Wire Index...

#1: Red Leaf
#2: The Rebels
#3: The Flying Scotsman
#4: "The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes
#5: Bob Booreng
#6: Brian J. Blottie
#7: Rasta Farian
#8: Alan Soriano
#9: Mr. Faith
#10: The Crushin' Russian
==
==
RED LEAF



Red Leaf: Red Leaf.... Red Leaf is upset. Red Leaf isn't upset about
ditching the Rebels, they weren't Red Leaf's standards. They were
inferior to Red Leaf. Red Leaf though, care about that backstabbing
Crushin' Russian. Red Leaf thought Canada and Russia weren't enemies, but
from now on... they are. Red Leaf first, has to go through two men in his
home country in two weeks, in Calgary, Alberta. Red Leaf has to go
through Bob Booreng. Red Leaf thinks this guy shouldn't even wrestle. Red
Leaf also fight Rasta Farian. Both wrestlers were in the Rookie Rumble,
and both wrestlers truly, as Rebels are, inferior to Red Leaf. Red Leaf
believe truly that everyone is inferior to Red Leaf. Red Leaf don't care
about no one. Red Leaf don't care about people, Red Leaf don't care about
animals, and es-pec-ly not these rodents!



Red Leaf: Red Leaf don't care. Ha ha, Red Leaf don't care for nothing.
Red Leaf is going to put everyone straight from now on, Red Leaf is not a
'big baby,' but damn well sure is a big man, and Red Leaf will show you,
Bob Booreng, you, Rasta Farian and to all you idiots who thought Red Leaf
was no brain, but just all body, just all muscle. Red Leaf has both. Red
Leaf has a bit of a problem with saying a word, that's a letter long, but
Red Leaf prefer to speak in the third person.



Red Leaf: Red Leaf lives how he wants to live now. Red Leaf have no more
Rebel inferiors by his side, just one... Rebel... Red Leaf.



Red Leaf: Red Leaf should teach everyone what a true Rebel is. One who
stands alone, and refuses friendship from other. You two, Revenger and
Blood Boy are the exact opposite. You two rely on each other, you two
probably bathe with eachother, well at a young age.



Red Leaf: Red Leaf doesn't even know why he hung around you two so
called-Rebels.... Red Leaf is the size of both of put together. Well
maybe half of Blood Boy, but Red Leaf was the largest of the three. Red
Leaf mean, you two overuse the same little moniker every last line you
say! Red Leaf think saying stuff to excessively is a problem. Red Leaf
know, Red Leaf know. "Revenge is so bitterly sweet," Red Leaf clueless on
whatever that means! "Revenge is sweet" for Red Leaf, it'd be so much
more acceptable. Red Leaf don't know. Red Leaf think that you have no
idea what you're saying because, well, Red Leaf know you've been saying
the same line for so many years, but there's got to be a time when to
stop!



Red Leaf: Red Leaf want to say one last thing. Rasta, Booreng... you two
get to feel Red Leaf's new attitude, first. Clash of the Titans, here Red
Leaf comes.


==
==
THE REBELS



"FOUR-WAY TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH!
Sex and Violence (c) v. The Revenger and Blood Boy v. Mr. Faith and
Dudley Do Wrong v. The Ghetto Boyz"

The Revenger: Well. We've got our first title match, but I'll get to that
shortly. Red Leaf, we hope you accept, but we have a deal. We'll keep
away from you, if you keep away from us. We won't attack you, you won't
attack us.

Blood Boy: We've got Sex and Violence, which reminds me of a tag team
I've heard of before, Sexton Hardcastle and Joe E. Legend, I believe. I'm
sure these two are the same, as one is in the bigs now and the other is
making it there soon too. ((Actually, Paul didn't even know about the
Hardcastle/Legend team when he created his Sex and Violence, Damon Harris
and Yaz Rocker.  He only watches Japanese wrestling - SC))



Blood Boy: Mr. Faith and Dudley Do Wrong, the couple who attackedObediah
a few weeks back. We have seen what you can do, but we're not handcuffed,
and we're ready to kick your asses.

