, for time constraints, we had to remove the Light Heavyweight match, the Darkfire-Fireball match, and the UFC-style match. However, we do plan to tell you what happened.

Mazin: The UFC-style match between Crash Domino and Damon Harris was quite a shock, mainly because, well...Harris beat the shootfighting expert in Domino! There was a bit of a problem with this, though, because Harris had to accept a forfeit win. Domino was introduced four times, and he failed to arrive at the octagon, so he had to forfeit the match.

Davis: And trust us, you didn't miss much in the Darkfire-Jojo Fireball match. Darkfire took all of 90 seconds to put away with Fireball, blasting him with what had to be the roughest DDT I've ever seen, and Darkfire pinned him.

White: Finally, the four-way Light Heavyweight match was all-out brutal. Ken Coffin was first to go, as he took the Lobo Snap from Jeremy Rhodes. However, quickly after that, Deegan used a small package and pinned Rhodes. Finally, Rhodes took a chair after he was eliminated and smacked Deegan upside the head with the chair, which lead to the Blue Streak catching Deegan in an inside cradle and Streak possibly scored the upset of a lifetime with a pinfall win and the Light Heavyweight title win over Eddie Deegan. You heard that right; The Blue Streak is the Light Heavyweight Champion.

Davis: And now, we're going to our first television match of the evening, the four-way tag team title match.

White: Lets get back to the ring for our next match.

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the next match is FOUR-WAY TAG TEAM CONTEST FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES!!! Introducing first at a combined weight of 435 pounds!!! SEX AND VIOLENCE!!!!

[ "Chocolate Salty Balls" by Chef begins to play as the team comes out to a good pop as they slap hands with the crowd. ]

Announcer: Team number 2 weighs in at a combined weight of 485 pounds Pope Sixtus the Sixth and Cardinal Syn.

[ "Losing my Religion" by REM starts up as they come out to a shower of boos. They stay concentrated and head staright to the ring. ]

Announcer: And their opponents weighing in at a total combined weight of 410 pounds. Jeremy Rhodes and El Diablo Eddie Deegan!!!!

[ "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace begins to play as Deegan comes out ahead of Rhodes shaking his head. Rhodes just stares at Deegan as they make their way down to the ring. ]

Davis: It doesn't seem like Rhodes and Deegan are getting along.

Mazin: Sure they are it is just their gameplan.

Announcer: And finally weighing in at a total combined weight of 555 pounds, accompanied by Johnny Douglas, THE CULT!!!

[ "Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson begins to play as the two walk out very focused to a chorus of boos. Smith stops and looks at a sign which says I want in the Cult. He than turns and continues down to ringside. ]

White: Well it looks like the Cult has a few fans.

Davis: Just one.

Mazin: I want in the Cult.

White: Well we are almost ready to begin this matchup. It will be Harbringer and Deegan starting things off.

Davis: Deegan lunges towards Harbringer for a collar and elbow tieup. But Harbringer throws Deegan into the corner. And he tags into Rhodes who doesn't seem too happy about being tagged in. He gets in the ring and sizes up Harbringer.

Mazin: Let's go LOBO!!!!

White: Lobo runs off the ropes and he dives at Harbringer's knee and that brings the bigger man down. Rhodes is up and he runs off the ropes and hits a leg drop. He goes for the cover. 1...2KICKOUT!

Davis: He is going to have to do more than that to pin him.

Mazin: That was a slow count!

White: Rhodes sends Harbringer off the ropes and he goes for a crossbody block, NO! A backbreaker by Harbringer. He goes over and he tags in Smith. Harbringer opens Rhodes up and Smith with a boot to the ribs. Smith picks up Rhodes and he takes him down with a bodyslam. Now he has a chokehold on Rhodes. The ref puts on the count.

Mazin: Come on ref break the hold!

Davis: You saying something is illegal?

Mazin: Shutup Davis.

White: Smith sends Rhodes off the ropes and he ducks the clothesline, Smith going for a backdrop, NO a swinging neckbreaker by Rhodes. He has to make a tag now. Smith over to a corner and he tags in Damon Harris of Sex and Violence. Rhodes is at his corner but what is Deegan doing.

Davis: Deegan is talking to a chick that is seated at ringside. Rhodes pushes Deegan and the two are arguing. Wait!

White: A rollup by Harris!

Mazin: NO!!!!

White: 1...2...3...!!!! That's it. Rhodes and Deegan have been eliminated.

Davis: Deegan cost his team the match.

Mazin: What were they thinking?

Davis: I don't know but they are eliminated.

White: Meanwhile Cardinal Syn has entered the ring and he is taking it to Harris. Rights and Lefts Harris is down. Syn takes him to his corner and he tags in the Pope. The Pope is choking Harris in the corner with his boot. He now has Harris up and a running Powerslam. He gets up and he tags in Cardinal Syn. Syn is climbing the ropes.

Davis: This is a bad idea!

Mazin: Go Big Man!

White: He jumps for a Big Splash and he connects. He throws him into a corner and Harbringer is tagged in. Harbringer and the big man tie up. Harbringer sends him off the ropes and he back body drops Syn out of the ring. He tags in Yaz Rocker.

Davis: Syn is taking his time getting up.

Mazin: Watch out!

White: OH! Rocker just hit a TOPE CON HILO!!! He is back in the ring. And here he comes again. A SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA!! Cardinal Syn is in trouble. Rocker throws Syn back in the ring. He tags in Harris. Syn is up but he is near the ropes and they hit him with a double dropkick which sends him to the outside. Rocker and Harris look at each other as The Pope goes over to help his partner. Here they come again.

Davis: DOUBLE PLANCHAS!! OH MY!!!

Mazin: Oh boy, they can not be getting up from that. The two get into the ring and await. Cardinal Syn crawls into the ring. Here comes Harris.

White: There is a crucifix DDT!!

Davis: That is step 1.

White: And Rocker hits a Double Stomp between the shoulder blades of Syn. The cover. 1...2... here comes the Pope but Harris cuts him off 3...!!! 2 TEAMS LEFT!!

Davis: We are down to two teams.

Mazin: I put my money on Harbringer and Smith.

Davis: You would.

White: Rocker and Smith are in the ring. Smith goes for a Lou Thesz press but Rocker moves out of the way and he dropkicks him. Smith back up and another Dropkick. Rocker tags in Harris who is already on the top. Rocker sends Smith off the ropes and Harris hits a Missle Dropkick. Smith is going back up top and he goes for a FrogSplash,

NO!!!!

Mazin: Get the tag! Get the TAG!!!

White: There is a tag into Yaz Rocker and here comes Harbringer Harbringer goes for a clothesline but a duckdown by Rocker and he picks up the big man and down with a JUVI DRIVER!!! Here comes Smith but a HURRICANRANA!!!! Rocker tags in Harris he is signaling for something. Harris gets him up and a crucifix DDT on Smith!!!!

Davis: Here we go again

Mazin: Douglas do something.

White: Wait what is Johnny Douglas doing he has thrown a chair in the ring and he jumps up on the apron and he is distracting the referee. Harbringer is up and [ THWACK!!] OH MAN! A charshot to the head of Harris. Rocker up and he gets nailed with the chair. The ref is back as Harbringer is pinning Harris. 1...2...

Davis: NO!!!!! 3...

Mazin: YES!!!

Davis: What injustice.

Mazin: Your Tag Team champions THE CULT!!!

White: I hate to say it but the CULT are your new tag team champions.

Time of Final Fall: 12:17

White: That was quite the travesty of justice, as the Cult beats out Sex & Violence in the very end.

Davis: Gee, that match was just so, I don't know...*thrilling*.

Mazin: Dripping with sarcasm?

Davis: I'm looking forward to the battle royal, I can't be annoyed with you.

White: Let's go to our next match...

Davis: Ok and were ready to with our next match here on Bad and Nationwide. We have a men with a much heated history. And they "The Scottish Monster" Shaun McWhriter and Antonio Castillo. Steve I think this my be a very brutal match I don't know about you but I'm ready to see this soon to be blood bath......

Mazin:You need a bath Tony, damn you stink! Or is that just your commentating?

White: I think that's your own arrogance you smell Dan......anyway enough with your crap these guys have had a huge history and were gonna show you how it got started.....

<<<An opening clip of the first Sunday Slam Master's airs. It shows part of the match between McWhriter and Castillo. The ending is shown where the time limit expires just before McWhriter's hand could be released. Then a clip is show of the Darkfire .vs. McWhriter match from the last episode of Sunday Night Slam Master's. It shows Castillo coming in and giving McWhriter the big hit costing him the win against Darkfire.>>>

White:Well Tony, I don't really know who's gonna win this one I think they both really want to tear each other a new one.

Mazin: Just say it.

White: What?

Mazin: The word.

White: What word?

Mazin: ASSHOLE! You asshole!

White: Oh I'm sorry I reserved some taste for myself......asshole.

Mazin: WHAT?!

White: Ok now we have a special announcement concerning this match.

Davis: That's right it has been ruled no DQ and no Countout , falls count anywhere!

Mazin: Hey I didn't know about this!!! How come I wasn't informed?

Davis: Because no one likes you?

Mazin: Atleast I'm still not a virgin TONY!

Davis: Yes you are....

Mazin: Hey! You said you weren't gonna tell anyone!

Davis: So sue me! Let's get on with this match let's go to the ring for the Introductions.

<"Behold! The Nightmare" By the Smashing Pumpkins begin's to play over the P.A.>

Announcer: This next match is scheduled for one fall and has NO TIME LIMIT, No DISQUALIFICATION AND NO COUNT-OUT! FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE IN THE

ARENA! Your Referee for this match is the Senior Referee of the NACW Mikey Johnson. First I would like to Introduce a man who stands six feet five inches and weighs in at two-hundred and fifty-nine pounds!!! HE IS ANTONIO "THE ROOOOOOOOOOOCK" CASTILOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

<The door opens and Castilo comes out in his usual black tights to a very mixed reaction to the crowd. A couple of McWhriter fans sitting by the rail jump up and flip him off and Antonio returns the favor with a lugie that makes the fans jump the railing and try to get to Castillo. One gets by security and put's him out with The Big Hit. he keeps his stride and slides under the bottom rope and backs himself into a corner.>

Mazin: Well that goes to show you that the fans here are idiots!!!!!! Only smart person in this whole damn arena is me!!!! They got what they deserved. There just lucky they didn't bark up my tree or they would be stretchered out!!!!!

Davis: Yes I'm sure you'd bore them to death.

<"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath comes on the loud speaker. The fans know the music and boo in appriciation.>

Announcer: And his oppenent he stands six feet seven inches tall and weighs in at two-hundred and sixty-seven pounds. He is "The Scottish Monster" SHAUUUUUUUUN McWHRRRIIIIIIIIITERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

<The fans begin to boo even more heavily. After a couple of seconds of nothing no one comes out.>

Davis: Where is he!?!?! Is he here yet?!?!?!

White: He wouldn't no show a NACW match much less a Pay-Per-View. Let's try it again.

Announcer: Once again "The Scottish Monster" SHAUUUUUUUUUUN McWHRRIIIIIIIIITERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

White: My god where the hell is this man?

Davis: I don't know!! I'll ask someone in the back.

Mazin: Ahh....he's a pussy I knew he wouldn't show. I'm surprised Castillo didn't stay at home either!!!!!

White:Well, there seem's to be a commotion in the crowd......there's someone fighting through a bunch of people, I can't tell what's going on......WAIT!!!!! THAT"S McWHRITER AND HE'S GOT A CHAIR!!!!

Davis: He's over the gaurd rail and Castillo hasn't notcied yet. He's on the apron and in the ring now. He nudges Castillo with the chair and winds up.....

White: Castillo turns around and ...

<WHAP!!!!!!!!! The chair double's over on his head!!!!.>

Davis: JESUS CHRIST STEVE!!!!!!!!!!

White: That has to be one of the hardest chairshot's I have seen in my whole lifetime!!!!!!

Mazin: HAHAHAHA!!!!!! WHAT A DUMBASS, HE LOOKS LIKE HE RAN INTO A BRICK......nonono a STEEL wall! WAHAHAHA!!!

White: McWhriter goes for the pin early....Mikey Johnson with the count....

1.....

2.....

KICK OUT!!!!!

Davis: My god I don't see how he ever kicked out of that! He's lucky to be alive.

Mazin: McWhirter puts the boots to Castillo and is showing no mercy.....you know this McWhirter guy isn't as bad as I thought, I mean I could sitll kick his ass but he's better than I thought.

White: Well weither or not that's true McWhirter is taking it to Castillo. He pulls Castillo up. McWhirter with a bear hug, belly-to-belly suplex on Castillo. McWhirter is in top form tonight I dont know if Antonio has a chance.

Mazin: McWhriter picks him back up and a scoop slam on Castillo. McWhriter goes the corner and is on the second rope. Jumps......knee to the face of Castillo who is still in pain from that chair shot.

Davis<who fools with a cooler trying to get a drink.> GODDAMN IT!!!!

White: Tony that was a good knee but not that good.

