WIRE INDEX:

#1: Chris Widmayer

#2: The Crushin' Russian

#3: Big O

#4: Rasta Farian

#5: Chris Kitching

#6: Insane Wayne

==

==

CHRIS WIDMAYER

["Freebird" by Lynard Skynard is heard blaring in the background as a

camera zooms in onto a door. The door swings open as the music gets

louder and Chris Widmayer comes and pushes through the doors whiping the

sweat off his blood stained masked with a small towel. Chris walks back

out the doors as the camera follows him into a Banquet Hall packed with

around 400 people sitting around a ring. There is a man seen getting up

slowly in the ring covered with blood as Chris slaps hands with a few

fans and walks back through the doors into the backstage area. Chris

looks at the camera nods his head and speaks to the man approaching him]

NACW Interviewer(holding out mic): Hey Chri.......

Chris Widmayer: Who are you guys and where are your passes?

NACW Interview: Well Sir where here with the NACW.....

[The Interviewer reaches into his pocket and grabs two full access passes

and shows them to Chris]

Chris Widmayer(laughing): Yeah and your here why?

Interviewer: Well didn't you hear? Your set to wrestle Chris Kitching

next Wednesday at the NACW supercard. Its your chance to make a big

debut in the NACW....

Chris Widmayer(puzzled look): Chris who? I love the way I am informer

by the NACW. Oh well they decided they want ratings I guess huh?

[As the interviewer opens his mouth to talk Chris grabs the mic and

watches the comments Kitching made about him earlier. He then looks into

the camera]

Chris Widmayer: Who in god's holy name do you think you are? You walk

around with your plastic made valet and think you can come off running

your mouth like you own the place? First off buddy I want to let you

know that you go around calling all the people out you want but the way I

see it is your just another one of "them." You my friend break one

contract deal cause your dad knows the owners wife cause he slept with

her in high school. Hell I bet Scotsman could even land a hit with her,

but thats a story will get to later.

[Chris begins to walk to the parking lot as the camera follows him]

Chris Widmayer(smiling): Now I'm not gonna ramble on about how I am

gonna beat the snot out of you because, well come Wednesday you will know

that I don't have to talk the talk because I will walk the walk right

over you and we will wonder where the hell you went wrong.

[Chris gets into his 88 Pontiac 6000 Station Wagon and begins to back up.

He then haults the breaks and sticks his head out the window]

Chris Widmayer(yelling}: Chris I wanna let you know one thing my friend,

The bats in my hand pitch the ball when your ready. Only Question is can

you handle my hit?

[Chris pulls out his Barb Wired Covered Whooping Stick. He then looks at

the camera]

Chris Widmayer: Oh Yeah Chris I want to let you know that when I see

your little friend Vanessa I think to myself, Hookers are good because

dieseas's are curable, but your lady friend she isn't.

[Chris sits back in his car and squels away from the parking lot]

==

==

THE CRUSHIN' RUSSIAN

[the scene opens with a reporter and a cameraman walking peacefully

through a well attended shopping mall in downtown Vancouver. The

cameraman is obviously annoyed to have to search the mall for his

interviewee. As usual, the cameraman first sees the Crushin Russian's

sidekick Vlady dressed in his usual long black trenchcoat. [for those of

you who are confused, the Crushin Russian's name is Igor, Vlady is the

name of one of his goons--CR] They walk up to Vlady....]

Cameraman: Alright, comrade [sarcastically] where's the freakin

interview at?

Vlady: My friend, if you are hostile, there will be no interview, and

you will get to tell the boss you got nothing. Then he will will bend

you over the desk and make a man out of you.....or maybe that's just in

Russia. You can edit that.

Cameraman: Where the hell is this clown?

Vlady: He is getting a slushy, he will be here soon. Be patient my

capitalist comrade.

Cameraman: Why the heck does this piece of trash always keep us waiting.

It makes me sick. I'm gonna talk to Coats about this.

Vlady: Oh go ahead, talk to Coats. But I wouldn't suggest causing too

many waves, Crushin Russian isn't all that happy today.

Cameraman: Whatever.....