The Revenger: And lastly, the Ghetto Boyz, happily sitting in their big
houses while I'm speaking. Good for you, Ghetto Boyz.

Blood Boy: Basically, as we're still newbies here, we don't know
absolutely everyone here, we don't know all of the competition, but we
know its high and we're ready to compete with it.

The Revenger: Well we were ready 50 years ago, way before we were born.

Blood Boy: Yeah, that was like Hulk Hogan prime.

The Revenger: Well, ha.

Blood Boy: You know what?

The Revenger: What is it?

Blood Boy: Do we have anything else to say? I'm stumped.

The Revenger: I guess not. Revenge is so bitterly sweet....


==
==
THE FLYING SCOTSMAN

[The rain is pouring down after the NACW card.  The reporters are around
the back entrance, waiting for wrestlers to come out.  Suddenly, the
Scotsman comes out.  He still has that big gash where he was cut earlier.
Hes holding a piece of paper, and wearing only his kilt.  Hes in his
barefeet]

Reporter: "What was in that paper that Coats gave to you?"

Reporter: "How does it feel being defeated in the NACW?"

Reporter: "Its you vs your two friends in your next match!  How do you
feel?"

[Scotsman just stops, and looks at them.  Tears are rolling down his
cheek]

Scotsman: "Ya know...I thought I had friends in the NACW.  I thought
Jeremy Rhodes was my friend..I thought Brian Blottie was my friend..but
did you see what the hell happened? DID YOU? DID YOU?"

"You never saw.  You don't care.  You don't care about the Scotsman.
No-one cares.  I'm just an insane skirt-wearing faggot, right? C'mon, I
know you think that of me."

"Well you know what? Its time, its time that I take a stance.  I try
to..I try to make things good..and what happens?"

[Scotsman holds up the piece of paper that Coats gave him]

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.  DO YOU SEE THIS? YOU THINK THIS IS WISE?"

[Scotsman starts shaking his head and shaking his arms]

"They're all against me, everyone."

"I'm all alone."

[Tears fall off Scotsmans face again, and he goes back into the building,
yelling for an ice cream cone.]
==
==
"THE LOBO" JEREMY RHODES



"The Lobo" Jeremy Rhodes: What is it?  You want an interview?



Rhodes: Very unprofessional.  You're supposed to give me some sort of
hand signal, or something.  Don't shake the camera.  Oh, and Leah's not
here.  She's off getting the car.  Pardon me for a second, okay?



Rhodes: Tonight's show was something, wasn't it?  The return of Shawn
Coats and Jason Deegan, Chameleon breaking Dave Bean's hand in a car door
after stealing his wife, the card announced for Clash of the Titans...and
Brian J. Blottie bringing a midget to the ring and claiming that it's me.
 Oh, and then I walk down the aisle, kick the guy in the jewels, and then
grab a hold of those rings he keeps in his nipples, and giving them a big
yank.  I always wanted to do that.  I never could figure out how he got
those things through the lump of dried skin cells, and I think he
shouldn't wear them.  They look stupid.



Rhodes: It's kinda funny, what Brian was trying to do to me.  He was
trying to humiliate me.  He was trying to say, "that crazy freak Rhodes,
he's so insecure that he'll probably flip out because of this."  Well, I
didn't flip out...though something came "out," if you catch my drift. 
Brian, here's a little information for you...I can't really be
humiliated.



Rhodes: After all, I appear on national television every day wearing
women's clothing, right?  I wear skirts.  That's women's clothing.  I
also came on national television once saying that I was Xena: Warrior
Princess.  You think that's not humiliation?  You think that's not making
fun of myself?  Brian, I humiliate myself every day of the week, every
week of the month, and every day of the year.  However, I'm so used to
humiliation...so used to humiliation that it's a part of my life.  Why
else do you think I wear these skirts, aside from the fact that they are
comfortable and give a little room to move your legs around?  Sure, I'm
crazy, but that's not a part of it.  At least I don't exploit my
insanity, like some other crazy people do...Insane Wayne ring a bell?