Davis: NO DAN DRANK MY GODDAMN DR.PEPPER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WHILE THE SAME TWO GUYS ARE WRESTLING!!!!!!!!!

Mazin<covering the Dr.Pepper can with his hand.>:I'm sorry but I don't know what your talking about I only drink jolt see...

Davis: Ahh screw it I'll just drink Steve's diet. <slurp.> Ahh....McWhriter has Castillo back up again. Sends him to the drops. Clothesline <burp.> No! Castillo ducks and comes back hit's McWhriter with a clothersline that staggers McWhriter but doesn't take him down.

White: Castillo off the ropes again and he hits another one that has the same effect on him. Castillo goes for a third and sends both men over the top rope onto the outside!!!!

Davis: It looks like McWhriter hit his head on the concrete out there. He's bleeding from the back off his head now. Both men are slow to get up, Castillo first and now he's going to get a chair of his own!!!

White: Uh-oh it looks like its time for payback. Castillo has the chair still dazed. He starts running towards McWhriter.....McWhriter is Up and <Whap.> OHHHH A devestating chair shot to the head of McWhriter that opens him up even wider!!!!

Mazin:Oh wow your a poet and don't know it.

Davis: Shut up and call the match Dan!!!!

Mazin: You know I would but this Dr. Pepper is just so damn good!!! Don't you wish you had some Tony?

Davis: Damn it Dan! Go to hell!!!!

White: Ok Since your so busy with your important debate I'll keep track of this match for the fans who care about this!!!! Castillo is walking back waiting for McWhriter again. McWhriter staggers to his feet. Castillo runs again!!!!

Mazin: Drop toe-hold by McWhriter and Castillo hits the chair face first!!!!!!! McWhriter is quick to his feet this time. He just saw the blood on himself and he looks pissed!!!!!!!

Davis: McWhriter picks Castillo up and gives him a hard irish whip into the gaurd rail and Castillo goes flying over into the Fans!!!!!!! McWhriter jumps the gaurdrail and begins to pummel Castillo with punches and kicks!!!! Castillo begins to crawl up the steps and McWhriter is having a hard time fighting threw the crowd to get to him!!!!

White: McWhriter gets threw the crowd and a low blow by Castillo. Both men are beaten like dogs but sitll have a lot of fight left in them. They are trading punches as the work up the steps and the crowd loves the gore!!!!!!! Castillo with the advantage now. Kick to the stomach ....THE BIG HIT!!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!!! HE NAILED IT!!!!!!!!!! MCHWRITER IS OUT!!!!!!!! MIKEY JOHNSON WITH THE COUNT!!!!!!!

1!!!!!!!!!

2!!!!!!!!!

3 NO!!!!!!! KICK OUT BY MCWHRITER!!!!!!!!

Mazin: Castillo can't believe it!!!!! He's in shock!!! "The Rock" grabs McWhriter by the hair and has pulled into the refreshment area of the arena!!!! Castillo with some punches. He goes for a snap suplex, and hits. "Rock" now going to work on "The Scottish Monster" with left's and right's.

Davis: Castillo pulls up McWhriter. He takes him over to the merchandise stand and clears off all the t-shirts. Castillo get's on top of table and pulls McWhriter up there with him. Castillo sets him up for the East River Drop!!!! HE'S UP SPINS!!!!! HE LOST HIS BALANCE BUT STILL HIT IT!!!!

White: But I'm not sure who it hurt worse McWhriter who went threw the table or Castillo who fell off and hit his head on the concreate. Castillo is getting up slowly...slower than McWhriter. McWhirter is up, barley able to stand but he is. McWhirter hit's Castillo with some hard rights that almost send "The Rock" down.

Mazin: McWhriter picks him up in a Fireman's Carry. Samoan Drop on the concreate!!! And both men are down McWhirter is on top...

1!!!!!!!!

2!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND ALMOST ALMOST A THREE COUNT!!!!!!!!!

Davis: Castillo barely got his shoulder up. Now McWhirter, dissappointed, is back up and pulls Castillo up by his hair and they take a walk to the consestions of this place!!!!!

White:McWhirter spots a Popcorn stand is now walking towards it. He tries to put Castillo's through it and Castillo blocks it!!! Reversal!!!! And popcorn is everywhere!!!!!! Both men are tired and bruised from the beating they've both taken but there both putting on one helluva match and both are up at the same time.

Mazin: Look at that!! McWhirter runined all the popcorn with all his bleeding!! It's all stained red!!!

Davis: Oh that's ok Dan you need to lose the weight anyway.

Mazin: Yeah I know that's why I'm drinking Dr.Pepper it's low calories.

Davis: BLOW ME!!!!!!

White: Ok.....that's a bad mental picture.....anyway on with the match. Both are back up and they're slipping on the butter spilled from the popcorn......and both fall and hit there backs!!!!!!

Davis: They're shaken but not done yet!!! Castillo first up, Mcwhirter is up now.......Castillo from behind......DIRT NAP!!!!!!!!!!

White: McWhriter is struggling for air. He backs up and hit Castillo against a metal pylon in the arena and Castillo releases the hold. Man I though Castillo had him that time. McWhirter is catching his breath and starts to walkover to arena doors.....

Mazin: Castillo is up and is chasing after him...THERE TAKING IT TO THE PARKING LOT. Castillo runs down McWhirter and hits with a clothesline from behind sending him hard. Castillo picks up McWhirter and takes him over to a car in the lot and get's on top of the hood.

White: Dan that looks an awful lot like your car.....

Mazin: No its not mine. I'm damn sure it's not.

White: Ok if you say so.......Castillo now on the top......he's calling for the East River Drop again!!!!! Can he hit it!!!!! He set's him up!!!!! McWhirter slip's out facebuster a la Kidman threw the windshield!!!!!!! And Castillo is now a bloody mess!!!!!!!!

Mazin: Hey wait a minute.....I see a Ted Nuget cd.....wait a minute.......THAT'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S MY CAR!!!!!!!!!

Davis:AHAHAHAHAhAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! <Davis grabs his Dr.Pepper back from Mazin as Mazin goes into shock.> Sorry about the car DAN TOUGH NUGET HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

White: Jesus while you guys are acting like idiots McWhirter is back with the advantage and has Castillo on the roof of the car again. This time HE calls for the East River Drop!!!!! HE's gonna finish him off with his own move! MCWHIRTER HAS HIM UP AND DOWN!!!!!!!! THE HOOD HAS COLLAPSED!!!!!!!!! BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE YOU CAN BARLEY MAKE OUT THERE FACES!!!!!! MCWHIRTER LANDED ON CASTILLO!!!!!!!!!!! MIKEY JOHNSON WITH THE COUNT!!!!!

1!!!!!!!!!!

2!!!!!!!!!!

3!!!!!!!!!!

White:MCWHIRTER WINS IT!!!!!! WHAT A MATCH!!!!!! That had to be the most brutal match this year!!!! Or atleast until the battle royal tonight!!!!! What do you guys think.

Mazin: <whimpering.> My car.......it's ruined......I can't believe it........I'm out a whole $300 hundred dollars......

White: Ok.....Tony?

Davis: Damn, I love Dr.Pepper......wha huh? Oh the match. Yeah the ending was great I almost felt sorry about the car though.......then I remembered it was Dan's!!!!!!!!

White: One thing is for certain that will be a match to remember!!!!!!!

Davis: Now *that* was more my speed!

Mazin: My car...my car!

Davis: That's what you get for drinking my soda, you little freak. If you had the mental intellect to stick to your own drinks, then you wouldn't have your car demolished.

White: We've got a Television title match up next!

David Smith - This next match is a Falls Count Anywhere Match...

David Smith - ["Psycho Man" by Black Sabbath starts to play A sign reads "The Nameless Tragedy will get BOMBED!!!"] Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing The Nameless Tragedy.

[The Nameless Tragedy makes his way to the ring.]

David Smith - ["Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana Begins...]And his opponent, Coming

to the ring at this time accompanied by Rebecca Bradley and from the New Jersey Nets,

Jayson Williams, [the crowd erupts!!] standing 6'7", weighing 305, "Theee Booomb"

Iaaan Braaadleeey!!!

["The Bomb" Ian Bradley walks to the ring.]

[The Bell Rings and the match officially begins]

Dan Mazin - Bomb Bradley dives on to The Nameless Tragedy and he's pounding away at

the forehead of The Nameless Tragedy!

Tony Davis - What an incredible series of punches!!

Steve White - The Nameless Tragedy rolls to the outside and Ian is right behind him.

Dan Mazin - The Nameless Tragedy is stumbling. Bomb Bradley scoops him up and slams him to the ground!!

Tony Davis - The Nameless Tragedy with a low blow to "The Bomb" Ian Bradley knocking him off his feet!! Desperation maneuver by Nameless Tragedy!! Leg drop across the throat of Bomb Bradley! The Nameless Tragedy repeatedly slamming "The Bomb" Ian Bradley's face down! He could break his nose!!

Steve White - Tragedy gets up and heads to the timekeepers table. He grabs the bell!!!

Tony Davis- Don't tell me he's gonna use the bell on Bradley!!!

Dan Mazin - C'mon Nameless, knock that punk out!!!

Tony Davis - Nameless Tragedy has the bell, Ian is stumbling to his feet. The Nameless

Tragedy measuring him up! Bradley with a kick to the solarplexes. Ian now with the bell!!!

[CLANG!!!!]

Steve White - OH!!! That bell shot sends the Tragedy down to the floor hard!!! Nameless

appears to have a gash on his head from that shot.

Dan Mazin - The Nameless Tragedy is pulled to his feet by "The Bomb" Ian Bradley. Ian

with a European uppercut which sends Nameless over the barrier.

Tony Davis - "The Bomb" Ian Bradley has a chair...Oh! He nailed The Nameless Tragedy

with it!!!

Steve White - That coulda been the end of The Nameless Tragedy!!!

Dan Mazin - The Nameless Tragedy is staggers to his feet, trying to escape!

Tony Davis - Wait, whats this?!?! Dennis Rodman has just jumped the barrier and clocked Jayson Williams with a chair!!!

Steve White - Ian Bradley saw this and has turned around and is running towards

Rodman. The Worm doesn’t see him and Bradley spear tackles him from behind!!!

Dan Mazin - "The Bomb" Ian Bradley is pounding on Dennis Rodman. Wait, where did

the Tragedy come from? He was just behind us and now he's behind Bradley?!?!

Tony Davis - He's got a mop handle!!! Ian turn around!!!

Steve White - OH MY!!! Ian just got nailed right in the back of the head. The Nameless

Tragedy drops the broken mop handle and pulls something from his pants!!!

Dan Mazin - Oh! The Nameless Tragedy nailed Bomb Bradley with brass knuckles! Look

at the blood flowing from the face of Ian Bradley. The Nameless Tragedy is all over Ian!

He's choking him out!! Bomb Bradley won't be able to take that for long! What an

awesome match!!!!

Tony Davis - Both fighters are bloody and now we have to two basketball stars laying

outside the ring as well!!!

Steve White - The Nameless Tragedy pulls Ian to his feet and now is dragging him

backstage. Their now back outside the dressing rooms. The Tragedy grabs a pipe and

OH, he just clocked Ian Bradley with it!!!

Dan Mazin - Bomb Bradley trying desperately to get back to his feet. Again the Tragedy

hits him with that pipe!!! Way to go Nameless!!!

Tony Davis - That could have been the end of Ian! The Nameless Tragedy now with the

cover. 1...2...

Steve White - No!!! Ian gets a shoulder up!!!

Dan Mazin - We're not seeing much offense from Bomb Bradley.

Tony Davis - The Nameless Tragedy is looking for something else to hit Ian with. Wait,

Ian is now back to his feet. He walks up behind The Nameless Tragedy, OH MY!!! Ian

drops The Nameless Tragedy with a big reverse DDT right on the concrete!!!

Steve White - The Nameless Tragedy is out cold! Good move by "The Bomb" Ian

Bradley.

Dan Mazin - Ian grabs the brass knuckles from The Nameless Tragedy. He's pounding

away at the forehead of The Nameless Tragedy!

Tony Davis - What an incredible series of punches!! Ian with the hair of Nameless

Tragedy.

Steve White - Ian drags The Nameless Tragedy into the garage area. Ian looks to be

going for a pump-handle slam on, Tony look, isn't that Mazin's car???

Tony Davis - It is!!! C'mon Ian put him through the hood!!!

Dan Mazin - Whew!!! Nameless Tragedy got out of it! Davis, I hope they go for your car

next!!!

Steve White - The Nameless Tragedy now setting Ian up for what looks to be a vertical

suplex. On to Mazin's car!!!

Dan Mazin - "The Bomb" Ian Bradley blocked it! From now on I'm parking outside

instead of in here, my insurance rates are high enough!!

Tony Davis - The Nameless Tragedy is all over Bomb Bradley! He's hitting him with

everything he has left!!! Bomb Bradley is stumbling.

Steve White - Good moves by Nameless Tragedy. The Nameless Tragedy out of no where with a DDT! "The Bomb" Ian Bradley went down hard on the pavement! The Nameless Tragedy pulling "The Bomb" Ian Bradley back to his feet. Oh what a match! Look at the blood on both these men!! Its a wonder they are both still alive!! The cover! Oh! Look at the strength of "The Bomb" Ian Bradley not even a 1 count!!!