[Crushin Russian approaches, slurpy in hand]

Cameraman: There he is, about time!

[a little boy comes over and asks for his autograph]

Little Timmy: C..C....C....Can I have your autograph, mister?

Crushin Russian: [sweetly] Well, sure! [He takes the piece of paper,

puts it in his mouth chews it up and spits it in the kid's face]

[angrily] Go get the autograph of the frickin Easter Bunny [points to

the E-bunny in the mall] you piece of trash!

Cameraman: [aside] If I ever get big, I'm gonna kill this guy!

Crushin Russian: What did you guys want anyway?

Cameraman: You know the drill you ignorant bastard. Another NACW

sponsored interview.

Crushin Russian: You know what? I'm feeling nice today. I'll let that

slide. Next time, you won't be so lucky. Let's get this over with.

Cameraman: OK.......What do you think about Alan Soriano's recent

challenge to you for the World Title?

Crushin Russian: I think it may just be the opportunity I've been

waiting for. Things couldn't have worked out any better. I get my shot

to take the title early in my career, and I get to take the title from a

weak, whiny, momma's boy--Alan Soriano. He can try to Anal-drive me all

he wants, all he'll find is the best technical wrestler in this continent

and ever other. A lot of people, especially ignorant newcomers, make the

challenges that they are the best, they want their shot at the title.

Well, I'm not one of them. I'm for Real. I can back up everything I say

with brains, brawn, and pure wrestling skill. Watch and learn my

friends.

Cameraman: Whatever. Next Question. You mentioned the newcomers, what

do you think of newcomer Chris "the deal" Kitching?

Crushin Russian: Hahahaha.....I'm glad you asked. Normally, I don't

like to grace lowlife newcomer's like him with my presence, but I'm so

sick of his mouth someone has to shut him up. So Kitching, listen up,

I'm only going to say this once. Shut up. If you think you can march in

here and get a title shot in your first week, you've got a lot to learn.

If you think that two-dollar whore you hang out with can help you win,

think again. You claim to be "the deal", whatever that means, I don't

speak great English, but I know enough to know that you're no deal.

Whatever that means. The only dealing around here will be my dealing you

a whoopin, and dealing you a loss, if you're lucky enough to step into

the ring with me someday. Work on your game, maybe we'll talk then.

Cameraman: Uh-huh. What about your upcoming match with "Intensity" Josh

Walters?

Crushin Russian: We've been through this. We all know what's going to

happen. Walters is gonna get pummelled. He's just another jobber

stepping out on my run to the title. You'll see.

Cameraman: I'm not so sure, a lot of people are picking Walters to take

this one.

Crushin Russian: Yeah, I know. [laughs] A lot of people believe little

dolls can talk and they can ride on comets, too. That's about as likely

as a Walter's upset. But, I have something to say to you Intensity

Jo............[interrupted]

[the Easter Bunny comes over, with little timmy in tow, and starts

talking to the Crushin Russian]

Easter Bunny: [yelling emphatically] I don't know who the he......heck

you think you are, but this little boy says you spit in his face!!!!!

What do you have to say for yourself?!??

Crushin Russian: [chuckles, then spits in the face of the Easter Bunny]

Easter Bunny: You assh......jerk!!!! I'm getting security!

[The Crushin Russian, graps the Easter Bunny and lays down a reverse DDT]

there is a loud crash in the mall, and head turn immediately. The

Crushin Russian then picks the pain-ridden Easter Bunny off the ground,

lifts him above his head and tosses him into the mall fountain, where his

bunny suit gets all wet.]

Crushin Russian: [laughs] Any more questions? or perhaps you'd like an

autograph? [laughs]

Cameraman: What a f******r!!! Lets get out of here.

Crushin Russian: What did I tell you? [Crushin Russian grabs the

camera, hands it aside and throws the cameraman in the fountain with the

Easter Bunny.] [looks into the camera] Hey, You! NACW, watch out, I'm

coming, and I'm not stopping until I hold the title....all the titles.