Rhodes: Brian, this is what you really want, isn't it?  You think by
making me mad, by trying to humiliate me, you can get my title?  You
think that by trying to be my friend, you can set me up, and take my
title?  You think that by complimenting me, you can take my title?  It's
not going to happen, Brian.  Besides, that so-called compliment you tried
to give me, by saying that I like pain?  You think that's true?



Rhodes: It's not true!  I don't like pain!  Pain hurts!  Pain, taking
those bad pills, and falling on a kitchen knife, all of that stuff hurts!
 Just because I take a lot of pain in every day, that doesn't mean I like
it, and I can't believe that you tried to say that I liked pain!  That's
like saying that Shawn Coats likes members of the Ku Klux Klan, or that
Guapo Miguel is skinny!  You are so closed-minded that you are trying to
put things into the people's heads!



Rhodes: That hurts, Brian...that hurts.  Speaking of things that hurt,
the Flying Scotsman decided to betray me today, hitting me on the head,
thinking that you're helping Brian J. Blottie.  Scots, for week now, I've
been trying to tell you that Brian is using you, but instead, you insist
that he's your friend.  Scots, I have been your friend, I've watched out
for you, and you repay me by hitting me from behind?  The second you did
that, our friendship was over!



Rhodes: Jeremy Rhodes v. Brian J. Blottie v. The Flying Scotsman, on
April 14, at Clash of the Titans.  Winner gets the shot at Alan Soriano. 
Boys, you two can play the friend game all you want, but when it's over,
I'm going to get my hand raised.  In the ring and out...I have no
friends...I'm just alone in the world...me, my skirt, and my U.S. title,
and we're inseparable.  Oh, and Leah, too.  Where the hell is she?



==
==
BOB BOORENG

(Bob Booreng is in a reclining chair.  Every part of Bob�s body is
covered with bandages.  It rivals a seen from bugs bunny cartoons.)

CameraMan: Bob, you made a valiant attempt during the rookie rumble. You
made it much further than most reasonable people believed possible. You
were among the last 4 or 5 competitors remaining.  Although, I would like
to point out that you eliminated no one and were beaten severely most
people you came in contact with.

Booreng:  Do you have a question � or are you just here to mock me?  You
know what, you�re lucky I am too sore to get up.  Because, if I could get
up � you would be feeling a size 11 in your anus.

(Bob takes a deep breath and grimaces in pain.  He hasn�t shaven in a few
days and he stubble that beckons back to memories of puberty and
adolescence.)

Booreng:  I know how disappointed my fans are because I didn�t win. They
were so psyched during the opening bouts.  Did you hear the fans cheering
my name during some of the early matches?  That really got me pumped up. 
I wanted to go out and do my best�  [Sniff]  I have a chance at partial
redemption.  I can�t change the fact I was a non-winner in the rumble.  I
can make up for it though.

CameraMan:  Umm, how do you intend to do that?

Booreng:  I am in the three-way dance against Rasta and Red Leaf.  I will
be wearing my cowboy boots and doing the two step that night.  I have
taken swing classes too.  I can do a pretty mean electric slide. Have you
ever seen someone as ugly and uncoordinated as Red Leaf try to dance?  It
is not a pleasant sight.  So that means I need to be a better dancer than
Rasta.  He may have rhythm and style, but I am pretty fly for a
mostly-white guy.  I am gonna bring back the macarena baby!

CameraMan: You do realize three-way dance is only a figure of speech�

Booreng: come again?

CameraMan:  It isn�t a dance competition.  It is a match pitting you
three against one another.  Every man for himself.