Dan Mazin - Ian with a kick to the groin and down goes Nameless Tragedy. Nameless

Tragedy moving back to his feet Bomb Bradley scoops him up and slams him to the

ground!!

Tony Davis - That could have been the end of The Nameless Tragedy! The Nameless

Tragedy is down and he isn't moving.

Steve White - These boys are gonna feel it tomorrow. If they live that long!!!!

Dan Mazin - Ian grabs The Nameless Tragedy by the hair and rolls him onto a car. Hey,

that looks like Shaun McWhirter's car!! Wait, it is his car!!

Tony Davis - Ian get on the car. Sets up and BOOM!!! Big time piledriver by Ian

Bradley. That's gotta be the end of The Nameless Tragedy!!! The cover 1...2...

Steve White - 3!!! Ian wins the bloodiest match I have ever seen! However, Garrett Kulash was laughing his head off during the count! I'm surprised that Kulash could even make the count!

Tony Davis - Ian now making his way back to ringside. He can barely walk!!!

[The crowd erupts as Ian comes through the curtain.]

David Smith - Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... "Theee Booomb" Iaaan

Braaadleeey!!!

White: What is it with finishing people off on cars?

Davis: Recurring themes...what a nightmare. At least Garrett Kulash was having a great time counting that pin.

Mazin: We'll see how he does when he's the one taking the punishment one of these days.

White: Up next...U.S. title match!

["Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins to play over the sound system.]

Mazin: "Hall! The great one! The man who uses the _MOST_ devastating hold in pro wrestling today!"

[Kevin Hall steps through the curtain, in his black singlet. He tosses his long, black hair behind him and begins to step down the aisle, to an oddly received face pop. He acknowledges the crowd on the apron, raising his hand in the air and turning around toward them. He then steps over the top rope, and into the ring.]

White: "Quite possibly the man to run away with it all here... we know he can handle, as he's 4 times a champion of the world."

Davis: "I'd put my money on the Death Master. LOOK at the guy."

Mazin: "Yeah, look at the pure, unadulterated _SUCK_."

White: "Please!"

["12" by the Insane Clown Posse replaces "Kashmir."]

[Through the curtain steps insane Wayne, his arms locked in a dirty looking straight jacket. He slides up the aisle way, walking half sideways, with of course the little doll sticking up through the top of the jacket. He walks so sideways that you can see clearly the tattoo on the side of his head of the little man. Wayne makes if halfway down the aisle, where he begins to spin in place, until he staggers ringside. He slides under the bottom rope where referee Brian "Bryan Storm" Stevens helps him undo his jacket.]

Mazin: "BOO. BOO!"

White: "You may not like him, but Wayne is on a roll, and the fans are defiantly taking to this man."

Davis: "Yeah. And he goes nuts in that ring."

White: "Thus the name... Insane Wayne."

Mazin: "Look at him! He's a basket case! He sucks! He has *no* business being in that ring!"

Davis: "He could destroy _YOU_!"

Mazin: "Am I a wrestler?"

Davis: "Sometimes I wish you were...."

["Of Wolf And Man" by Metallica begins to play over the sound system.]

[A man in solid black, from his trench coat, to his shirt, to his boots, to his jeans, steps through the curtain. Well, he does have silver sunglasses. He steps right the aisle showing no emotion whatsoever, in an attempt to isolate the other wrestlers from him. He finally makes it to ring side, climbs the steps, and steps right on into the ring. The fans pelt him with boos, as they just don't seem to be getting into that guy.]

White: "Coming off a big win teamed with Eddie Deegan, here's Vincent Maxim!"

Davis: <Coughing> "Chair shot <Hack, hack> Chair shot."

Mazin: "Davis, shut up, and think for a second- who won the match?"

White: "Girls, you're both pretty."

Davis: "Why, thank you..."

White: "We have one more introduction to get to..."

[Suddenly, the arena fills with smoke, and a red flare shoots out from the aisle way in the form of a laser. A death bell begins to play.]

[Through the curtain steps the Death Master, who stalks slowly down the aisle. The fans are in complete awe of this man, Decked out in a leather jacket with his long, black, greasy hair falling atop it. GtB, the manager of the death master, walks in front of him carrying the Staff of Destruction which is, to the best of our knowledge, nothing more than a cane.]

Mazin: "Bull-shit. Bull-shit."

White: "WILL YOU PLEASE?"

Mazin: "What? It's Pay Per View. It's not like the time when the lawyers were all over us cause I called Shawn Coats a dic-"

White: "DAN!"

Davis: "Man, you're asking for a fine..."

White: "To change the subject, let's put down picks, right now!"

Mazin: "Why don't we make a little interesting, you know, say, 50 bucks?"

White: "Gambling is illegal, sir."

Mazin: "Oh... why don't we _NOT_ make it interesting then, and _NOT_ bet fifty

bucks?"

Davis: "I'm up for _NOT_ betting fifty bucks."

White: "Hmmm... great idea."

[The three men all pull out their wallets, and each place two twenties and a ten on the booth.]

Mazin: "If we _WERE_ to bet, I'd put my money on Kevin Hall. He's a great

looking guy."

Davis: "And I like Vinny Maxim. Off the big win, you know."

White: "Hmmm... I'm an Insane Wayne man, myself."

Mazin: "WHAT?!" <Mazin busts out into laughter.>

White: "Anyway, this is elimination style, meaning you win when three of the opponents have been defeated. To start it off are Maxim and Death Master, two men with similar styles."

Mazin: "And they're off! Right hands from each man, we've got ourselves a slobbaknocka'!"

White: "Into a neutral corner, Death Master has the advantage, and he's banging rights into Maxim's head!"

Davis: "He grabs Maxim by the ears... and beils him out of the corner!"

Mazin: "And Maxim slides over and tags Kevin Hall... good move by The Zombie."

White: "Hall comes in, and walks at his own leisurely pace. Master does as well, and they meet in the center of the ring. Collar and elbow tie up, Hall spins it into a side headlock, Master pushes him to the ropes, tosses him, no, reversed, and Hall boots him in the nose on the way back! Master collapses, and falls into the corner of Wayne! Tag is made!"

Mazin: "Save some air time for me."

White: "So sorry, Dan."

Davis: "Anyway.. Wayne comes in, and dives at Hall's knees! Hall buckles! Wayne is now biting his knee! And this guy is sane enough to wrestle?"

Mazin: "He's _NOT_. I want him out of here!"

White: "He's so Insane, he has no regard for himself, and that's why he's great in there!"

Davis: "Yeah, and look at him lay the boots to Hall's knee!"

White: "Now Wayne turns his attention toward the turnbuckle! He climbs to the 2nd rope, senton, nails the knee! Hall is screaming! And Wayne is juking around the ring like a pure nut!"

Mazin: "Hall pulls himself up on the ropes, dives, and tags in a reluctant Death Master!"

Davis: "Wayne sees this, and he just spear tackled Master in the corner! Now he's pummeling _HIS_ knee with his boots!"

Mazin: "He drags Master toward the middle of the ring, and... What the hell? Is this? A... Spinning toe hold applied by Wayne?"

White: "Fans, Mazin is _FLABBERGASTED_!"

Mazin: "He's doing a wrestling hold..."

Davis: "His finisher is a wrestling hold!"

Mazin: "Yeah, but, that was all he knew."

White: "And Death Master is screaming in pain!"

Mazin: "But he kicks away Wayne with the other leg anyhow! Now he crawls over, and tags Maxim!"

White: "Maxim steps through the ropes, and... oh, no, this is bad news for Wayne..."

Davis: "EDDIE DEEGAN HAS MADE AN APPEARANCE AT THE RINGSIDE AREA!"

Mazin: "With a chair!"

[Eddie walks up, opens his chair at the top of the aisleway, and sits.]

Davis: "Showing a little class, he sits. Maybe he's thinking he's a US title contender, no?"

White: "Deegan? Never. He thinks he's god. He's either Lightweight or World, we all know him."

Mazin: "And that's why he's so damn cool."

Davis: "He could have at least _WAITED_ to interfere in this thing."

White: "Why? He's Eddie Deegan. He does what he wants. While he sits, let's look in the ring, huh?"

Mazin: "Well, right now, Maxim is beating the snot out of Wayne."

White: "In the center of the ring, Maxim to the ropes, SPLASH on Wayne!"

Davis: "No cover by the MAN though."

Mazin: "Maxim lifts Wayne, belly to back position, lifts, and drops! And now Maxim makes his way over to Hall, and tags out."

White: "Hall's still got a little limp, eh?"

Davis: "Sure does. He steps in, lifts Wayne with ONE HAND into the air, and fires him across the ring!"

Mazin: "Wayne's head is resting under the bottom rope, he looks half dead, yet never better!"

White: "Will you please show some respect?"

Mazin: "What, for _THAT_ thing?"

Davis: "Yeah, that thing."

Mazin: "Screw off, Tony."

Davis: "Excuse me?"

White: "PLEASE! Hall pulls Wayne up, and drags him to the center of the ring, and applies an abdominal stretch! What pain Wayne must be going through now!"

Mazin: "Oh, poor Wayne! I be... I _DIDN'T_ bet on Wayne! I don't want to see him looooose!"

White: "Will you please? Wayne still in the stretch, not really screaming, just kind off grunting..."

Davis: "I don't know if that's a grunt so much as a yelp..."

White: "Yelp, that sounds right. Anyhow, Hall isn't relenting, and Wayne isn't comfortable."

Mazin: "Wayne's struggling, though. I mean, at least the dirty bastard is trying."

White: "I think he's unconscience. Wilson, check the hand!"

Davis: "I think he knows that. He's heading over."

[Wilson lifts the hand once....

it falls.]

[Wilson lifts the hand twice....

it falls a second time.]

[Wilson lifts his hand a third time...

It stays up!]

White: "And Wayne's stomping his foot, he's trying to come back! He stomps, and stomps, and stomps, and he throws Hall over his shoulder!"

Mazin: "WHAT? No!"

Davis: "Wayne fumbles around, and tags Death Master!"

White: "Death Master comes, and Hall is up but staggered! Master spins him around, right to the nose! Right to the nose! Kick to the gut! DDT! Cover!

1....

2....

NO!"

Mazin: "Death Master stands back up, tosses Hall to the ropes, follows in, AVALANCHE! But Hall doesn't fall, so... AVALANCHE! Hall still up! Death Master runs in again, and hits _ANOTHER_ avalanche!"

Davis: "He's pointing to the top rope! It could be time to see a TRUTH!"

White: "He puts Hall on the top! He climbs up, slowly, slowly, he's up there! He turns Hall, puts him between his legs... HALL BACKDROPS HIM OFF!"

Mazin: "Hall now is staggered, backward on the top rope... He looks back... Back elbow on Death Master! Cover!

1....

2...

NO!"

White: "Hall now, groggy, walks over, and tags in Maxim! Maxim steps in, lifts Death Master, standing head scissors... POWERBOMB! NAILED IT! NAILED IT!"

Davis: "But he tries a one footed cover!

1...

2..

And Death Master easily rolls away his foot."

Mazin: "Why on earth would he try that after a powerbomb?"

White: "Well, Maxim's the type of guy who likes to stay at a vertical base. Thus, he's hard to pin."

Davis: "Which is why I _DIDN'T_ bet on him."

Mazin: "Maxim now hits the ropes, and legdrops Death Master in the throat. He

slides to the head, and applies a reverse chin lock."

White: "Master on one knee, another, breaks out of the headlock, and tosses

Maxim to the ropes... MAXIM COMES BACK WITH A BACK ELBOW!" Maxim comes now

stands over Death Master, and taunts the crowd!"

Mazin: "He lifts Death Master, and lifts him... ZOMBIE PILEDRIVER TIME?!"

White: "It could be! Belly to belly, they are!"

Davis: "And he drops Death Master on his head! He reaches over for the crab,

but... I think..."

White: "Death Master immediately grabs the ropes."

Mazin: "And Maxim tags out to Hall, and forces him in that ring."

White: "Hmm... are they not letting Wayne in the ring for any particular

reason?"

Mazin: "The man in INSANE!"

Davis: "Exactly!"

Mazin: "Oh... oh yeah."

White: "Anyway, Hall lifts up Death Master, and... Death Master clothesline

him down! Both men fall!"

Davis: "Double count applied, but Hall is already starting to rise."

White: "And he's up, lifts Death Master again, and Death Master clothesline

him down again! Hall rolls backward, and tags Maxim again! Maxim is _NOT_

happy!"

Mazin: "So? He got tagged in, he gets in the damn ring."

Davis: "And he does so. He steps over to Death Master, and gets tripped up! He

falls!"

Mazin: "But Eddie Deegan is standing!"

White: "Great.. here we go. He folds up the chair! I wonder what _THAT_ could

mean. Hmmm."

Davis: "He steps toward the ring, and... provokes Hall?"

