WIRE INDEX

WIRE INDEX...

#1: Chameleon

#2: Shock

#3: Red Leaf

#4: Chris Widmayer

#5: Rasta Farian

#6: The Rebels

#7: Rob Trainor

#8: Obediah

#9: Big O

#10: The Crushin' Russian

#11: Chris Kitching

CHAMELEON (as always, if you have the "AIDS cures

faggots"/"cross-dressers are going to hell" mentality, then just skip

right over this RP)

[[The scene fades in. We are in a sound stage, with Ross Howard sitting

in a chair. There are two empty chairs next to him. Howard, dressed in

a stylish grey suit, white dress shirt, and red tie, checks his watch]]

[[Ross Howard]] Where is he? He's never late. What's with this?

[[Fade out, fade in. A graphic stating "fifteen minutes later" is

underneath the screen. Howard is now becoming impatient]]

[[Ross Howard]] If he doesn't show up in ten minutes, the interview is

off.

[[Fade out, fade in. A new graphic, stating "ten minutes later,"

appears, and then disappears]]

[[Ross Howard]] That's it. I'm leaving.

[[The door swings open. Then, Chameleon, with Malinda by his side, walks

in. Chameleon is dressed in a pink t-shirt with a black symbol, made of

Japanese calligraphy, on the front. He is also wearing black rubber

pants, and boots with human hair dyed blonde on it. His long pink hair

is tied in a ponytail, and he is wearing purple eye shadow, black eye

liner, and blue lipstick. His fingernails are painted neon pink.

Malinda is wearing a purple slip dress. The two sit down in the empty

chairs, and Howard, with an aggrivated look on his face, sits back down]]

[[Ross Howard]] Where the hell have you two been?

[[Chameleon]] Uh...traffic. Yeah, traffic.

[[Malinda]] But honey, it wasn't traffic. It was...

[[Chameleon (cutting her off)]] I know that, and you know that,

but...[[pointing to the camera]]...they don't need to know that.

[[Ross Howard]] Frankly, this whole thing is disgusting. Chameleon, you

used to be a man that people could respect and look up to. Now, you've

got this street trash hanging on your arm, and you're using vicious

tactics in the ring! You should be ashamed of yourself!

[[Chameleon lunges over, grabbing Howard by the collar]]

[[Chameleon]] What did you call her, little man?

[[Ross Howard (a little scared)]] I called her...I called her street

trash.

[[Chameleon pimpslaps Howard across the face]]

[[Chameleon]] Don't you EVER call her that again! You got that, you son

of a bitch? You want some more, or are you ready to apologize?

[[Ross Howard]] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Malinda, I'm sorry.

[[Malinda]] Not good enough.

[[Chameleon pimpslaps Howard again]]

[[Chameleon]] With feeling, damn it!

[[Ross Howard (with a little better acting)]] I'm sorry! I didn't mean

to call you street trash! I humbly apologize! May I say that you look

lovely today?

[[Malinda]] Thank you. Chameleon, honey, let him go.

[[Chameleon shoves Howard back down into his seat. Howard composes

himself, and begins asking questions]]

[[Ross Howard]] Chameleon, you recently attacked Alan Soriano at a house

show, but there was some debate over whether it was intentional or not.

The Flying Scotsman had thrown an abrasive powder into your eyes, and you

attacked Soriano after he bumped into you, hitting him with your ARSION

Suplex. However, Soriano's wife, Alexa, said that your eyes were open

and you could see what you were doing during the move. What are your

feelings on that?

[[Chameleon]] First off, Alexa has been nothing but a little

troublemaker. Not only is she jealous because Malinda looks better than

her, she's also jealous of the friendship that Alan Soriano and I used to

have. Key word: "used." That's more in depth than you can think.