Booreng:  You know I thought that a that sounded like a�. Umm, I knew
that.  I was just teasing you about the dancing. Haha!  Got you!

(CameraMan is walking away in disgust.)

Booreng:  Hey, where are going?  Hello?  Camera guy? [Sigh] Oh well� his
loss.  I am after all � the most galvanizing guy in sports internetment.
==
==
BRIAN J. BLOTTIE

*Open in the back, at a door with a piece of paper tacked to it.  On the
paper is scrawled "I AM a legend, damn it".  The cameraman's hand reaches
out in front of the camera, and opens the door.  Sitting down, rubbing
the back of his neck with his head down, is "The True Living Legend"
Brian J. Blottie.  A bandage is wrapped around his chest, over his
nipples.  Two blots of blood are seen in the places where Blottie's
nipples would be.  Blottie looks up, and smiles at the camera*

Blottie: Heh, you'd think I'd be pretty angry, having my nipple rings
ripped out.  But I've got to hand it to Rhodes.  He actually did show up,
even though I didn't think he would.  I didn't think he wanted to be
"blood brothers". But now I know he does.
   You see, Rhodes was late, and wasn't in the building when our match
was about to start.  I ran around, looking for him, when I ran into a
midget.  The midget looked poor, and very sad.  I asked him what was
wrong.  He said "I just need some change to make a collect call..."  Well
I, being the gentleman that I am, told him to dial 1-800-COLLECT.  It's
over 44% cheaper than calling collect!  He was so happy, so thrilled that
someone had helped him, he asked me what he could do for me.  That's when
I got the idea.  Since Rhodes wasn't there, I needed an opponent.  Well,
I think you can figure out the rest on your own...
   Nothing against the midget, but he was kinda puny.  I expected a MUCH
bigger challenge from him.  So I finished him off quick and easy.  That's
when Rhodes finally arrived.  Now I know, Rhodes probably assumed I was
trying to pull a fast one on him, and we exchanged a few words.  And I
slapped him.  But that was something that HAD to be done.  I learned that
after Dr. Lipshitz tried "curing" me.  I learned that the only way to
"cure" insanity is to make that insane person SO angry that he takes out
ALL of his insane urges on the thing he is angry at.  I may have been the
"guinea pig" in that little attempt, but it worked.  Rhodes sounded more
sane than he ever had.  
   That's also why I kicked the Flying Scotsman, my other "brother", in
the cahoonas.  He needed something to take out all that insanity on. 
But, I took care of that.  He took it ALL out on the ref, the ring
announcer, and the corner turnbuckle.  Better than him taking it out on
me, cause I was already hurting from Rhodes yanking out my nipple rings. 
Oh, and it doesn't hurt as much as everyone would think it would.  I'll
live.  Hell, I'll even get them repiereced, once they heal. 

*Blottie stands up, skips over to his locker, and then turns around,
slowly*

Blottie: I'm a very sick little boy.  It's that damn insanity... it's
spreading.  But I know how to control it.  I know how to get rid of it
now. At Clash of the Titans, the fans of the NACW are going to get to see
a cleansing.  But not a spiritual cleansing, as those, though
entertaining, are not real.  They're all for the money.  We're going to
REALLY get down to the nitty gritty.  We're going to have an insanity
cleansing.  Me, Rhodes, and the Scotsman are ALL going to be "healed". 
We're all going to be "saved".  And I'm going to be the "saviour".  
   I'm going to forgive Rhodes for his rash actions, for now.  Hell, I'll
even forgive The Flying Scotsman for getting involved in our match right
when I was about to make my big comeback.  But one thing that will be
apparent, very readily apparent... is that I'm not insane at all...