Mazin: "Wilson flies over to Hall to keep him on the apron, and Deegan slides

in the ring! Maxim and Death Master are both up, staring right at Deegan!"

White: "And and Maxim slugs Master, and holds him for Eddie!"

Mazin: "Eddie.. What the hell? He just tossed Death Master aside, and he..."

[TTHHHHHHAAAAAAWWWWWCCCCCCKKKKKK]

Davis: "He just busted open Maxim!"

White: "Eddie slides out of the ring, and he walks over to Hall and the ref,

and... apologizes to Hall?"

Mazin: "I think he's playing mind games."

Davis: "He points Wilson over to Death Master with his left arm slung over

Maxim's body!"

White: "NO! NO! Don't eliminate him like this!"

Davis: "YEAH! I HAVE FIF... I DON'T HAVE FIFTY BUCKS RIDING ON THIS!"

Mazin: "1....

2....

AND I'M TWO MEN AWAY FROM _NOT_ BEING A HUNDRED BUCKS RICHER!"

White: "DAMN IT. Fans, Maxim has been eliminated due to a Deegan chair shot."

Davis: "A travesty of justice..."

Mazin: "... that makes my wallet fatter."

White: "Hall climbs into the ring before Wayne can, and immediately drops on

top of Death Master!

1....

2...

NO!"

Davis: "No such luck for your man, Dan."

Mazin: "Yeah, but watch this. He lifts Death Master, pushes him to the ropes,

thrown, reversal by Master, Master drops the head, and Hall elbows him in the

back of the head!"

White: "And tags Wayne!"

[The fans begin to chant "Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!" as a fan lifts a sign

reading "The Insanity Reigns!" toward the other fans.]

White: "The support this man gets!"

Mazin: "Wayne gets in the ring, and immediately splashes Master!

1...

2...

NO!"

Davis: "Wayne now, heading to the top... he's up, he balances, he leaps, FROG

SPLASH ATTEMPT, MISSED! MASTER ROLLED ASIDE!"

White: "And now the Death Master _HAS_ to tag out to Hall, or he'll be

finished."

Mazin: "Death Master begins crawling... he's almost there... but Hall

naturally doesn't have the hand extended! Death Master is in the corner, but

he needs to stand up!"

Davis: "He pulls on the ropes to stand, he's halfway up, but here comes

Wayne!"

White: "And Death Master mule kicks him!"

Mazin: "And tags Hall!"

White: "Hall comes in, and immediately lifts Wayne! Kick to the gut, double

underhook.. uh oh..."

Davis: "Hall flips up Wayne, but Wayne blocks it and falls! He breaks the

double underhook, and shoulder butts Hall in the gut! And again! Hall shoved

into the ropes! Wayne chases him down, and clotheslines him over the top

rope!"

Mazin: "And now Wayne balances on the top rope, right smack in the center, and

falls on top of Hall!"

White: "Wayne now lifts Hall again, and tosses him to the steel railing, and

follows him in with a baseball slide style dropkick to the knee!"

Davis: "Hall buckles over, and Wayne grabs a chair!"

White: "Wilson is out trying to stop him, but Wayne is INSANE!"

Mazin: "Thanks for reiterating that! Ack, no, my man Hall... CHAIR TO THE

KNEE!"

White: "AND AGAIN!"

Davis: "YET AGAIN!"

White: "Wow! The man is wailing away at Hall! This is some sick stuff!"

Mazin: "Wayne now slides Hall into the ring, and tags out to Death Master!"

White: "Death Master immediately goes for the kill, kicking in Kevin Hall's

knee!"

Davis: "He's just as relentless as Wayne was! Now Death Master climbs to the

2nd turnbuckle on the inside, points to Hall, and drops the elbow on the

knee!"

Mazin: "UGH! I don't need this kind of stuff! I need my money!"

White: "Death Master now lifts Hall, belly to back position, in the air,

KNEEBREAKER! They go knee to knee!"

Mazin: "NO! C'MON HALL, THERE'S TEN BUCKS IN IT FOR YA'!"

Davis: "So much for _NOT_ betting."

White: "Seriously."

Mazin: "Awww, shut up."

Davis: "Anyway... Master is going in for the kill now! He lifts the legs of

Hall, wraps halfway around for the figure four... HALL WITH A ROLL UP!"

[Mazin jumps up!]

Mazin: "1

2....

THREE! THAT'S MY MAN! HALL! HALL! IT'S HALL AND WAYNE NOW!"

Davis: "And Wayne storms the ring! He kicks Hall in the back, and then hits

the ropes! He comes back, elbow, missed! Right back up, drops an elbow,

missed!"

Mazin: "Hall to a knee, his good knee, stands up, limping, boots Wayne with

the bad knee! This may be what I need for my man to become the US CHAMPION OF

THE NACW!"

White: "Wayne stands, slowly, groggily, and Hall lifts him over his shoulder

on the good side!"

Davis: "What this... POWERSLAM! AND WAYNE WAS PLANTED INTO THE MAT!"

Mazin: "Hall covers!

1...

2...

NO!"

Davis: "Hall lifts Wayne again, tosses him to the ropes, catches him coming

back, SPINEBUSTER! FOLLOWS QUICKLY WITH LATERAL PRESS!

1...

2...

NO!"

White: "Hall, irritated, lifts Wayne back up, tosses him into the corner,

hobbles in following him... splats him onto the top rope, follows him up,

front face lock on both men..."

Davis: "SUPERPLEX!"

White: "Yet ANOTHER COVER!

1...

2...

THREE! HALL GOT HIM!"

Davis: "TWO! It was only a two! Just a two!"

Mazin: "DAMMIT, THAT WAS A THREE! THREE, PEOPLE, THREE! IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO

COUNT TO THREE!"

Davis: "Calm yourself, there, Mazy."

White: "Hall lifts Wayne again, but Wayne can't even stand! He falls right

down!"

Mazin: "And Hall lifts him again, but once again Wayne falls right down."

Davis: "Wayne grabs Hall's ankle's, he's out of it."

Mazin: "He's begging for mercy!"

White: "I don't know..."

Mazin: "Sure he is! Look at Hall laugh at the peasant boy!"

Davis: "Wayne yanks back at the feet, and Hall's knee buckles!"

Mazin: "Wayne stands, checks his heads, and falls with head first onto Hall's

knee! NO!"

White: "I think I heard something snap, and judging by the face on Hall... I

wouldn't doubt it."

Davis: "Wayne back up, holding his head, stumbles around the ring, and comes

back to Hall! He lifts the man up, who swings with a left, but Hall misses!

Behind him, Wayne applies a full nelson.."

White: "STR8 JACKET! THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT!"

Mazin: "NOOOOO!"

Davis: "HALL IS FIGHTING IT!"

Mazin: "C'MON! US TITLE! US TITLE! US TITLE!"

White: "He's not giving it up! But Wayne is kicking the knee with the nelson

applied!"

Davis: "He's slipping into unconscieness!"

White: "Wilson's doing the arm!"

Mazin: "FUCK!"

White: "Dan! 150 bucks com... not coming my way!"

Davis: "The hand falls once!"

White: "The hand falls twice!"

Mazin: "NOOOOO!"

White: "And trice! Folks, Insane Wayne is your US Champion!"

[Steve White happily pockets the 150 dollars.]

Mazin: "HOW?!"

White: "Just like that..."

Mazin: Why did you thank Steve for calling you a pretty girl, Tony?

Davis: It's called sarcasm, you stoop.

White: Yeah, sure, Tony.

Mazin: Weren't you that guy in drag not too long ago in that bar?

Davis: No...I'm not like you, Dan.

Mazin: Wait a second...

White: BATTLE ROYAL TIME!

White: We've had a great card so far, as well as an incredible performance by the Experience, but it's all led up to this. The 40-man Royal Rumble, with the winner becoming the new World Champion. We've got all of the champions so far in this match. U.S. Champion Insane Wayne is in this, Television Champion Ian Bradley will be involved, Light Heavyweight Champion The Blue Streak, and the tag team champions of Harbringer and Kenny Smith.

Mazin: Who cares? None of them will be World Champion when this match is over.

Davis: How exactly do you know that?

Mazin: Because I'm smart, that's why.

White: So, who do you guys think is going to win?

Mazin: I like Death Master. The guy is big, he's tough, and that's all you need to know.

Davis: I'm going to go with Insane Wayne. The man's crazy, but I think he's going to walk out as the U.S. and World Champion tonight.

White: Silly as this may seem, I'm going to go with "Big Dog" Justin Russell. I know he's entering at #1, and in order to make it all the way, he'll have to go through 39 other men and last over 90 minutes, but he stands a good shot. He's got stamina, and he has never been beaten in a battle royal.

Davis: I don't know about that...

Mazin: Neither do I.

White: Okay...it's go time. Let's head to David Smith who has the call.

David Smith: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the 40-man Royal Rumble! The winner will become the brand new NACW World Champion!

<the crowd executes a mind-numbing pop>

Smith: The rules of this bout are simple. 40 men drew random numbers before tonight's card. <yes, we released the entry before, but we're having the crowd and announcers ignore it> The first two men, who have already been announced, will enter first, and a new man will enter every two minutes thereafter. The only way to be eliminated is if you are thrown over the top rope, and then both feet touching the ringside floor. The match will be complete after all 40 men have entered, and 39 have been eliminated. May the best man win! And now, let's introduce the man who will enter the ring first.

<"La Grange" by ZZ Top begins to play, and the crowd explodes with cheers>

Smith: Introducing first, he weighs in at 278 pounds and stands 6'11". Here is the former two-time NACW World Champion..."Big Dog" Justin Russell!

<The doors slide open to possibly one of the loudest pops imaginable. Russell walks out, a little bit self-satisifed after beating up Jesse Camp earlier. He is wearing his usual trunks (black rubber pants with the Confederate battle flag superimposed on one side and the Apache symbol for war on the other), and this time his t-shirt has the same symbol on the front as the trunks had. One can't help but notice that the left side of his hair had been dyed red, while the other side remains light auburn. Of course, the trademark dreadlocks are still there. Russell gets down to the ring, steps over the top rope, and his music cuts. After that, "The Ballad of Resurrection Joe and Rosa Whore" begins to play>

Smith: And now, the man who drew #2. He weighs in at 169 pounds and stands 5'8". Here is the former NACW World Light Heavyweight Champion..."Superbeast" Billy Classon!

<Classon walks out and gets the same insane pop Russell got. He is dressed in the bottom part of a red gi, with his black belt, shootfighting gloves, and ankle guards. His long, wheat-blond hair is in a ponytail. As he gets halfway down the aisle, he stops, raises his hands, and the fans begin singing the chorus of the song...>

Crowd: SHE WANTS SOME MORE, SWEET ROSA WHORE...

SHE WANTS SOME MORE...SWEET ROSA...

I SAY HELL IS LOVE...

YOU SAY I MUST SUFFER...

SHE'S A MOTH-ER-FUCK-ER...

RE-SURR-ECT ME!

<The music cuts as soon as Classon slides underneath the bottom rope and begins showing off to the crowd. He looks at his former best friend with a look of contempt, and then grins. The bell rings>

White: We're underway, and this is going to be one hell of a battle royal!

Davis: Russell doesn't look like he's got too much heart into this. After all, these two grew up together, they went to college together, the broke into wrestling together, and they even married Harris sisters, as of course, we know Justin is married to Courtney, better known as Indiyah, and Billy married Mary Harris, so these two are also brothers-in-law as well.

Mazin: Thank you, you fountain of information.

White: Russell takes a deep breath, and he's talking to Classon.

Mazin: Talking doesn't get it done in this match. You've got to fight, or you're screwed.

Davis: Russell reluctantly locks up with Classon, and Russell heaves Classon across the ring with ease.

White: Classon looking up at the big man, and Russell is just shrugging his shoulders. Classon now back up, Russell goes for a tie-up, but Classon delivers a kick right to the stomach! Russell is double over, and Classon nails a kneelift! Russell staggering around a bit, and Classon is off the ropes, spins off, and nails a tumbleweed insiguri! Russell is down on the canvas, and Billy Classon has taken quick control!

Mazin: Classon's outweighed by 109 pounds in that ring against Russell, so he needs to work, and work hard. Classon bouncing off the ropes, waiting for Russell to show a sign of life. Russell gets to a knee, and Classon runs off...dropkick to the shoulder! Russell is back down, and Classon is plastering him with kicks to the ribs while Russell is down!

Davis: Russell is trying to roll away from Classon, but Classon has lightning-like speed and precision with those kicks! Classon attempts another, but Russell quickly spins around and takes Classon's legs out from under him with a leg sweep!

White: Classon kips up, as does Russell, and Russell charges with a clothesline, but Classon zaps him with a savate kick! Russell is back down!

Davis: if Russell can't get those hands up, then Classon is going to have a field day with him.

Mazin: Classon awaiting Russell to return to his feet. Russell is standing again, Classon takes off, runs up Russell...skywalker hook kick! Classon ran up Russell like Russell runs up those turnbuckles for that skywalker moonsault of his, and Classon nailed Russell on the side of his head with the ankle bone!

White: We've got about 30 seconds before #3 enters, and hopefully, it will be an ally for Russell, because he's getting beaten up in that ring.