That's my goal Blottie. To be a champion, not a titty suckin baby like

you. Just what I hate about you American hoes. You'll soon behold the

power of mother Russia. And tooth fairy, watch out. Talk to the Easter

bunny before you approach ME. [sees security] Well, that's my ticket to

leave. Send my best to commissioner Coats! [spits on lens of camera and

takes off]

[fade to black]

==

==

BIG O

<The scene opens at a small river near BF, BC. Big O is fly-fishing by

himself. He is wearing his orange hunting jacket, a PBR baseball cap,

jeans, and hip waders. He appears to be in deap thought (something

rather unusual for Big O). The camera slowly approaches Big O, who has

not noticed it yet.>

cameraman: <clearing his throat> Excuse me Big O, Runs-with-the-Pack

said that I might find you hear. Would now be a good time for an

interview?

Big O: <without looking at the camera> I guess no time is better then

the present, eh.

cameraman: First off, we haven't recieved an interview from you since

before last weeks SNSM. We did see you at the house show in Ottawa, but

other then that where have you been?

Big O: Well, after fullfilling my contract obligations in Ottawa, I

decided that I needed some time alone, eh. So, I got my camping gear and

left for the wild of British Columbia. Runs-with-the-Pack and Yukon Jack

weren't happy because they wanted me to train for Clash of Titans, but it

doesn't how physically prepared I am for my title shot if things aren't

ok up here, eh. <taps his head> So I decided to spend a little quite

time alone with mother nature, while I sorted things out.

cameraman: Big O, would you care to discuss any of the issues you were

dealing with this week?

Big O: I was trying to figure out what my problems in the ring have been

caused by lately. I look back at all the matches I've had so far in the

NACW and I'm wondering what the missing piece of the puzzle is. I

wrestled another great match last Sunday against my boss, but once again

I lost. Three times now, I've hung on until the end but not had my hand

raised, eh. First was the Rookie Rumble, when I was the last man

eliminated. Then I lost a very close match to Ban X. Then last week, I

couldn't finish Pants. The only victories I've had have come at house

shows. One over Bean and the other over Trainor. Bean is currently not

in the NACW and Trainor is on a losing streak. After I thought about it

for a couple of days I realized that I've been able to beat a couple of

minor talent rookies, but when I face someone of mid-card ability or

higher I haven't been able to win. All of my loses where hard fought and

might have gone either way. So what is the competitive edge that I am

missing, eh. I think I might have figured it out. I get too emotional

before I enter the ring. Each match I've lost was against an opponent

who pissed me off and made me angry at them. When I win, I don't have

that feeling of personel anger, eh. I think I've been losing because of

this lack of emotional control and mental preparation. My physical and

wrestling skills keep me in the match, but my brain lets me down. Well,

I hope that I have these issues worked out, and hopefully my solutions to

these problems are going to work. My only chance against a great

opponent like Chameleon is have all the pistons firing, eh.

cameraman: Before we talk about your T.V. title shot against Chameleon,

let's talk about your match against Mr. Coats. You to seem to have some

sort of bad blood, will this problem continue, and will you demand a

rematch?

Big O: <taking several seconds to think about his response> Well, first

off I think that my match against Commisioner Pants was excellent. I

thought that both of us wrestled very well, and that the fans were really

pleased by our performances. I think that the commisioner recognized my

abilities and that is why I will be receiving a title shot at the

upcoming supercard. There was bad blood between Shane and myself, but

now I think that is behind us, eh. I think that during our match we

developed some respect for each other. I know that he is a great

wrestler, and not just some rich baby. I respect the Boss and I hope

that he respects me. I still don't agree with how he runs the company,

but unless he asks for my advice I'll try to keep my big mouth shut, eh.

I would love a chance to wrestle Shane again, but I have to worry about

my match against Chameleon before I think about any rematches.

cameraman: Speaking of Chameleon, what are your thoughts on your

upcoming title bout?