Soriano and I, as far as I'm concerned, are no longer friends. He's also

been trying to use me for the last year or so. Just look at his request

to me! He wants me to be at ringside for his match with Billy Classon

because he's afraid that Classon's going to win the match, so he'll have

me there, along with Ban X, to get him disqualified so he can keep the

title if Classon has him in a compromising position. That sounds like

he's hiring me to save his title, but he's not paying me.

Second, yes, I was blinded. In fact, if you even bothered to check with

your sources, I have to talk with Bryan Coats and get an eye wash done

because my eyes felt like someone had rubbed them with sandpaper.

Something bumped into me, and since I, from what I remember, was still

the legal man, I assumed that it was my opponent. So, I did what any

normal man in that situation would do; I hit him with the ARSION Suplex.

If just happened to be Soriano. Mistakes happen. But that little bitch,

Alexa, was down there, trying to put an end to the friendship that

Soriano and I had, and she did a damn good job. She was always

jealous...

[[Ross Howard]] So, does that mean that you won't be at ringside for the

Soriano-Classon match?

[[Chameleon]] Did I say I wasn't going to be at ringside? No, I'll be

there, because I want to see that weak champion get his ass kicked by

Classon.

[[Ross Howard]] Malinda, something that's puzzled me...Dave Bean, who I

can assume is now your estranged husband, and yourself had a great

relationship. You got along, you had a child, but after he started

losing matches, you left him. Why did you do that?

[[Malinda]] That's none of your business, Howard. My relationship with

Dave is over, and it's not just because of what happened in the wrestling

world. I'd appreciate if you get off the topic.

[[Ross Howard]] Okay, well, Chameleon, what about Big O?

[[Chameleon]] What about him?

[[Ross Howard]] Well, you're going to be fighting him for the Television

title at Clash of the Titans! Surely you must have some sort of opinion

on him!

[[Chameleon]] Listen, I don't know much about Big O, except that he got

his ass kicked by Shawn Coats, and that he's a Canadian redneck. Aside

from that, he's nothing. If he thinks that he's going to step into the

ring with me and last more than five minutes, he's nuts. He can't handle

me.

[[Ross Howard]] Well...

[[Chameleon]] This just isn't worth my time, Ross. You're going to go on

with these stupid questions, and I'm going to fall asleep. Come back

later when you get some better questions, got it? This interview is

over.

[[FTB]]

SHOCK

<<The camera sets in on the outside of a small corner coffee shop. As the

camera man walks through the door, theres alot of noise from the back.>>

Shock: You call this coffee? This is horribble! I need my energy for my

match with Super Amish Guy, and your giving me this?! You should be

ashamed of yourselves! I'm going to report you to the ASPCA!

Waiter: Umm, sir, the ASPCA deals with....

Shock: Don't talk back! Just keep your mouth shut, and pay attention! Now

can I get some DECENT coffee?

Shock: Answer me damnit!

Waiter: But you said...

Shock: I thought I told you to keep quiet!

Shock: Service! Service! I require service! What the hell is wrong with

this place? First they give me this crappy coffee, then they deprive me

of a waiter? Don't they know I'm a big star? Sheesh, you'd think that

they would recognize true power and skill when they see it, but

nooo...they have to watch some bootleg wrestling orginization like the

WWU, or WCW. Damn, these people suck. They don't know what real wrestling

is until they've seen the NACW. You'd think that they would've learned by

now.....

Shock: This better be good...<Shock sips the coffee> Much better. See,

now your a good waiter. Thank you that'll be all. <The waiter leaves, and

Shock looks at the camera> Oh, I didn't see you there. My bad, i won't

let it happen again. As long as those damned waiter stay in

check....<Shock narrows his eyes at the unconsious waiter on the floor>

Anyway, I'm sure most everybody has heard of my match with Obedieh, or

Obadiah or something to that effect. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I