Davis: Classon is making the most of what he's got now. Russell slowly getting to his feet, Classon charges at him, leaps up, grabs hold of the head, and plants him with a face front DDT.

White: Classon applying a triangle choke!

Mazin: Russell is fading! He's almost out two minutes into this match!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! The lights go out, and "Back on Earth" begins to play>

White: What the heck?

Davis: Don't ask me...hey, Mazin, what are you doing down there?!

Mazin: I hate it when the lights go out like that!

White: We are in complete darkness, and Dan Mazin is under the table.

<THUNK!>

Mazin: Hey, who kicked me?

Davis and White: Oops...

<The lights return up, and a figure with a hooded cloak is standing on the steps. The music cuts, and the man steps into the ring>

White: This would be our third entrant, I guess.

Davis: Whoever this guy is, he has gone straight for Billy Classon! The man has picked up Classon...pygmy suplex! Classon springs back to his feet, and this man catches him with an overhead belly-to-belly!

White: He's taking off his hood...that's...THAT'S CRASH DOMINO!

<Domino, for those reading on your monitor, has changed his look. His singlet is all-black, with AoDCD (short for "Angel of Death" Crash Domino) on the back in white. On the sides are pictures of the crucified Jesus, with "my savior..." underneath in white. On his black boots and kneepads are crucifixes>

Mazin: "Angel of Death" Crash Domino has arrived in the NACW! When he no-showed that shootfight with Damon Harris, we wondered why, but now, we know why! He's saving himself for the battle royal!

Davis: Domino is beating up Billy Classon, which is giving Justin Russell a little rest. Classon swings with a wild kick, but Domino catches it and has him...t-bone suplex! Domino just sent Classon flying into the ring mat head-first!

White: Russell is getting to his feet now, and he's patting Domino on the shoulder, but Domino spins around, grabs both arms, and nails a double-armlock suplex! Russell landed right on his shoulders!

Mazin: Domino removing his cloak, and we guess that he's found Jesus. For those who didn't know, Domino was injured by Justin Russell in July of 1998 and is just now returning to action. Classon is back up, and Classon has been caught by Domino, who lands a vicious belly-to-back suplex, releasing the hold in mid-air so Classon folds like a cheap accordion on the way down.

White: Russell kicking Classon, who is lying on his stomach thanks to the impact of that suplex. Russell looks to have recovered well from that brutal attack that Classon dished out to him in the first two minutes.

Davis: Domino from behind, and he grabs Russell! Domino nails him with a back suplex turned into a face plant in mid-air! Russell holding onto his nose, in severe pain...and he's bleeding. He's been busted open from his nose.

White: He may have sustained a broken nose on that. He landed right on his face.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Behold! The Nightmare" by the Smashing Pumpkins begins to play>

White: That can mean only one thing; Antonio Castillo is on his way to the ring!

<Castillo, dressed in his usual black trunks, walks down to the ring in a cocky manner. He slides underneath the bottom rope and begins kicking Classon. The music cuts>

Davis: So far, it hasn't been a good night for Castillo. He lost to Shaun McWhirter in that no-time-limit match, so he's not feeling too happy, and I'm sure drawing #4 doesn't please him one bit.

Mazin: Castillo stomping on Classon, but Castillo's old enemy, Crash Domino, whill have none of that, as he nails Castillo with a insiguri! Castillo isn't down, but Classon kicks him in the kneecap, and that sends him down!

White: Castillo's kneecap may have just been dislocated! Classon with a brutal kick to the knee!

Davis: Castillo is hurt, and Domino isn't showing any sympathy! He's locked Castillo's left arm and his head into a suplex, and he;'s walking him over to the ropes! Domino lifts up, and throws him over the top rope! Castillo trying to grip onto the ropes, and Russell boots him in the back of the head to send him flying to the floor!

Smith: Antonio Castillo has been eliminated!

White: We've got one man out, and we're about to get #5 up soon. Domino and Russell are slugging it out, now, and Classon stands up , taking a little rest. Classon walks around behind Russell and nails him with a palm shot to the back of Russell's head, which leads to an easy snap suplex by Domino.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! No music plays, and Jack "Shot Glass" Daniels sprints out to loud boos>

Davis: A former two-time NACW United States Champion is on his way to the ring now, and he slides in, taking it to Crash Domino.

Mazin: Jesus H. Christ! Does this guy ever bathe?!

White: Daniels hammering away on Domino, working over the "Angel of Death" with those trademark hard fists.

Davis: Classon walks around to Daniels, taps him on the shoulder, ducks a wild punch, and superkicks him over the top rope!

Smith: Jack "Shot Glass" Daniels has been eliminated!

White: We've back to the original three now, and it's Classon, Domino, and Russell just fighting it out in a vicious three-way fight. Russell back up, and he grabs Classon from behind...headbutts him from behind! Russell has Classon stunned, and he places Classon in a dragon sleeper-style hook, but Russell hooks the gi and lifts him up...reversed vertical suplex, and Classon slams chest-first into the mat!

Mazin: Russell wiping his nose, and he's going to have to do something about that blood. He can't stand there bleeding for the entire match, or he's going to end up with blood loss. Russell reaching...he takes off his t-shirt, and he's holding it to his nose, sitting down in one of the corners, and looking up at the lights.

Davis: yeah, that may stop the bleeding, but what will it do if Domino and Classon start attacking him?

White: I wouldn't worry about that. Those two are fighting each other.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "12" by the Insane Clown Posse begins to play and a "Wayne" chant starts up. Insane Wayne then comes out with a loud pop, the U.S. title around his waist. The Little Doll ever has a miniature U.S. title belt around his waist. Wayne walks down to the ring, takes off the belt, and then climbs into the ring, which causes the music to cut>

Mazin: There's the United States Champion...

White: You say that like you are disappointed.

Mazin: I am.

Davis: Russell standing back up, and that bleeding has stopped. He's throwing that t-shirt to a lucky fan, and he's going to be the one who will fight Insane Wayne. Russell and Classon have been in there for ten minutes, Domino for eight, so those three have to be a little winded.

White: Wayne and Russell are punching at each other, and the former two-time World Champion is getting the best of the current United States Champion. Russell pounding on Wayne, who is now slouched in the corner.

Mazin: Meanwhile, on the other side, Classon is taking it to Domino with rapid, hard kicks to the body and shoulders. Classon with a right kick to the ribs, a left kick to the shoulder, and then a right kick to the side of the head that sends Domino down to the mat!

Davis: Wayne is leaning against the bottom turnbuckle, and Classon runs in, but Russell moves out of the way, and Classon nails a corner dropkick on Wayne! Russell and Classon are now duking it out! With Domino and Wayne down, Russell and Classon are going at it! Russell slams several forearm shots to the head of Classon!

White: Russell whips Classon off, picks him up off the rebound, and has him in a military press! Russell is pressing Classon over his head! Domino and Wayne are up, as they are fighting each other, and Russell throws Classon like a log onto Domino and Wayne, which sends all three crashing to the canvas, and these fans are going completely out of their minds!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Of Wolf and Man" by Metallica begins to play, and the man dressed in all black, Vincent Maxim walks down to the ring. He shows no emotion to the crowd, and he promptly attacks Wayne as he gets into the ring. The music cuts>

Mazin: And here comes the man who was screwed out of the U.S. title by Eddie Deegan.

White: Wait. Who said he would have won?

Davis: I didn't.

Mazin: Well, he could have won.

Davis: Yeah, right.

White: We have five men in the ring, and things look bad for Insane Wayne, who is taking some brutal shots from our #7 man, Vincent Maxim. Wayne turns it around, though, and now he's giving out some shots to Maxim!

Davis: Wayne is taking Maxim's head and slamming it into the ring mat. Wayne is now dropping Maxim's head to the mat one more time, and he's going to handle Domino now. Wayne tries to attack Domino from behind, but...Domino does a split to avoid the punch?!

Mazin: That can't feel good.

Davis: You think he banged his nuts on the mat?

Mazin: Why do you ask?

Davis: Because Domino is crouched over.

'

Mazin: Oh.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S., I Love You)" by "Chef" Isaac Hayes begins to play, as the fans explodes into a loud pop. Yaz Rocker then walks out the door, in his usual black rubber trunks with S&V on the sides in white. He gets into the ring and the music cuts>

White: And the more experienced member of Sex & Violence, Yaz Rocker, is in the ring at this time. Rocker gets Maxim up, lifts him up...slingshot suplex into a Rocker Driver! Rocker now picks up the prone Maxim and throws him over the top rope! However, Insane Wayne picks the kid up and throws *him* over the top!

Smith: Yaz Rocker and Vincent Maxim have been eliminated!

Davis: Russell a little woozy in the corner, and Classon isn't showing any mercy, as he's nailing several quick, hard kicks to the body. Russell is sagging down in the corner, and he's flat out taking a beating!

Mazin: Wayne has Domino by the hair, and begins a giant hair swing! Wayne spins him around, leaps...facebuster! That's an innovative move! Now, Domino, disoriented, is trying to get up, and Wayne throws him over the top rope!

Smith: "Angel of Death" Crash Domino has been eliminated!

White: Wayne now with Classon, trying to throw him over the top, but Classon hanging on the to middle rope as he goes over and gets back in behind Wayne, so he's going to catch a breather as Wayne works on "Big Dog" Justin Russell.

Davis: Three eliminations in 30 seconds, that shows you how fast things can happen in this type of match. Russell is taking an absolute beating from Wayne, and "Superbeast" Billy Classon is just sitting back and watching it! I honestly don't think Wayne has even seen that Classon has gotten back into the ring!

Mazin: Man. This has got to be one of the best NACW matches in history. We're talking about classics like Rhodes/Soriano/Daniels, you've got Russell vs. Garcia, you've got Master Edge vs. Jason Deegan, the epic Eddie Deegan-Billy Classon Light Heavyweight match, and so much more, but I'm starting to think that this is the best match ever from the NACW!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! No music, as Triple X trots down the ring to absolutely no reaction>

White: And Triple X has entered the festivities. This marks 18 minutes for Russell and Classon. Classon is now going after Triple X, and Russell is trying to fight back against Wayne, but he's taking an absolute beating. Wayne nailing a few knees to the forehead of Russell, and now he's showing off.

Davis: Russell trying to pull himself up with the use of the ropes, but he's struggling to even move. Russell is getting back up, and Wayne is still driving shots into Russell.

Mazin: Look at that look of intensity of Russell's eyes! Wayne is looking at Russell, and Wayne has a look of fear in his eyes! Russell looks like he could cut through a brick with that glare!

White: Wayne is begging off, but Russell is taking it to Wayne! Russell with one...two...three...and now four left hands, and now a right! Wayne hits the deck! Russell holds him up and puts him against the ropes, as does Classon with Triple X, and Russell shoves all three! Wayne and Triple X hit the floor, but Classon slides back in! How the hell are these two still fighting?

Smith: Triple X and Insane Wayne have been eliminated!

Davis: We're back down to Russell and Classon, but for just another 30 seconds. Russell seems to have the advantage, as he has nailed a snap suplex on the kid.

Mazin: Russell has Classon up, lifts him again...military press slam, and down goes Classon!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! No music, as Togo X trots down to the ring>

White: And a former NACW United States Champion, Togo X, is on his way to the ring. He slides underneath the ropes, and he begins working on Classon, who is down in the center of the ring. Togo lifts up Classon and sends him up with a slingshot suplex, but only the "suplex" part doesn't show up! He just guillotined Classon, stomach-first, over the top rope!

Mazin: Togo leaps up to the tope rope, but Russell charges in and runs right into the buckle, and that sends Togo crotch-first onto that metal turnbuckle hook! Russell following him up...superplex!

Davis: Togo crashes down to the canvas, and he's holding his back in excruciating pain! Togo is in some serious trouble!

Mazin: Russell is starting to add that superplex to his arsenal. We're seeing a lot of it as of late.

White: Well, with Russell's height, a superplex is about nine feet of Russell, then three more feet off of the middle rope to the mat, so that's twelve feet. If he did it from the top rope, that'd be about thirteen and a half feet.

Mazin: Math scholar...

Davis: Russell picking up Togo, and he's signalling...could this be the first finisher of the night? Russell hooks him across the clavicle...Uranagi!

White: It's just a lift and throw for Russell and then Togo X is out!

Mazin: Russell's got him up...

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Psycho Man by Black Sabbath begins to play, and a banged-up Nameless Tragedy walks out. He gets into the ring just as Russell throws Togo over the top and the music cuts>

Smith: Togo X has been eliminated!

White: I can't believe Tragedy is still walking after that absolutely brutal match he had with Ian Bradley earlier in the night! He was piledriven onto a car, for crying out loud!

Davis: That's what happens when you ask for falls-count-anywhere.

Mazin: I loved how Garrett Kulash was laughing so hard that he could barely count the pin. That guy loves his ultraviolence.

Davis: Russell's going to let Tragedy work over Classon now, and he's doing a good job of it right now. Classon taking a few shots to the ribs, and that's gives Russell the chance to just sit back and enjoy the beatdown!