Big O: <taking a deep breath> Well, I am very excited and pleased by my

shot at the NACW T.V. title. I didn't exspect to have a chance at any

gold this early in my career. I'm going to give this match everything

I've got. I will be more prepared for this match than any other so far

in my career, eh. You will see a new, focused, Big O. My opponent is of

top notch quality. I'm not sure why he dresses is girls clothes, and his

hair color kind of confuses me, eh. But, he probably doesn't like my

hunting vest. Chameleon is a great wrestler and will prove to be a great

challenge. It should be an exciting match. I think all the NACW fans

are really gonna enjoy our battle, eh. A victory against Chameleon would

be almost as challenging and exciting as me getting a 14-point buck, eh.

cameraman: Thank you for your time Big O. I'll be around later this

week for another interview.

Big O: <going back to his fishing> Great, see ya then, eh.

==

==

RASTA FARIAN

(A cameraman is walking down the hallway when Rasta Farian is seeing

coming around the corner, a little frustrated, and looking for someone to

yell at. On his shoulder is Ziggy, his brightly colored parrot.)

Rasta Farian: Hey, mon! You wit de camera!!! Come 'ere, mon..... I got

something to say....

Cameramon: What is it, Rasta Farian?

Rasta: Dat boring guy who looks like a mummy from a low budget horror

flick called me a "no talent-fish-eating-surfer wannabe"! I ain't no

surfer, mon. If you don't think dat I got talent, i'll show you by

giving you the Reggae Riot and give you a first hand demonstration of the

new "Marley Melody" during the three way dance. You'll know the melody

when you hear it---Ziggy will call it out for me----but you won't be

conscious for much longer than that.......

Cameramon: What about Red Leaf?

Rasta: He's too worried about his old playmates and that damned

Russian.....I'll be surprised if he even shows up in the ring,

mon......If he does, I have a warm welcome planned for him.

Now 'dat's it....I'm gonna go and catch some fish, mon....It's gotta be

more chalenging than making fun of these guys, mon.

(Rasta walks out of the building as the camera fades out)

==

==

CHRIS KITCHING

(Vanessa, Chris "The Deal" Kitching and two reporters are watching a

video tape of Chris Widmayer. The reporters are constantly asking

questions, but Chris won't answer them. Finally, the tape ends, and

Chris is ready to speak.)

Reporter #1: So what do you think Chris?

Chris: What do I think?! What do I think!? Well, I think that is the

biggest crock of bullshit I have ever seen in my life! I have wrestled

all over the world...Japan...Mexico...Canada...Europe. And I tell you

what. I have never seen such a joke in my life! First of all, the guy

struts around the NACW thinking he is "The Deal" and secondly, the only

people he can beat are his camera crew and few cheap drunks at a bar.

Chris, the only type of fighting I do at a bar is drinking Vanessa under

the table and by the way, little man, I don't settle things on the

street, I settle them in the ring. But hey, if you want the fight on a

street or a back alley, in a bar or in the ring, let me know. I am still

waiting to hear from you. So when you get in tonight from beating off a

bunch of drunks, drop us all a line.

Reporter #2: But Chris, Clash of the Titans is on April 14th, you have

only 9 days to prepare! Are you physically ready for this match?

Chris: You see, I have been physically ready for anything since I first

entered the NACW. I am in top-notch condition right now. Look at me!

If you think some little bingo-hall champion can defeat me, you're dead

wrong. I am focused right now. On April 14th, Chris will step into my

zone, into my domain...Into my ring! And you can be sure I will throw

his banana-pajama ass out of that ring and out of the NACW.

Reporter #1: After this match with Chris, where will your career go?

Chris: Well, I would like to say because I can't. It all begins at Clash

of the Titans, and I am not looking past that night as of now. But after

that night, you can guarantee my stock will go up, and heads will turn my

way, and once I will become a household name. So, V, what do you think?

Vanessa: I think we pretty much have this wrapped up, C. Now if you

would excuse us, it's time to leave...

(Chris and Vanessa leave the room, leaving the two reporters alone to

talk about their discussion with "The Deal")

==

==

INSANE WAYNE

<<Scene>> Camera opens to the Courtyard of the Meadowood Hospital, A

Place For People With Special Needs. It is a nice day out, soall the

resident's are outside. A group therapy session is about to begin, with

the new, young Therapist. The Therapist is trying to round everyone up.