don't like Amish people. I mean come on! What the hell is so sinful about

buttons? Oh well, as long as he doesn't try to convert me t being Amish,

I won't care. See I've got it all figured out. I'll just mosey on down to

the ring to my music, wait for him to get into the ring, and then play

naked twister....wait thats not right. <He starts counting on his

fingers> What I meant to say was that I'll wait for him to get into the

ring, and we'l play Tic-Tac Toe.... hold on, that can't be right. <He

pulls out a datebook and flips through the pages> Where is it? <He comes

to a green page and looks happy> Wow, I'm going to Six Flags! <he throws

the book over his shoulder> Anyway, whatever we're going to do....wait,

aren't I a wrestler? Oh yeah, thats it! We're going to wrestle. Okay

then, now that we've got that figured out, we can move on. Anywho, I'll

wait for him to get into the ring, and then we'll wrestle. I plan on

getting him in one of those whatcha-ma-call-its.....<He snaps his

fingers> oh right, submissions holds. I haven't decided which one yet....

maybe a half crab. Or a Boston Crab, maybe even a Softshell Crab! Oh

well, one of the three. All I know is, that it better work. Cause after

that, I'll have to wing it. I don't like winging it, I usually need a

plan. But making a plan is rather simple, right? Go in ring, win, go back

to room. Badabing badaboom! So Mr.Camera man, do you like blackjack, and

do you feel lucky?

RED LEAF

<Scene opens with Red Leaf he is walking on the sidewalk, slowly. He has

his head down low, pondering things. A few kids walk up to Red Leaf for

autographs.>

Kid #1: Red Leaf! My god, you're my favourite wrestler! Not just in the

NACW too! You're my favourite wrestler. You rock more than Bret, Jericho,

Benoit, Edge, Christian Cage... All of them Canadians! I mainly like

Canadians, bit if I didn't, you'd still be my favourite!

Red Leaf: Red Leaf thanks you. You want an autograph?

Kid #1: Yeah, but I also want to know who will win a week, a day removed

at the Clash of Titans!

Red Leaf: Red Leaf the only Titan. Your name?

Kid #1: Brian Booreng.

Red Leaf: Red Leaf wonder... are you related to that guy, Bob Booreng?

Brian: No sir.

Red Leaf: Alright.

<Camera shows autograph that says "To Brian: Red Leaf" and on the below

it says "Red Leaf never loses.">

Brian: Thanks, I gotta go tell Uncle Bob!

Red Leaf: Red Leaf see... Uncle Bob... Bob Booreng.. Liar!

Brian: No, he's my mom's brother.

Red Leaf: Red Leaf see.

Kid #2: Red Leaf! You rock! You're my third favourite wrestler, next to

Bret Hart and Edge... I also like the Brooklyn Brawler!

Red Leaf: Red Leaf see... But you like the Brookly---

Kid #2: No, he's just funny! (Does a disgruntled Brooklyn accent)

Red Leaf: Red Leaf laugh, that was cool. Red Leaf see why you like him!

Kid #2: Thanks sir!

Red Leaf: Red Leaf thanks you too. Alright, what's [your] name?

Kid #2: Name's Roger.

Red Leaf: Red Leaf give you it , Roger, kid.

Red Leaf: Red Leaf say Bob Booreng, Rasta Farian... Its less than a week

a way, the Clash is. You be prepared.... Red Leaf'll be.

CHRIS WIDMAYER

[A camera strolls into a jam packed Saddledome in Calgary as the Star

Spangled Banner was playing for the upcoming flames game. The camera

zoomed

in on the press box as two commentators addressed the camera]

Commentator 1: Welcome folks to Calgary Television and tonight we have a

very good matchup between the Edmonton Oilers and the Calgary Flames but

first we have a very special guest in attendance tonight and Linda is

with

him now.

[The camera switches to a skybox where Linda O'Neil is sitting in a chair

next to Chris Widmayer. Chris is wearing a pair of jeans, a calgary

flames

hat and a black shirt that says Security on the front and "Of What?" on

the

back. He is also holding his blood stained lucha mask in his hand]

Linda O'Neil: Welcome folks and I hope your all set for tonights big

matchup

but first we have a special guess here with us, Professional Wrestler

Chris

Widmayer.