White: Russell now walking over, and...he threw the Nameless Tragedy square into the turnbuckle! What the hell was that all about? Russell is working on the man who was helping him out?

Mazin: Russell lifts Tragedy up...another superplex? Tragedy is 250-plus! Does he have the strength to do this?!

Davis: Russell now looking at the middle rope, and now to the fans...he's point up?! He's asking the fans if they want a top rope superplex!

White: The fans are cheering him on, and he's getting up top...wait...Tragedy punched him in the gut! Tragedy lifts Russell...gourdbuster onto the ring mats below! Russell landed on his face! Russell rolling over to his back, and tragedy leaps, connecting with a kneedrop to the forehead! Classon is up on top, signalling to the crowd! Classon leaps...pulls himself into the shooting star press...and now the extra 90 degrees...legdrop! Classon just his the Decapitator on Justin Russell!

Davis: If this was a regular match, Classon would be able to eliminate Russell by pinning him, but this isn't a regular match!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Mazin: And here comes, of all people, Surge. Surge sprints down, jumps in, and is promptly clothesline over the top rope by Tragedy. Surge never was good at this battle royal stuff.

Smith: Surge has been eliminated in record time!

<"The Beginning of the End" by Rob Zombie begins to play>

White: What the hell? Surge was #12! Who is this?

Mazin: The lights are flashing on and off...almost like strobe lights...something's happening, Steve.

Davis: NIGHTSTALKER!

White: What?!

Davis: The Nightstalker! He's here! And this time, it's not me!

Mazin: A large figure has grabbed Surge, and has power bombed him onto the floor here in the Superdome, and this crowd has gone absolutely nuts! If this wasn't a football stadium, you'd think that would have dented the concrete!

<The figure disappears, the lights return to normal, and then, the music cuts>

White: The Nightstalker has returned to the NACW!

Davis: Yeah, but the last time the Nightstalker was here, he was me! Who the hell is that?

Mazin: Meanwhile, Tragedy and Classon are fighting it out, as an unconscious Justin Russell is out in the center of the ring. That's messed up...I have no idea what happened.

White: An EMT team is helping Surge out of the arena, and surge is just now getting up. I guess it's a miracle he wasn't hurt.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins to play>

Mazin: Kevin Hall! The great one is on his way to the ring!

Davis: I thought you liked Michael Cabster.

Mazin: i do, but Hall is pretty damn cool.

White: Hall walks down to the ring, as the former four-time HWA World Champion is looking to recover from a horrible slump...one that's lasted since the HWA died about a year ago.

<The music cuts>

Davis: Hall hasn't been the same since I roughed him up when I was the HWA World Champion as Jeremy Rhodes. Besides, he could never defend a title. He's nearly worthless.

White: Hall walks into the ring by stepping over the top rope, and he lifts Russell up. Hall with a kneelift to the gut...double underhook...lifts...Tiger Driver '91! Russell has been on the brunt end of two finishers within three minutes!

Mazin: Russell's holding his neck...I think he's hurt.

Davis: Tragedy lifts Classon up and blasts him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Both Tragedy and Classon are now on their backs, as Tragedy really hasn't recovered from that vicious brawl.

Mazin: On the other side, Russell is still hurting on the other side, and Hall doesn't really know what to do. He's helping Russell up now...and Russell takes him down with a lariat! That dirty, good for nothing punk was playing possum!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple begins to play, and Michael Cabster walks out. The fans are throwing various debris at him, and he slides underneath the bottom rope, nailing a forearm to Russell as the music cuts>

White: #14 is in the ring, and he attacks Justin Russell just as Russell was showing some offense. He was playing possum after getting nailed with the Tiger Driver '91, gaining himself some rest, but then Cabster started to attack him, and now, the two old-school @lliance members are taking apart the man who kept it alive in their absence.

Mazin: I always knew Cabby was going to be back and taking an opponent apart in that ring, and who better to start with than Justin Russell?

Davis: Classon getting some rest on the other side, as Tragedy has yet to get up after that tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. I've never seen so much energy sapped out of someone by dropping them on your knee.

White: Yeah, but Tony, he also went through a brutal fifteen-minute match and was piledriven onto a *car*.

Davis: Then I can see why he's hurting.

Mazin: Classon is back up, and he lifts up Tragedy with a back suplex, dropping him skull-first onto the canvas. Tragedy looks to be in some seriously bad shape.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" by the Offspring begins to play, which sends the crowd into a cheering frenzy. The doors slide open, and the "King of Violence" Garrett Kulash steps out, brandishing a Singapore rattan cane. He enters the ring, and the music cuts>

White: It's Garrett Kulash! With a weapon!

Mazin: He's a referee! He's not supposed to be in this!

Davis: Actually, Dan, with Chameleon's injury, they needed a 40th wrestler, and Garrett volunteered, on the premise that he would be allowed to carry a weapon!

White: And he's swinging that cane pretty well, too, as he's going after Kevin Hall and Michael Cabster! Russell and Kulash are friends backstage, so I'm not surprised to see Kulash helping out Russell!

Davis: Kulash nails Hall, turns around, and smacks Cabster! Hall is back up, and Kulash nails him! Kulash is pretty strong for a 5'7", 148-pounder!

Mazin: Why is this happening?!

White: Kulash nails Cabster in the jaw with the butt end of the cane, and that has Cabster reeling on the ropes! Hall is about to clothesline Kulash, who is facing Cabster, and Russell is getting back up! Hall charges at Russell, who looks quickly and grabs Kulash's shoulders! Russell dives down, pulls Kulash with him, and Hall clothesline Cabster over the top rope! Russell takes Kulash's cane and whaps Hall with it, and that sends Hall over!

Smith: Kevin Hall and Michael Cabster have been eliminated!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Ghetto Vet" by Ice Cube begins to play, and Ken Coffin strides down to the ring. He walks up the stairs, steps in, and his music cuts as Hall and Cabster walk away>

White: For those who have lost track of the count, that's the #16 entry, Ken Coffin. Russell helps Kulash up and hands him back the rattan cane, and now, Russell is going over to Classon and Tragedy, who are still a little woozy from their duel. Russell and Classon have been in this ring for nearly 30 minutes, which is incredible.

Davis: Russell lifts Classon up and hooks him in a reverse vertical suplex...lifts...nails him! Coffin has Tragedy and applies the front hook...Six Feet Under Spike! Coffin has just knocked Tragedy out cold!

Mazin: Tragedy is out cold. Maybe he should leap over the top rope and just end the damn match...

Davis: Of course, that's hard, considering he's out cold.

Mazin: You know what I mean...

Davis: When do you ever make sense, you idiot?

White: And Justin Russell has just picked up Tragedy, trying to lift that dead weight. He's got him propped up on the ropes, and Kulash is using that cane to try and push him over. Classon and Coffin are fighting on the other side, trying to get each other out.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

White: Former two-time United States Champion Jermaine Hester is making his way ringside for this battle royal, and he doesn't look like he's in too good of shape. Hester charges in and shoves the last part of Tragedy over to top rope!

Smith: The Nameless Tragedy has been eliminated!

Davis: We've got fight in the ring, as Justin Russell and Garrett Kulash have turned to double-teaming Jermaine Hester, and Ken Coffin has just been spiked with a double-arm facebuster.

Mazin: Classon picks up Coffin, and tries to lift him for a vertical suplex, but it's blocked...Coffin has him up...Six Feet Under Spike! Coffin just laid out Billy Classon with that Six Feet Under Spike!

White: Coffin picks up Classon and throws him into Kulash, which sends Kulash down to the mat and the cane goes flying out of the ring. Coffin grabs Kulash and tries for a Six Feet Under Spike on him, but Russell turns around and catches Coffin with a clothesline just in time.

Davis: Hester charges in, and tries to attack Russell from behind, but Russell spins around and lifts him up with a sidewalk slam!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Mazin: Here comes Pope Sixtus the Sixth, with an aggravated look on his face. he figured that he'd be doing a little better than he has so far in this federation, but so far, it's been a bumpy ride for him.

White: Sixtus is going right for Russell, and that's a mistake, because Russell boots him in the face, and we mean hard.

Davis: What's with all these people attacking Russell?

Mazin: Because he's been in there for nearly 35 minutes! He's tired! These young rookies want the chance to throw a guy like Russell out of the ring!

Davis: Well, if that's true, then why don't they go for Classon? He seems like an easy elimination, considering he's been in there as long as Russell.

Mazin: Well...

White: Classon is back up, and he's kicking Kulash hard with shots to the body and head, but Kulash is sneaking in some punches of his own, and Russell can't help him out, because he's occupied with Coffin, Hester, and Sixtus!

Davis: Those three have Russell at the ropes, and the have both of his feet off of the mat! That's it, Russell's out!

White: He's not out yet! He's still fighting, and he's swatted Hester and Sixtus off!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Mazin: Ugh...here comes "Mr. 1000%," Smoke.

<Longtime-HWAers should get that>

Davis: Smoke slides in, and he's getting into a little fight with Ken Coffin, while Classon has Kulash reeling at the ropes, and Hester just got knocked over the top by Sixtus, but then Russell nails Sixtus on the back with a knee!

Smith: Pope Sixtus the Sixth and Jermaine Hester have been eliminated!

White: 19 men have entered, and so far, five are in the ring. Coffin is having a little trouble with big Smoke, so Russell comes in and nails Smoke from behind! Coffin is trapped between the ropes and Smoke, so Russell lifts both out and they are gone! On the other side, though. Garrett Kulash just lost his fight with Classon and he has been superkicked over the top rope.

Smith: Garrett Kulash, Smoke, and Ken Coffin have been eliminated!

Mazin: I've got to give a hand to Garrett Kulash. He's not a formally trained wrestler, and he lasted 10 minutes in there with some great athletes. Provided, he had a Singapore cane, of course, but I'll spot him that.

Davis: It's amazing how fast thing can happen in this Rumble. About 45 seconds ago, there were seven men in that ring, and now, it's two men who are amazingly still in there after 38 minutes, Justin Russell and Billy Classon.

Mazin: And both are flat on their face, getting some rest before the next opponent comes out. I didn't think Classon was going to last this long, I'll admit. I didn't think Russell was going to be here either. This is a testament to their true stamina.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Davis: And it's about to get tested by...

Mazin, White, and Davis: Laserstorm?!

White: Laserstorm is making his way down to the ring! This man beat Kevin Hall three times, and then just disappeared! He beat Hall once, then eliminated him from the NACW World title tournament in the opening round, and then went on to beat Hall in a cage match!

Davis: So that makes him what, 3-194?

Mazin: Russell sits up, as does Classon, and Laserstorm is going to go for Classon first. Laserstorm lifts Classon up, sends him into the ropes, Classon ducks a clothesline, Laserstorm turns around, and is sent staggering by a Classon superkick!

White: Laserstorm stumbles back, and Russell is back up! He grabs hold of Laserstorm and plants him with an inverted Russian leg sweep!!

Davis: Russell gets him up, and he throws Laserstorm over the top!

Smith: Laserstorm has been eliminated!

Mazin: How?

Davis: How what?

Mazin: How are Russell and Classon still in there.

Davis: Don't know, Dan. Maybe they're tough. You want a Jolt?

Mazin: Sure!

<Davis reaches in and hands Mazin a Jolt. He pulls out a Dr. Pepper. The cans are popped open, and the two begins sipping their sodas>

White: We'd be calling the action if we could, but there is none to report. As you can see, Russell is sagged down in the corner, and Classon is face-first on the mat.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Mazin: Aw, damn. Here comes the most annoying wrestler possible, Flame!

Davis: I hate that guy, people. I was glad when he was ran off from the HWA, and I wish that he would stay away.

White: Flame is going straight for Russell, nailing him with kneedrops in the corner. Russell has taken an absolute beating in this match, and Flame attacking him doesn't exactly help his situation out any.

Mazin: Flame is backing off, standing in the center of the ring, showing off. Of course, you can show off when the only two men in the ring have been in there for 40 minutes and have taken beatings from 18 other men.

Davis: Classon slowly getting to his feet, but Flame nails him with a field goal kick, and Classon flies about three feet from the spot where he was kicked! Russell is back up in the corner, and he must be on his fourteenth wind right now.

Mazin: Flame points at Russell, and charges in, but Russell gets the foot up and boots Flame right in the head! Flame staggering back, Russell runs out, and blasts him with a tremendous forearm smash!

White: Russell back up on his feet, and Flame is in trouble! Flame is back up, and Russell is peppering him with fists!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana begins to play>

White: And at #22 is the NACW World Television Champion, Ian Bradley! Of course, the New Jersey Nets can't been too happy with him, what with Jayson Williams getting jumped by Dennis Rodman earlier.

<Bradley walks down the ring, with the Television title slung over his shoulder. Since managers were barred from ringside, Rebecca Bradley isn't with him. He places the title belt on the apron and walks into the ring as his music cuts>

Mazin: Bradley is going right for Flame! Bradley is nailing Flame with some hard punches. Bradley lifts up Flame and nails him with a vertical suplex! Bradley off the ropes, and executes a nice looking splash!