*Blottie smiles, then begins laughing*

Blottie: Seriously, I had you going BIG time, didn't I?  Heh, all of you
can be so stupid sometimes.  Rhodes, I DID try to avoid you, because
there was no reason for me to beat you bloody.  No title equals no match.
 As for the Scotsman... HA HA HA HA!  Man, it was fun using and
exploiting you while I could, but that's done and over with.  At the
Clash of the Titans, two titans are going to fall, and a legend is going
to prove his worth and bubble up to the top.  The winner of our match
takes on the World Champion at the next PPV. And the losers... they get
nothing but a beating and medical treatment in the back.  
   
*Blottie walks away from the locker, and towards the camera.  Blottie
stops a few inches out of the lens, a crooked, evil smile on his face*

Blottie: I'm "The True Living Legend", and damn proud of it.  Three men
will walk into Clash of the Titans, and a legend will walk out the
winner.  And if either of you two think I'm calling you legends... you
really have more screws loose than I thought.  As for us being "blood
brothers"... if after the match, you're still up for it, I wouldn't mind
a few men watching my back.  Hell, I'll even talk with Coats, and get you
two a tag title shot.  That's AFTER I win the World Title at the
pay-per-view.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to start training...

*Blottie lays down and begins to relax*

Blottie: Until next time...

*The camera fades to black*
==
==
RASTA FARIAN

(the camera focuses in on Rasta Farian, watching the footage of himself
being thrown over the top ropes in slow motion, over and over again)
  
Rasta Farian:  How could it happen, mon?  I was doin' so good!  That
damned Russian took me out!!!!!

Cameramon:  Cheer up Rasta Farian, you made it further than most of the
rookies!

Rasta: I ain't no rookie.....I'm just new to NACW.  I been fighting all
my life, mon.  Well, in life, you can't make every Bob Marley concert, so
I guess I can't win every match I wrestle.  That don't mean I'm gonna
roll over and die for every two bit no name dat tinks he can take me out,
mon.

Cameramon: You have an upcoming three way dance with Red Leaf and Bob
Booreng. What do you have to say about that?

Rasta: Dance?  I love to dance, mon!  Are we gonna be dancing to the
Reggae? I could bring Ziggy along and we'd be JAMMIN' !!!!  Those other
guys better not try to get too close to me, though,  or they'll be in
trouble.

Cameramon:  No, Rasta Farian......(sighs)  it's going to be a wresting
match between you and both Red Leaf and Bob Boring!

Rasta: OH!!! 'Den why didn't you say so in de first place?  Jeez, mon! 
In dat case, I got to say dis: Red Leaf showed me a lot in de Rookie
Rumble.  Only problem dere was he helped out Dudly dumb shit before the
deputy got thrown out.  I don't know where that stands with me, but you
have gained respect with me, mon.  Trust, no....Respect, yes....I'm still
not sure about his use of Bob Marley music......
Booering---what can I say, mon? You're boring! I'd make fun of you, but
it might be more effective to make fun of a brick wall, mon.   It would
probably give a more witty response than you, mon.
My fighting skills are not in question here, mon.  I'll take on anyone
that they put in front of me.
I do have one thing to say, though---SHAWN COATS--I saw you on the TV
wearing a fisherman's hat at Sunday Night Slam Masters....Do you even
know how to fish, mon?  If not, take off the damned hat and leave them
for the REAL fisherman. ((Yes, I know how to fish.  It's a hobby of mine.
 I even eat what I catch - SC))
Dat's all......I got to go and fish with Ziggy to blow off some
steam.............
(Rasta stands up and leaves as the camera fades to black)
==
==
ALAN SORIANO

(The scene opens in the locker room hallway at the arena where Slam
Masters was held. A group of wrestling reporters stands out, all in cheap
suits and accompanied by cameramen with various t-shirts on and boom mics
and cameras on their shoulders....They are standing outside a locker room
door marked with a star and a name underneath the star. The name is Alan
Soriano, the NACW World Champion. The door opens and Alan walks out,
wearing street clothes: A black jacket, white shirt, blue jeans,
backwards hat, and the NACW World gold on his shoulder. Behind him is his
lovely wife Alexa. He is stopped outside his door by this barrage of
reporters who start talking all at once. Alan looks around, and then
tries to restore some order...)