Chris Widmayer: Thanks Linda and I must say this will be a great game

but I

don't need to tell the fans that. What I do need to tell the fans tho is

that on Wednesday I am gonna give them a show that there gonna be telling

there friends about for years to come.

Linda O'Neil: Well Chris, Mr. Kitching is confident he gots this match

won.

What about you, you believe you already got it won?

Chris Widmayer(smiling): Well Linda you see I group up with a father who

beat into me that winning was the thing to do. Well actually it was the

only

thing. My dad went into every boxing match thinking he had it won. I

had

this attitude when I first got into wrestling but now I take each person

at a

time. Don't get me wrong Chris HAS to have talent to be in the NACW so I

will definetly not take him lightly.

Linda O'Neil: Well is there any other comments that you have on your

upcoming match?

Chris Widmayer: Yeah I just want to let Chris know that walking around

talking like your the best thing the NACW has seen is the WRONG thing to

do.

You see you and that white trash whore of yours need to start watching

what

you say and backing yourselves up. For a drunk guy Crushin Rushian laid

out straight to you so pal come wednesday you better be ready because I

gonna show you why they call me CRAZYYY!!!!!

Lina O'Neil: Okay two more questions, First One any titles you have your

eyes one right now and second what is the symbolism behind that mask you

carry and wear?

Chris Widmayer(laughing): Well Linda on the subject of titles I have

thought

about a title to shoot for and thats the Lightweight Title. Will I get

it?

Only time will tell. Now this mask *points to bloodstained mask* its

symbolizes my hard work to get to the top. You see to make a long story

short I use to wrestle in Mexico and was sort of made fun of I guess you

could say becuase I was not a lucha so I defeated the World Champion of

the

promtion in a match I created. The Table Barb Wire Match for Barb Wire

Bat

vs. Mask. I defeated him by breaking him through 4 tables covered in

barb

wire and I got his mask and this symbolizes that I will do anything for

the

business which thus got me to the top. I even got my "I'm Not a Lucha

Dammit" shirt from that fed, and maybe you can see it some day. *winks*

Linda O'Neil(laughing): Anything is possible *smile* but we got to get

back

to the game, I wanna thank you for the time Chris.

Chris Widmayer(smiling): Anytime, oh yeah GO FLAMES!!!!

[The scene switches to the introduction of the team as the game gets set

begin]

RASTA FARIAN

(The camera zooms in on Rasta, sitting quietly in thought, a rare

moment.)

Cameramon: Hey Rasta mon, Boring called you some more names.

Rasta Farian: Sticks and stones may break my bones, mon, but boring

shouldn't

be worried about names. I eat fish. So what, mon? I listen to Bob

Marley.

Got a problem wit dat, mon? I have a parrot named Ziggy. Any bird

jokes,

mon? De only thing dat matters to me is dat I'm going to get into de

ring and

wrestle better than I ever have before, mon. Oh, by de way, mon, I'm

glad

your nipples healed.

Cameramon: What about Red Leaf? He's in the three way dance, too.

Rasta: All I got to say is dis: If he comes to wrestle, I'll be waiting.

he wants to come and talk about his bosom buddies, I'll go find him a

woman

that'l give him some "attention", mon. Dat's it. I got to go and train,

mon.

If you have anything more significant than the babble that they've been

spewing, let me know, mon.

(The camera fades to black)

THE REBELS

<Scene opens with the Rebels who are quickly approached by the media

people, rep's from pretty much each network are in attendance...>

ESPN Rep: Revenger.... Blood Boy.... when are you guys going to do an Up

Close and Personal with ESPN?

Blood Boy: Never.

Fox Rep: What about a sitcom with us? Or a wrestling show? You could be

the President and CEO!