White: Bradley's a little worse for wear as well, what with that falls count anywhere match taking a lot out of him as well, but he's also had a lot of time to recover. Bradley has Flame up in a military press, and he sends Flame flying to the outside!

Smith: Flame has been eliminated!

Davis: Bradley is now turning his attention to Russell, who is still standing in this match. Russell and Bradley are having a little staredown, and Classon is back up. It's a three-way staredown now...

White: Classon attacks Russell, and Bradley...Bradley attacks Classon?!

Davis: I thought Bradley hated Russell!

Mazin: So did I!

White: Maybe Bradley wants Russell to himself! Classon is getting beaten down with sledges! Bradley is working over Classon's back, using that 120-pound weight advantage!

Davis: Russell's just watching this, and he grabs a hold of Bradley's head, pulls him up...skullbuster! Russell's saving Classon!

Mazin: Russell looks over at Classon, who is on the mat, and he looks over at Bradley. He's going to stomp on the both of them!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Turniquet" by Marilyn Manson begins to play>

White: Here comes one-half of the NACW World Tag Team Champions! We just don't know who!

<Kenny Smith then charges out without his half of the NACW World Tag Team titles. Smith slides underneath the bottom rope and starts attacking Bradley with several stomps. The music cuts>

White: Kenny Smith, one-half of the World Tag Team Champions, is pounding on the Television Champion, and Russell is working over Classon with a brutal series of stomps! On the other side, Smith is knelt across Bradley and is hammering him with punches!

Mazin: Russell has stopped attacking Classon, and he's gone over to the corner...he's got Ian Bradley's Television title belt! What the heck is this all about?

Davis: Russell has the title belt, and he has smacked Kenny Smith across the back of the head! Smith's lights have just been turned out! Classon is back up, and Russell plasters him with the belt! That red leather strap, with a gold buckle and nameplate, that's about 15 pounds of gold right across the forehead!

Mazin: Bradley's getting up, and he snatches the belt away from Russell! Bradley goes to kiss the title, and Russell plants a big boot right to the belt, which causes the belt to smash into the face of Bradley!

Davis: That's not real smart. He's got all three men down, sure, but how is he going to get a 300 pounds of dead weight in Ian Bradley over, or 275 pounds of Kenny Smith?

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Chocolate Salty Balls (P.S., I Love You)" by "Chef" Isaac Hayes begins to play, as the other half of Sex & Violence, Damon Harris, sprints out to the ring. He is wearing the trunks similar to Yaz Rocker's. The music cuts as he gets into the ring>

White: That's how! He's getting a brother-in-law to help him out! Smith is getting pulled up by Harris, who is getting some help from Russell. Harris has Smith up, placed on the ropes, and Harris is struggling to get a leg up, but Russell isn't helping him! He's attacking Bradley! He's dropping knees on the forehead of Bradley!

Mazin: Russell gets Bradley up, and Bradley is being placed on the top turnbuckle! Russell is climbing up after him. Russell cinches him up...superplex!

Davis: That's the third superplex in this match!

Mazin: It's also been over 45 minutes!

Davis: Classon is back up, and Harris is still struggling to get Smith over...he leaps up...double dropkick! He just knocked out both Harris and Smith!

Smith: Damon Harris and Kenny Smith have been eliminated!

White: Russell's holding the back of his head. He looks like he smacked his head on the canvas when he superplexed Bradley over the top rope.

Davis: Classon is up on the top rope, with both Bradley and Russell within range for the Decapitator, but who is he going to deliver it to?

Mazin: He's going to deliver it to both!

Davis: Classon leaps off, pulls himself all the way through, and...and...lands it! He smacked both Russell and Bradley with the Decapitator!

Mazin: Russell's out for sure. He can't take much more of this.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

White: And down to the ring comes The Cobra, who has a bit of a speech impediment.

Davis: You mean sssssssssssssssssssspeech impediment. Either way, he's walking into the ring, and he takes an immediate superkick from Classon that sends him over the top rope just as soon as he comes in!

Smith: The Cobra has been eliminated!

White: Well, that didn't take too terribly long.

Mazin: Can you imagine what it must be like to be the Cobra? Wake up, drunk beer, then stumble to the arena, go out, lose in ten seconds, say, "Shit, it's time to drink!" and then return to your hotel room and drink until you pass out in a pile of your own puke.

Davis (with sarcasm): Thank you for that lovely mental image.

Mazin: You're welcome.

White: Classon is delivering some soccer kicks to Bradley's head, yelling at him to get up. Bradley is rolling over, trying to get up, and Classon leaps on his back, applying a sleeperhold. Give Bradley a pillow and a blanket, he's going to sleep!

Davis: But wait a second...Bradley may be going out, but if he does, then he's going to squash Classon in a corner!

Mazin: Bradley walks around with Classon, and he slams him into the turnbuckles! That had to hurt!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Davis: And here comes the former butcher of the NACW, Meat Cutter. He's not much of a wrestler, but he can cut a fine steak.

Mazin: What do you mean by that? He would just walk a cow past and hack off as much meat as possible with a cleaver!

White: Cutter is in the ring, and he's going to work on Bradley, who still has Classon pinned into the corner! Cutter is nailing a few elbows to the jaw!

Davis: Classon drops to the canvas and is trying to sneak through the legs of Bradley, and he's nearly made it, but Cutter kicks him in the back of the head.

White: Classon looks to be in some serious trouble, as does Russell, who is stirring in the center of the ring. Both of these men have been in for about 50 minutes, and we are nowhere near the end of this match yet.

Mazin: Cutter is in the center of the ring, showing off to the crowd...he charges in, Bradley moves, and Cutter nails the running avalanche onto the turnbuckles as well as striking his forehead on the ringpost! Bradley gives him that little extra shove and...he's out! Meat Cutter's out!

Smith: The Meat Cutter has been eliminated!

Davis: We are about ten seconds away before #27 will enter.

White: All three men are sucking a little wind. Bradley went through a hellacious match earlier, and both Russell and Classon have been in that ring for 50 minutes right...now.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

White: And Steve Melde, formerly one-half of the NACW World Tag Team Champions, by some miraculous fluke, the Love Makers, is on his way to the ring. He's getting into the ring, and wouldn't you know it, the first thing that happens when he gets into the ring is that he breaks into pelvic gyrating!

Mazin: And then he gets nailed with Ian Bradley's left arm, which results in a clothesline, which sends him over the top rope.

Smith: Steve Melde has been eliminated!

Davis: This doesn't exactly strike me as a great entrant. Tell me again why we made this a 40-man instead of a 30?

Mazin: Hell if we know. We're just the commentators.

White: Bradley is going to pick up Classon and possibly try to throw him over the top. Bradley whips Classon across, attempts a hiptoss, and it's blocked. Classon tries a hiptoss of his own, but that's blocked. Bradley tries another hiptoss, but that's blocked, and then Classon is near the ropes, and he heaves Bradley up...and over!

Smith: Ian Bradley has been eliminated!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

Davis: Guaponess!

White: And Guapo Miguel comes in at #28! Guapo has put on a lot of weight since his two weeks in the GWC, and now's his big chance to get his hands on Justin Russell again!

Mazin: Russell is back up, Miguel gets in, charges at Russell, and Russell lifts him up and slams him down with a brilliant powerslam!

White: 52 minutes for both Russell and Classon. Classon is standing in the upper right corner, barely, and Guapo is convulsing on the ring mat. Russell, meanwhile, is standing in the center of the ring, looking down at Guapo.

Davis: Miguel is back up, he charges at Russell, but Russell ducks underneath the clothesline, Guapo turns around, and he gets met with a clothesline that sends him down to the mat, and we mean *hard*!

Mazin: Guapo is being propped up on the ropes, Russell rares back, and boots him square on the jaw!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins to play, as the fans explodes into boos>

Smith: Guapo Miguel has been eliminated!

<Shaun McWhirter pops out from the back and quickly makes his entrance to the ring. His music cuts>

White: And Shaun McWhirter is in the ring. McWhirter went through a rough match with Antonio Castillo, and now, he steps in at #29. However, he predicted that if Classon was in the ring when he got in, then Classon would be dead.

Mazin: And why not? After all, Classon's been in for the last 54 minutes, and he looks half-dead in that ring already.

Davis: McWhirter is showing off, talking some trash now to Classon. He's drawing Classon into the center of the ring, and Classon is taking him up on the offer! McWhirter swings a punch at Classon, but Classon ducks underneath it and grabs a hold of the arm, twists it quite hard, and then applies a war special on McWhirter! McWhirter's not talking too much trash now, is he? He's screaming in pain!

White: Classon has McWhirter in a war special, and McWhirter would be tapping out if this wasn't a battle royal!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie begins to play as the crowd explodes into boos>

White: And here comes "The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes! I think the fans aren't booing him as much as they are booing his ring attire.

<Rhodes is slowly walking down to the ring, however, his regular blue tank top with a white star in the center has been replaced with an old Spice Girls shirt with the sleeves cut off. The rest of his attire is normal. He slides into the ring and his music stops>

Mazin: And we now have four people in the ring, as Shaun McWhirter has been locked in a war special by Billy Classon, and Justin Russell is unleashing a little revenge on Jeremy Rhodes for what he did to him two weeks ago on Slam Masters.

Davis: Good. I'm glad that the little punk is getting the tar beaten out of him. Russell lifts him up and blasts Rhodes with a side slam that could truly knock someone out!

White: Classon is stretching back even harder on that war special hold, and he could be doing some serious damage to the shoulder blades! Classon is yanking back, and McWhirter is in major trouble!

Davis: Russell lifts up Rhodes in a military press...and drops him down onto Classon and McWhirter, which causes a break on that war special!

Mazin: McWhirter's been turned into a gimp! Rhodes has McWhirter's hair, and Russell sledges Rhodes from behind, and then blasts McWhirter with a kneelift that sends him to the canvas. Russell and Classon have now been in for over 57 minutes, and they could very well reach the one-hour mark.

White: Russell has Rhodes up on the top turnbuckle, and I smell a fourth superplex coming! Russell cinches in, lifts, and there's the drop! Rhodes falls about 12 feet before smashing into the ring mat!

Davis: McWhirter is trying to get some lift back into his arms, but it's failed so far. Classon leaps up and chucks him with an incredibly hard kick right between the shoulder blades, and McWhirter has crumpled to the mat, screaming in pain.

Mazin: I haven't seen him scream this much since he was sucking Tyler Odyssey's tongue a long time ago.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Get What You Give" by the New Radicals begins to play>

White: The Light Heavyweight Champion is about to make his appearance at #31!

<With that, the Blue Streak runs down to the ring and slides underneath the bottom rope. The Light Heavyweight title is left at ringside as the music cuts>

Mazin: Light Heavyweight Champion, the Blue Streak...

Davis: The Cold Nudist...

Mazin: Is in the ring, and he's pounding away on Shaun McWhirter! McWhirter is now taking a pounding from both Streak and Classon, and Russell whips Rhodes right into McWhirter! McWhirter is over the top, but he's hanging on for dear life!

White: yeah, but those shoulders can't hold up much longer! Rhodes dropkicks McWhirter in the face, and then Streak hits a shoulder! McWhirter lets go!

Smith: Shaun McWhirter has been eliminated!

White: McWhirter just got slapped into Classon's war special hold, and he couldn't hold on much longer. The way I see it, McWhirter came in cocky and walked out humbled.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "The Death March" starts, and Death Master stomps to the ring to a chorus of boos. He steps over the top rope and the music stops>

Davis: You've got a three-way light heavyweight fight on the left side of the ring as Streak, Rhodes, and Classon are trading blows, as Russell and Master are fighting on the other side.

White: With the entrance of Death master, that marks Justin Russell and Billy Classon being in the ring for a whole hour. they started the battle royal, and they haven't been close to being eliminated yet.

Mazin: Russell is whipped across the ring, and he catches the business end of a rough Master clothesline. Master lifts him up by the dreadlocks, and Master hits Russell with a side slam.

Davis: Rhodes and Streak are brawling it out near the ropes, and Classon lifts both of them up. Streak kicks Classon in the chest, and that helps Streak out, but it now gives him the advantage over Rhodes! Streak pushes down on the head, and Master comes over...and tosses them both out!

Smith: Jeremy Rhodes and the Blue Streak have been eliminated!

White: Master is looking down at the two light heavyweights, and Classon snaps him in the back of the head with an insiguri! Russell walks over, in a dazed state, and pushes Master over the top rope!

Smith: Death Master has been eliminated!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Turniquet" by Marilyn Manson begins to play as the other half of the Cult, Harbringer, walks down to the ring. He leaps up on the apron, climbs through the ropes, and the music stops>

White: And #33 is the other half of the NACW World Tag Team Champions, Harbringer!

Davis: Harbringer charges at Russell who ducks underneath a clothesline, and Classon gets mowed down by the clothesline! Harbringer turns around, and Russell blasts him with a clothesline! Harbringer is back up, and Russell lifts him up with a hard suplex.

Mazin: Harbringer scrambles to his feet, charges at Russell, Harbringer attempts a boot to the jaw, but Harbringer ducks underneath! Harbringer turns around and lifts Russell up with a bodyslam! Russell landed flat on his back and is convulsing on the mat!