Alan:(Raising arms) Allright..ALLRIGHT! Unless you don't want a scoop
from the World Champion of the best federation around, you will back up
and give me and my wife some room to stand!

(The reporters back up..The questions begin)

Rep: Alan...Congratulations on your first title defense! Was it easier or
harder than you imagined?

Alan: Well, let me just say that for the whole match Shaun McWhirter was
matching every move that I could throw at him. In my opinion, the man is
a very talented wrestler. No bones about it. But, I said I was going to
beat him. And I did beat him. I know there are many naysayers in this
federation who feel that Alan Soriano will not be around for very long as
the champion. Well, to them I have only two words. "Watch Me."

(ANother reporter speaks up)

Rep: Alan...AT Clash of the Titans on April 14th, you have a rematch with
Billy Classon. Any thoughts?

Alan: Billy...You were the guy who I used to root for. The underdog. A
169 pound kid who went out there and gave his all against heavyweights,
lightweights, anyone. But lately, I have to say that I cannot feel that
way for you anymore. Ever since you turned on your friend Justin Russell.
Ever since you destroyed his groin the way you did. I have lost all of my
respect for you. All of it. Taking a man who is already down, a man you
were supposed to lose to, and completely destroying him, trying to
humiliate him. Very unnoble, and not very wise, Classon. At Clash, you
bring your little group down to ringside....Because right now, I am going
to ask two good friends of mine to be, shall I say, neutralizers.
Chameleon, you have been a great tag team partner, and a good friend. I
know you are going to be busy that night defending the Television title,
but I want you at ringside for my bout with Classon, to make sure the
match is fair and square. And Ban X. Congratulations on your win. You are
a hardcore individual. And, I would really appreciate you being at
ringside to make sure those two goons that accompany Classon everywhere,
his little "posse" does not make this a 3 on one matchup. I want this to
be a fair test of my abilities, to prove that I am indeed a worthy World
Champion. One last question, and then Alexa and I have dinner
plans...Yes?

Rep: Alan...Do you see any challenges past Classon?

Alan: Well, lets not over look Classon here. He is a great fighter.
Quick, agile, with surprising power. He can beat anybody. But, I will
make damn sure he does not beat me. I am trying not to look past Classon.
I like to stay focused on my opponent. But, if I were to pick one guy
that I would love to face, actually two. One, Jeremy Rhodes. I have
complete respect for the man and what he has done for the federation. And
two, a healthy Justin Russell. Although it may never happen, I still hope
for the day I can face this legend of the sport, holding the belt he
defended so well against myself and many others. I feel the pride of true
champions in this belt..And the stink of rotted pride in Classon.
Classon, come the Clash, I have just eliminated your outside
interference. It will be you, me, a ref, and plenty of intensity. And in
the end, when the smoke clears and all is done, I will rise from the
canvas battle field a winner. Holding this belt that I am so proud to
have. So Classon, you best train real hard, and punch some more heavy
bags son, because come the 14th, if you are not prepared, I plan to
destroy you. Mark my Words!

(Soriano rushes his way through the reporters, who still clamor over him
and ask questions...But Alan, leading Alexa through the hub bub, walks
away. FtB)
==
==
MR. FAITH

[The scene is back in Mr. Faith's gym in the basement of his church. He
is doing arm curls with some dumbells]
Reporter: Mr. Faith I just have a couple of questions for you, is it
okay?

Mr. Faith: Yeah(his voice seems somewhat depressed in between his heavy
breaths as he lifts the weights)

Reporter: Ok, first off what are your thoughts on the rumble? And what
are yourr thoughts on...(shuffles through some note cards) oh yeah um
your thoughts on Obediah pulling you out after he was eliminated by you?