Eventually, she rounds up the group scheduled for the therapy. There is

Larry, who thinks he is a chicken. Warren, who likes yelling and

repeating people. Sarah, who thinks there are little green men all

around. Sammy, who thinks there are bugs on him, and is always picking at

his body. And finally, Insane Wayne, who, well, we all know about Wayne.

Therapist - Hello everyone, I am the new person here to talk to you. My

name is Mary.

<<Nobody answers her.>>

Mary - Oh, I see everyone is shy. Well, lets get to know each other.

Let's start with you. Your nametag says your name is Larry. Can you tell

me some things about yourself?

Larry - BWAK! bock bock bock bock. BWAK!

Mary - Larry, can you speak.

Larry - BWAK! BWAK! << Larry gets up, and starts to walk like a chicken.

Scratching at the ground.>>

Mary - I see we will have to work with you.

Warren - HE'S A CHICKEN!

Mary - I see. Your name is Warren.

Warren - I AM WARREN!

Mary - Yes..........

Warren - I AM WARREN!

Mary - I know that Warren.......

Warren - WARREN! WARREN! WARREN!

Mary - I know you are Warren.

Warren - WARREN! I AM WARREN!

Sarah - Watch out Warren, there are green little men trying to bite you.

Warren - AH! SMASH LITTLE GREEN MEN! SMASH! WARREN SMASH!!

Mary - Please! Would you all sit down! Thank you. Now, you over there

with the toy, your name is Wayne.

Insane Wayne - No. And it isn't a toy.

Mary - But your nametag says Wayne.

Insane Wayne - I am Insane Wayne, and this is the Little Doll. You better

recognize bitch.

Mary - Hey!

Warren - RECOGNIZE BITCH! RECOGNIZE BITCH!

Sammy - Ah, they are on me! Get off. Get off. I HATE BUGS!

Mary - Warren that's not nice. Wayne, that was mean to say.

Insane Wayne - Listen, I don't need you to tell me what is nce and what

is not. I am Insane Wayne and you will like it.

Mary - OK, but why are you called Insane Wayne?

Insane Wayne - Is it normal for a man to talk to a Little Doll? No I

don't think so. Plus, it helps me when I go to work.

Mary - Work? But you can't work, you are admitted here. While you are

here, you can't work.

Insane Wayne - Well, you better get your ass back into the building, and

look through my folder. But since you are too damn lazy to do that, I

guess I will have to tell you then. Since you didn't do your job, I am a

wrestler.

Mary - Wrestler.......

Insane Wayne - DON'T INTERUPT ME!

Warren - RECOGNIZE BITCH!

Insane Wayne - Thank you Warren, I couldn't say it better. Now yes, I am

a wrestler. A big bad pro wrestler. I wrestle in the NACW. And here soon

I will be wrestling again. In a Hardcore Tournament. Why am I in it, I

don't know. Just because I am INSANE! IS THAT WHY I AM IN IT! Just

because I am insane, I am in the tournament. Oh well, I guess I have to

do what I have to do. Now, you see, my next opponent is Jason Deegan.

Now, Mr. Deegen says I am not Hardcore. No shit, I never claimed to be.

But for you to say I don't know what pain is. I DON' KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!

LOOK AT MY HEAD! Scarred from the Crimson Rain match. I HAVE TO WEAR A

CUP KNOW BECAUSE MY BALLS GOT BROKE! I don't know pain! Hehehehehe I know

pain. I know the physical pain, and the mental pain. And let me tell you,

the mental pain is the worst. Feels like my head is on fire. Fire, I like

fire. When it touches the skin. Then you keep the fire there, and the

skin bubbles.

Mary - Wayne!

Warren - RECOGNIZE BITCH!

Insane Wayne - Hey Larry, peck her for me. << Larry runs over to Mary,

and starts pecking her. >> I am at home here. I am a herp to these

people. They need a hero, They are locked away, nobody comes to see them.

Nobody cares. But I care. That's why I do this, so they have a hero. And

as their hero, I am going to bring them the Hardcore Championship. This

isn't for me. This is for them. And I don't care who I and the Doll has

to go through to accomplish that. Now, if you would excuse me, I have to

go and take a bath!