The Revenger: Sorry.

WB Rep: How about a sitcom with us?

Blood Boy: We'd rather do Fox.

UPN Rep: We've got a wrestling show lined up to go with a federation,

it'll be called Rebellious Wrestling. Up to it?

The Revenger: Call us when the ratings go higher than 2 at peak times.

TSN Rep: What about a "Rebel Desk" with us? It can be on 7 days a week

and 5 or 10 times a day! Sportsdesk is no good anymore!

Blood Boy: No time for it.

RDS Rep: Que diriez-vous d'un bureau rebelle avec nous? Il peut être

allumé 7 jours par semaine et 5 ou 10 fois par jour! Sportsdesk n'est

désormais aucun bon!

The Revenger: Uhhh....

Blood Boy: TSN a juste offert à l'exact la même chose, mais en anglais.

Revenger ne parle pas même français! Nous avons dit que nous n'avons eu

aucun temps pour lui! .... He just offered the same thing.

The Revenger: Good thing you know two languages.

Blood Boy: Well I also know Spanish. See? Somos el único equipo que

merece en el NACW de ésos los títulos del equipo de la etiqueta, así que

en el 14to, todos esos equipos apenas mejoran pérdida y nos dan las

correas!

The Revenger: Cool.

Blood Boy: Oh, and Portuguese... Nós somos a única equipe merecendo no

NACW daquelas títulos da equipe do Tag, assim que no 1â, todas aquelas

equipes apenas melhoram a perda entregam-nos as correias!

The Revenger: Hahaha... What'd you just say?

Blood Boy: That we should get the tag titles at the Clash of the Titans.

The Revenger: Seems awful long.

Blood Boy: Yeah. I didn't say everything I said.

The Revenger: Oh. How'd you learn all that?

Blood Boy: Mexico and Brazil.

ABC Rep: Why is wrestling fake? Do you encourage backyard wrestling?

The Revenger: Because it works out better.

Blood Boy: (Sarcastically) I don't encourage it, do you?

The Revenger: (Sarcastically) Noooo way!

Blood Boy: Man, I can't wait till we beat those three teans and prove to

all those critics that we are the top tag team and are also legitimate

singles wrestlers, but that'll be a different time.

The Revenger: For sure.

Blood Boy: How many more days is it till the Clash?

The Revenger: Six more days. We've got less than a week to go.

Blood Boy: Yeah, I know my weeks!

NBC Rep: Are you two guys interested in doing a wrestling special for

us?

The Revenger: No.

CBS Rep: How about us?

Blood Boy: God No!

GHJ Rep: How about for GHJ?

The Revenger: Who the hell are you?

GHJ Rep: Hold on, gotta go ask the President who we are!

A&E Rep: How about a documentary for us?

Blood Boy: Wait 20 years.

A&E Rep: Woohoo!

The Revenger: Alright. This is over. Revenge is so bitterly sweet.....

ROB TRAINOR

(Scene opens with the intro to TSN's Off The Record with Michael

Landsberg)

Landsberg: Rob, we've had other wrestlers on this show, but I think your

the first guy on a losing streak we've ever had.

Trainor: Listen, I may be on a losing streak, but I will change that in

Calgary on the 14th. On the card that night I will take on Shaun

McWhirter, a man that seems to have disappeared recently. I hope he

shows up at the Canadian Airlines Saddledome, so I can show Shawn Coats,

Crushin' Russian and all my other detractors what a great wrestler I am.

I need all the Canadian fan support so call the Saddledome and get

tickets because nobody does wrestling like the NAC...wait a minute, I'm

the only person that wrestles properly there, so nobody does wrestling

like Rob "The Shootmaster" Trainor. ((Are we forgetting "Big Dog" Justin

Russell? After all, his "long" biography shows that he is a four-time

state wrestling champion back in high school. Also, I think that Shawn

Coats is a good wrestler... - SC))

Landsberg: Great wrestler? You haven't won yet in the NACW. All you are

is a jobber and I don't think you could even beat me in a match.