Mr. Faith: Well, my thoughts on the RRII.(He puts the weights down at his
sides) I came into that rumble expecting a win or at least to eliminate
some guys, I guess I was wrong, I guess something went wrong or maube it
wasn't my lucky FUCKING DAY! When it comes to that piece of shit, mother
fucking, asshole named Obediah having to pull me out from behind I get
pissed off. I think it's funny(kind of chuckles to himself whil he has a
smirk on his face) that I get punched in the balls and then I get dragged
out of the ring from someone who was already eliminated and that very
asshole gets a match to become the #1 contender for the TV title, Huh and
I get a 4 corners tag match with someone I am not friends with and also
with 3 tag teams I have never heard of. 

Reporter: Sorry For interupting but it is for the tag belt though.

Mr. Faith: YEAH I know it is but I wanted to be a lone gun by himself and
I know it would be FUCKING great if I won that match with Dudley and
finally get some gold around my waist. If this is the bracket that the
NACW is going to let me succeed in than I am all for it. 

Reporter: What is your stance on Dudley Do Wrong?

Mr. Faith: As I said before me and him were in several indy's together
and we are not friends but we respect each other. I see him as a good
wrestler and a fine athlete if you could call him that. Clash of the
Titans those piece of shit tag teams are going to know what its like to
have your head squeeze against that mat and feel their brain press
against their skulls when I lay that Holy Driver down on them(He motions
all this stuff out with his hands). AND FINALLY FOR ANY OF THE OTHERS IN
THE FUCKING NACW THINKS THAT MR. FAITH IS NOT A TOUGH MAN OR FUCKING
HARDCORE, OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN SAY(he takes the barbell and chucks it
into the mirror in front of him completely destroying it and then as the
reporter is in shock he grabs him by his collar hoists him up in the air)
YOU TELL EVERY SINGLE ASSHOLE IN THE NACW THAT THIS TAG MATCH YOU WILL
SEE THREE TAG TEAMS FIGHT TWO OF THE MOST BRUTAL MEN IN THE WORLD
DESCIMATE THOSE TAG TEAMS AND THEY WILL FUCKING WIN THAT FUCKING BELT!
AND YOU BETTER TELL THAT BIBLE QUOTING BITCH OBEDIAH THAT THERE IS ONLY
ONE TRUE PROPHET AND IT AIN'T HIM, THAT PROPHET IS ME! I AM SEEKING
VENGENCE ON ALL THOSE WHO OPPOSE ME AND THIS WEEK ITS THOSE TEAMS, BUT
NEXT WEEK WHEN I GOT GOLD ON MY WAIST I'M GOING TO BEAT OBEDAIH'S SKULL
IN WITH IT.(he lets the reporter down and then Mr. Faith throws his hands
up in the air as he looks up at Heaven)THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE
APOCALYPSE'S POWER WILL BE INSIDE OF ME AT THE CLASH AND I DON'T CARE
WHAT DUDLEY DOES BUT I WILL BE WALKING OUT OF THAT ARENA WITH THE TAG
BELTS AROUND MY WAIST.(The rage in his eyes lower a littl as he stares
into the camera with pure intensity running through them)Destruction will
be had and slaughtering will be done and only one man will remain and
that man is MR.FAITH.

==
==
THE CRUSHIN' RUSSIAN

[scene opens in a fancy hotel outside of Vancouver.  The Crushin Russian
seated in a comfy lounge chair drinking a martini.  Around him are his
goons Vlady, Ivan, Mikhail, and Boris sharing in drinks and laughs as
well.  The cameraman from NACW approaches]

Cameraman:  Mr. Russian, how do you feel?

Crushin Russian:  A little woozy, but not from anything that happened in
the ring tonight.  [laughs, takes another drink].   

Cameraman:  I'll say, what a performance at the Rookie Rumble!  What do
you have to say about that?  

Crushin Russian:   Well, what can I say?  The same thing I've said all
along. I told you a week and a half ago I would destroy all of those
little women that got into the ring with me.  And I did.  Nothing too
surprising if youask me.  