White: Russell has got to be tired! Classon is back up, and he's nailing Harbringer with some hard kicks, trying to get him down with ease, but it's not working. Classon is delivering some high-impact kicks, though, and he's extremely dazed! Classon leaps up and nails Harbringer with an insiguri underneath the chin that lifts him off of his feet!

Davis: Classon leaps up onto the middle rope, and he drops a hard elbow to the forehead, that has Harbringer nearly out on the mat!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Fixxxer" by Metallica begins to play, and Jojo Fireball sprints down to the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope and causing his music to stop>

White: And we are nearing the home stretch as #34, Jojo Fireball, is in the ring, getting into a fight with Harbringer, which gives Russell and Classon some well-earned rest, but they are going at each other! Russell is delivering forearm smashes to Classon while Classon nails Russell with kicks, and Harbringer is in a fistfight with Fireball!

Mazin: Harbringer with the clear advantage, and he nails an exploder clothesline that sends Fireball over the top rope and crashing to the floor! Ha! He didn't last long!

Smith: Jojo Fireball has been eliminated!

Davis: And Harbringer is now turning his attention to "Big Dog" Justin Russell, who is leaning on the ropes at this point in the battle royal. Harbringer blitzes in with a diving should tackle, but Russell moves, Harbringer flies over the top turnbuckle, and Russell gives him that last little push to send him over and make him hit the floor!

Smith: Harbringer has been eliminated!

White: And we are back down to the original two, but not for long...

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! No music, as Fireball Michaels charges down to the ring and attacks Classon>

Mazin: Ugh. Fireball Michaels has entered the ring. I remember the last time he was here in the NACW. He lost one match and then quit because he thought that he was too good for this federation.

White: Classon is going to handle Michaels in the center of the ring, and Michaels is taking several kicks to the rib cage, and now a spinning savate kick sends Michaels tumbling to the mat.

Davis: Michaels gets back up, but Classon snaps him down with a leg lariat that nearly takes him out of his shoes. Classon whips Michaels near the turnbuckle that Russell is standing in, and Russell nails a spinning heel kick!

Mazin: Russell has knocked Michaels down on his ass! Russell picks Michaels up, lifts him up in another military press, and heaves him over the top to the floor!

Smith: Fireball Michaels has been eliminated!

White: We're five men away from the end of this match, and we are still with the original two men in the ring!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

White: No music, and here comes Cardinal Syn. Another thrilling entry into this battle royal...well, not really.

Davis: Syn is going right for a tired Classon, and he's pounding away on the small Classon, but Russell charges over and heaves him over the top rope and quickly eliminates Syn!

Smith: Cardinal Syn has been eliminated!

Mazin: Russell's looking at Classon now, just trying to figure out some sort of idea, whether to rest or try and eliminate the exhausted Classon.

Davis: Russell's choosing to take a rest, and I think he thinks that someone else will come in and dump Classon. At this point in the battle royal, they've been in for 65 minutes, and they are tired. The key to winning one of these things is getting as much rest as possible. If you have been in there for a while, and your opponent can barely stand, then just kick back and relax.

White: Russell slouching in the corner, and Classon is holding onto the ropes with as much tension as he can.

Mazin: Can you blame him? He's been in there for an awfully long time!

White: Russell has slid out underneath the bottom rope, and he's rummaging around in our cooler...he's getting himself a refreshing bottle of spring water, and now he's returning to the ring, taking some sips out of the bottle, getting a little bit of energy as he takes a little break.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Enter: Sandman" by Metallica begins to play, and Darkfire walks down to the ring by himself. He enters the ring and his music cuts>

Davis: Amazing! Darkfire can actually walk around without a group of thugs to protect him!

White: Darkfire is looking at Classon, and he's about to go after him, but Russell just smacked him with that closed bottle of water! Russell only drank about an eighth of that bottle, and he has smacked Darkfire in the back of the head with that bottle!

Mazin: Russell is mugging him with that bottle, slamming it down on the back of the head! Russell is working as hard as he can!

Davis: And a fan who caught Garrett Kulash's Singapore cane has just thrown it back inside the ring, and Billy Classon is the one who caught it! Classon rears back, and...thwack! Russell collapses like he was hit by a ton of bricks!

White: Russell has saved him several times in this battle royal, and that's the thanks he gets?! A Singapore cane shot to the head?! Classon picks up that water and throws it out into the crowd, and now, he's blasting Russell with repeated cane shots! Who knew that this match would be this vicious?!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!>

White: And Tom Jury enters at #38, and that means we've still got Eddie Deegan and that mystery wrestler coming up.

Mazin: Smart thing by Tom Jury, as he's avoiding the cane shots from Classon, and he's going right for a prone Darkfire, who is in the corner. However, Darkfire catches him in the jaw with the point of the elbow.

Davis: Darkfire lifts up Jury and easily disposes of him.

Smith: Tom Jury has been eliminated!

Davis: Classon is pounding on Russell with those shots, and...Russell is getting up! Is Russell getting back up?

Mazin: Justin Russell is damn near indestructible!

White: Russell's getting up! Russell is telling Classon to bring another shot! Classon swings just about as hard as he can, and...

<THWACK!>

White: That cane broke in half over Russell's head, but Russell hit the deck as well! That cane has been demolished, and Classon is removing the remains of that cane from the ring.

Mazin: Russell is bleeding over his left eye, and he's been busted open pretty bad. That cut's not going to stop with a lot of pressure.

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace begins to play, and the arena fills with boos. Eddie Deegan then walks out to the ring, and jumps over the top rope to cause his music to stop>

Davis: Deegan and Classon high-five! Russell is down on the mat, and Deegan is propping him up on the turnbuckles, and those two, along with Darkfire, are going to basically beat the everloving crap out of Russell!

White: Darkfire is choking Russell with his boot, while Classon is delivering kicks to the ribs and chest, while Deegan is smacking him with punches to the face!

Mazin: This is a 3-on-1 unadulterated beatdown! The left side of Russell's face is now a mask of blood, and Deegan's fists are crimson, because Deegan's hard shots are busting open that cut even more!

Davis: Russell looks like he's about to pass out.

White: We are on 76 minutes for Classon and Russell, right...now. Here comes #40!

<HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN! Silence at first, and then, "Shoots and Ladders" by Korn begins to play>

Davis: "Shoots and Ladders?" Where have I heard that song before?

Mazin: I have no idea.

White: C'mon guys, think back...remember the APwC?

Davis: No.

Mazin: I think I was drunk the whole three seconds it was open.

White: What about the first GWC World Champion?

Davis: Holy shit...

<The door opens up, and who should walk out but the one and only...JASON "ICEFIRE" DEEGAN! Jason walks slowly to the ring to a loud chorus of boos, and as he gets into the ring, he tells Classon, Eddie, and Darkfire to let Russell go. The music stops>

Davis: I thought Jason Deegan was injured! Justin Russell broke his back!

White: Yeah, but now, he's back! Darkfire is patting him on the back, and Jason boots him in the gut! Jason lifts him up...Dances With Icefire! Orange Crush Power Bomb by Jason Deegan! Classon and Eddie lift Darkfire up and get him out of the ring, over the top and to the floor!

Smith: Darkfire has been eliminated!

Mazin: Russell is almost out, and Jason more than likely wants to have it this way! Jason slaps on the Give It Up, and he's about to put a stop to this match! Jason has Give It Up on Russell, and Russell can barely move!

Davis: Classon and Eddie are kicking Russell while Jason holds him down in an unfortunate position for Russell. Wait a second...Russell's doing his Curly Howard impression! He's walking on the ring mat while on his side, and he leg sweeps both Eddie and Classon to the mat!

Mazin: Is this guy Superman?! Somebody get some Kryptonite!

White: Russell lifts Jason up, and slams him into the turnbuckles! That'll break the hold!

Davis: Eddie charges at Russell, and Russell catches him! Russell throws Eddie right over the top rope, and Eddie slams right onto the floor!

Smith: Eddie Deegan has been eliminated!

Mazin: Russell is taking everything anyone could throw at him, and now he's absorbing punches from Jason Deegan! Deegan bounces off the ropes for a clothesline, and Russell boots Jason over the top rope!

Smith: Jason Deegan has been eliminated!

White: Russell turns around, and looks at Classon with a look that would scare Christopher Walken! Russell is glaring down at Classon!

Mazin: A fan has jumped the guard rail, and the Deegans are still at ringside, fighting off the security guards who are trying to remove him from the premises. He's dressed in a business suit, though, and he's got a cellular phone with him.

Davis: He just chucked the cell phone at Russell!

White: Russell turns around and looks at this fan...wait a second...that's no fan...that's Jimmy Maxim! Jimmy Maxim is here! Jimmy Maxim used to manage both Russell and Classon!

Davis: Russell is going to talk to Maxim over at the apron, and Maxim punches him! Maxim just smacked Justin Russell!

Mazin: Classon turns him around, nails him with a superkick, and he's about to go over! Maxim has a hold of Russell's dreadlocks! Russell is halfway over the top rope, and both Jason and Eddie Deegan are helping Maxim out! They are pulling as hard as possible...they've almost got him over...

White: Classon winds back and delivers one more superkick! That's finished the job! Russell, with the Deegans and Jimmy Maxim in tow, has fallen to the floor! Both feet have touched! We have a new World Champion!

<The bell rings>

Smith: Justin Russell has been eliminated! Your winner of the battle royal, at a time of 1:19:27, and *new* NACW World Champion..."Superbeast"...Billy Classon!

White: This is a travesty of justice! Russell survived 38 men, but he couldn't survive Billy Classon because Billy Classon has help from three other men!

Mazin: This is beautiful! Classon is the champ!

White: This is the most ludicrous finish of all-time in this federation! Russell has Classon beaten, but Classon had the Deegans interfere!

Mazin: Shut up, Steve. We have a deserving champion.

Davis: Russell got screwed.

Mazin: It's about time!

White: We're going to now go to the Experience, who will be leading us out of the pay-per-view. Good night everyone, and thanks for watching Bad and Nationwide, brought to you be the Virtual Airlines News Flash!

<With that, we pan over to the stage. Ross Howard appears up there first>

Ross Howard: Ladies and gentlemen...THE EXPERIENCE!

<First, a small, white man with short blond hair appears. He is dressed in a R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 t-shirt and black Adidas windbreaker pants. That man is multi-instrumentalist J. Brian Carter. Following him is a bald black man, dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans. He steps behind the drums. That man is drummer Shawn Coats. Following, a young man with a shaved head, dressed in a blue "Big Dogs" shirt and blue jeans follows up and picks up a guitar, standing next to the saxophone. He is Mike Hyzwarski. After that, a long-haired rocker with a black leather jacket and blue jeans appears. That is Scott Beard. Finally, a small, skinny man appears. His long hair is parted in two directions. The left part is dyed pink. The right part is dyed red, with a blond streak in the front, a la Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell. He is wearing a Bio Hazard, Code Name: Veronica t-shirt and pink rubber pants. That is Paul Davidson. Coats bangs his drumstick together, and they begin playing. Most of the songs are covers, as they are a heavy metal/alternative cover band, for the most part. "My Name Is," which is an Eminem cover, is first on the playlist. Following, you have a Ben Folds Five cover ("Song for the Dumped") followed by a Method Man cover ("Judgement Day"). After that, there is a stream of original songs: "Friend in Need" (which was written six years before the Placebo song); "Blackmail"; "Jumping Jack is Smashed"; "Suicide is the Only Way Out"; and then, "Don't You Feel Stupid Now?" Finally, they move to "You Get What You Give," which is a New Radicals song. Finally, they bust into one of the best Megamix songs ever...

The NACW MegaMix!

The first song is "Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie, which is Jeremy Rhodes' theme. Following is the SNSM opening theme, "He Got Game" by Public Enemy. After that is an Experience song, "Crash Down the Doors," which is the new SNSM closing theme. One part that gets the biggest pop is "La Grange" by ZZ Top, which is "Big Dog" Justin Russell's theme. "Sunny Day" by Leah Andreone, Chameleon's theme, appears next. After that, "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace, Eddie Deegan's theme, shows up. The chorus of "The Ballad of Resurrection Joe and Rosa Whore" by Rob Zombie starts up, which leads to a mixed reaction for Billy Classon's theme. "Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple, Michael Cabster's song, is next. "Behold! The Nightmare" by the Smashing Pumpkins, which is for Antonio Castillo, is next. Follow that with Shawn Coats' theme, "Suicide is the Only Way Out" by the Experience. "Psycho Man" by Black Sabbath, for The Nameless Tragedy, is next. "Back on Earth" by Ozzy Osbourne, for Crash Domino. "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, Shaun McWhirter's theme, completes the "Ozzy Trilogy" of the MegaMix. "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" by the Offspring shows up as Garrett Kulash's theme. Finally, we get "End the Fucking Concert Already" by the Experience to close out the MegaMix. End transmission>

(c) Chris Crow Productions, in cooperation with RelisysNEC Sports. XIX. All rights reserved.