Trainor: You're right you don't think. But Jobber? That's a load of bull

and you know it. I'm just helping put these guys over in Canada

and hopefully when I wrestle them again, they'll return the favor.

Besides I could beat you, look at you, I know why you don't wear a tie.

It's because you have a tiny neck. I've seen you writhing in pain when

other wrestlers and shootfighters have put you in their holds. Why

wouldn't it be the same if we met in the ring?

Landsberg: OK, let's just leave the match between me and you alone for

now. Let's talk about the mix-up and the ensuing battle of words in the

NACW publications between you and Shawn Coats. How did this come about

and is there any legit heat between you two?

Trainor: You seem to know about the mix-up. Shawn Coats, the brilliant

man he is, leaves me in the dark about the goings on in the NACW for a

few weeks. You remember my debut at Ultimate Jeopardy II seems Shawn

Coats sent another wrestler out there to wrestle as me in the Rookie

Rumble because I wasn't there. I never received the tickets or travel

arrangements, so how could I show up? Now Shawn Coats decides that

(sarcastically) oh my neck is feeling better so I should inject myself

into the Hardcore Belt Tourney. Let me ask you, you've had the Hardcore

Icon Mick Foley on your show, would you consider a Submission Match a

"Hardcore Match"? (Break in Kayfabe) No there's no legit heat between

us, it was more like Austin-McMahon than Flair-Bischoff. I was a little

miffed at him for forgetting about me but that's the past anything in

NACW mark publications is really all part of an angle I came up with.

Landsberg: Getting back to your question about the Hardcore Matches. Not

really should that match have taken place under those Tournament

circumstances. Actually, seems to me that, that kind of match should be

a Shootfighting Belt Tournament not a Hardcore Belt Tournament. Do you

foresee the NACW having a Shootfighting Belt any time soon?

Trainor: I'd love to see it happen but nope it won't. (Return to

character) For the simple fact Shawn Coats has a personal vendetta

against "The ShootMaster". He'll never see me with a belt around my

waist. But if I can help it I will make sure he does not have a belt

around his waist either.

(commercial)

(Quirky Fact shown, Rob Trainor once wrestled Grizzly Bears at Banff and

Jasper during high school)

Landsberg: How have the Canadian fans taken to you?

Trainor: In Vancouver, I got a mediocre reaction at best. Some people

marked out for me, but for the most part, I got the damn

booorrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg chants. I'm not boring look at the

clip.

(Clip of the Sunday Night Slam Masters match is shown)

Landsberg: I think your not as exciting as, say the Luchadors, but I

think Gary Goodridge, who we've had on this show before, would be a fan

of your style. I also like Mixed Martial Arts, your background, so I

find you somewhat exciting. But we are running out of time, so let's put

me in your signature move the Snap-Shooter.

(Trainor places Landsberg in the Snap-Shooter)

Trainor: McWhirter, you'll feel the pain Landsberg is feeling in

Calgary. That is if you show up!

Landsberg: McWhirter, I hope your ready. This hurts!! Tune in tomorrow

when we'll have some curler, a newspaper columnist and the host of

Canadian Sportfishing.

Trainor: Don't tune in...first there's terrible guests and secondly,

come watch me train at the Max Bell Arena in Calgary between 2:00 PM and

5:00 PM. It's free and I'll be signing autographs for my legions of

fans.

(fades out to Sportsdesk)

OBEDIAH

((NOTE: The Shawn Coats portrayed in this roleplay _IS NOT_ the real

Shawn Coats. He is an actor. He'd never say "fuck" on camera or call

anyone a redneck. In fact, he's probably one of the biggest rednecks in

the world...odd, because he's black - SC))

<Scene opens outside a large barn near Harmony Minnesota. From inside we

can

hear sounds of various animals, and the distinct sound of two males

talking.