Cameraman:  Not surprising?  That was one of the most dominating
performances in the history of the NACW!  You eliminated SEVEN MEN!!!!!  

Crushin Russian:  I told you it would be like tossing children around.  I
guess my rigorous training worked! [looks at Vlady and they all laugh]. 
You all underestimated me.  I never doubted that I would win.

Cameraman:  What do you think of Johnny Coast failing to compete?

Crushin Russian:  I respect Coast.  He at least has a good head on his
shoulders.  He was the only one smart enough not to get into the ring
witha competitor he couldn't handle.  The rest of the RRII people should
have followed his lead. 

Cameraman:  So what's next after your dominating performance?  Going to
disneyland again?

Crushin Russian:  F**k you and f**k your disneyland bullsh*t!  I'm going
to go prepare something real special for the next person who has to come
job forme. That's right, I have something special for you Intensity!

Cameraman:  Whoa, you're getting ahead of me.  What do you think of your
upcoming match with Intensity Josh Walters to determine the #1 contender
spot and a  chance to challenge for the title?

Crushin Russian:  First things first.  I think it's a joke.  Me, the
Crushin Russian, undefeated, unchallenged, RRII champion against lowly,
unrecognizable Josh Walters?  Coats needs to wake up and smell the Vodka
and see that he's wasting the NACW's premier talent against pathetic
jobbers.  

Cameraman:  But this is a match to determine the #1 contender, certainly
not just a mid-card filler?

Crushin  Russian:  This match is pointless.  Neither Walters or I should
be the #1 contender.  Walters gets a shot to be the number one contender?
 What a joke.  When does Guapo Miguel get his shot.  As for me, I am not
the #2 contender, I am not the #1 contender-I AM THE ONLY CONTENDER!  I
deserve my title shot NOW, without having to dispense with jobbers like
Walters, Rookie Rumble II, and who knows what else.  

Cameraman:  Aren't you looking past Walters a little?  He did have an
impressive match this weekend.

Crushin Russian:  It's pretty easy to look past Walters.  There's nothing
to look at.  Just another skinny little punk trying to make a living for
him and his wife.  Here to make a few bucks jobbing out to the big dogs. 
 I understand, Walters.   You should take care of that pretty little wife
of yours.  You can job for me any day.   As for your win this weekend,
remember, it was Rob Trainor.  Don't get too excited.  You will soon get
another taste of Real competition.  Remember the last time you faced real
competition?  Oh, you probably don't since you were hospitilized by Big
Dog Justin Russell. Well, schedule an appointment for the day we meet,
comrade, 'cause you will surely need all the medical attention money can
buy.

Cameraman:     Surely you don't really think Walters will just be out
there to job for you.  In a #1 contender match?  Walters is a legitimate
contender.

Crushin Russian:  Walters commanded at least some respect with the S.O.D
around to watch his back, but now, he's gonna have to settle for the
J.O.B. The only reason he's even in there is that someone has to do it. 
No one in the entire NACW can stand up to the Crushin Russian.  And I
mean NO ONE.  That means you COATS, and you, sorry ass SORIANO, pathetic
excuse for a champion, an embarrassment to the NACW, and you RHODES,
crazy ass bitch, and yes even BLOTTIE would crumble under the sheer power
and wrestling skill of the best technical wrestler you have ever laid
eyes on.  

Cameraman:  Now your just joking.  

Crushin Russian:  I'm not joking!  As soon as someone proves they can
stopme I'll shut up.  I'll take anyone�..anytime�..anywhere.  Put me in a
house show match against anyone, I don't care.  I will show you all the
pain of mother Russia.  [grabs a hotel bell boy and gorilla press slams
him].   Ahhhhh. Walters��NACW��Watch out!��Doomsday has arrived and you
will all feel the pain!

Cameraman:  OK?!  This guy is crazier than the Lobo.  Back to you Ross.