Standing out side we see the horse Jed eating some hay. The camera moves

toward the barn door, and walks in. In the middle of the barn we see a

make

shift ring made from old matresses, and barbed wire. In the ring we see

Obediah and another Amish man sparing. Johnathan is out side giving

Obediah

instructions. It is very clear that the larger Amish man knowes nothing

about

wreastling as Obediah attempts a DDT on him.>

Johnathan: Thats it Obedaih. Thats a perfect DDT. Do you think we could

go up

to Minneapolis were we could find a competent sparing partner for you?

Obediaaih: It would not be right for me to leave during planting time. I

thought

Malaci here would be good. He is about the same size as Shock.

Johnathan: Yes, he is, but not near the same skill level as Shock. At

least

Shock has been in a few wreastling matches.

Obediah: If you can call them matches. From what I remember they were

fairly

one sided, and not on the side of Shock. No matter. If the commishener

sees

fit that I continue my crusade with Shock, then so be it. I know that the

Lord

shall guide my path through this fed, and his wrath shall be quenched.

Johnathan; Purhapes we can hire a wreastler to spare with you. You did

say you

were not going to spend you pay from the NACW.

Obediah: Fine, after the first fruits are givin to the Lord we shall

attempt

to hire a man for me to train with. Purhaps The man named Bob Booreng

could

use another job? It does not matter to me. If we do hire another mazn,th

hten

your pay will be cut. I do pay you my salary minus the first fruits.

Johnathan: That's just fine. I belive you have a shot . . . Never mind. I

think it would benifit you greatly to have a more compotent sparing

partner. I

feel it would be a good use of the gifts the Lord has givin you.

<Johanthan

stifles a chuckle.>

Obediah: Very well then, it is settled. I will go hitch up Jed, and we

will go

up to Minneapolis to look for a man who will train with me.

<While Obediah was hitching up Jed, Johnathan removed himself to go make

phone call to the NACW>

Johnathan: May I please talk to Coats? I have some important bisness.

Operator: Who are you, and what is your bisness?

Johnathan: I'm John Roberts. I'm the trainer for one of his wreastlers,

Obedaih Godson. I want to talk about Obediah with him.

Operator: I'll connect you.

Coats: What do you want? I'm very busy. I have a training session

schedualed

in 5.

Johnathan: Well, I was wondering if you would pay for a sparing partner

for

Obediah, or if you had some one you could send over.

Coats: Are you out of you mind? I don't have any F**king money to give to

your

damn red neck of a wrestler.

Johnathan: I just thought that because you gave Blottie a shrink for

free, and

many other wreastlers the same such services for free, you would be able

accomodate Obediah as well.

Coats: Well, there's money in keeping The Legend healthy. There is no

money in

Obediah. Once he brings in some fans, then I'll think about it.

Johnathan: How about I make you a deal . . .

Coats; I've got to go.

<Coats hangs up the phone in the middle of Johnathan's sentance.

Johnathan

then mumbles somthing about getting a belt through Obedih and walks ovaer

the buggie and gets in.> FADE TO BLACK

BIG O

<The scene opens up nearby Big O's cabin in the woods.

Runs-with-the-Pack

and Yukon Jack are standing around, while they watch Big O run a homemade

obstacle course with a full keg of beer lifted above his head. Big O

completes the course, drops the keg, and sits down on top of it.>

Yukon Jack: What do you think you're doing? You're not finished yet.

Lift that keg and start running again.

Big O: <trying to catch his breath> Oh come on, I've been running for

over an hour don't ya know. <looking around for an excuse> Look it's

the

NACW camera, I need to give an interview, eh.

Yukon Jack: You need to train. Do you wanna lose, again. Get up and

run.

Big O: But it's in my contract to give interviews. Besides some of the

wrestlers like that Kitchen guy give an interview every day. I don't

want

some stinking rookie who has no idea what he's doing to get more press

then

me.

Yukon Jack: Alright, give your interview. You need a short break

anyway.

<Runs-with-the-Pack grunts>

Yukon Jack: I agree with you Pack, five minutes, then it's back to the

obstacle course.

Big O: <turning to the camera> Shoot, eh.

cameraman: Big O, I don't think that we've ever seen you train this

hard,

is there any reason why?

Big O: Well, I've always done what I thought to be a healthy amount of

training, but we decided to do a little extra for several reasons. One,

this is my first title shot and I wanna look good in the ring. Second,

I'm

facing a very good wrestler in Chameleon and we all know that my record

against upper tier wrestlers is not good, eh. Third, I'm working on my

speed and agility. Runs-with-the-Pack has been telling me for a long

time

that I'm slow. I thought that I had fair speed even though she can beat

in a foot race. But, for my size I am slow. Jack thinks that I might be

better in the ring if I can gain a little speed and agility. I think

he's

right, eh. I'm obviously strong, I have good technique, and my brains

are

as good as they'll ever be. So, what can I improve on? I guess it has

be speed and agility, eh.

cameraman: Sounds right to me. Last time I talked to you, you sounded

kind of depressed. You talked about not being mentally prepared for your

matches, you mentioned that you let your emotions get to you. Have you

fixed this problem and will you be mentally prepared for the T.V. champ.

Big O: I am focused on this match. I've come up with a strategy for my

match against Chameleon and I'm focusing on executing that strategy. I'm

approaching this match as though it were just another match against a

quality opponent, instead of a title match. I feel better prepared

mentally then I have in all of my life, eh.

cameraman: Big O, you seem to be preparing for the match of the century,

why are you putting everything you have into this match, and do you feel

you will overprepare for it?

Big O: Well, this is the match of the century, for me. This match will

the most important match of my career, eh. I'm at a turning point right

now. If I win at Clash of Titans, I will be on the road to becoming a

much

better wrestler. If I win, I will be a champion. But, if I lose then I

will only prove to the NACW that I don't have the skills that it takes to

beat a quality opponent and be a champ. If I lose I will become a

high-class jobber. I'll be the guy who every thought had the skills and

the talent, but just couldn't put it together. I don't think that I can

overprepare for this match. Chameleon is a top notch opponent and I want

him to face me at my best. I believe that I will be at the peak of my

wrestling abilities when the bell rings at Clash of the Titans.

cameraman: Big O, in the past you've seemed more fun-loving, now you

seem

serious, like you mean business this time. Has your attitude changed?

Big O: No, I still love to have a good time, eh. That's why I wrestle,

because I have fun in the ring. But, I think with a little extra work

and

focus I can really do well at what I enjoy.

<Runs-with-the-Pack grunts.>

Big O: <Lifting the keg> Thanks for coming out here, I've gotta get

back

to work, eh.

<Big O begins to run the course this time he is racing Runs-with-the-Pack

and she is carrying two kegs. As the camera fades to black,

Runs-with-the-Pack passes Big O, but Big O just lowers his head and picks

up the pace.>

THE CRUSHIN' RUSSIAN

[the scene is a bigtime sportsbar in Calgary. The Crushin Russian and

some

friends are seated at a luxurious booth in a secluded corner of the

restaurant. People are crowding all around the sportsbar trying to get a

look at them and maybe an autograph. A line stretches far into the

street.

At the table is The Crushin Russian, his comrade Vlady, an atheletic

looking white guy, and a really hot younger woman. Boris, Ivan, and

Mikhail are standing around the bar having a few drinks and spirits.]

[3 reporters, one from the NACW, one from ESPN, and one from the local

network FPRC]

NACW reporter: Hey! Hey! Crushin Russian! I hate to tell you this,

but

I'm here to do an interview with you. Could you answer a few questions?

Crushin Russian: [ignoring] Oh, you were talking. Why the hell do you

people always follow me around? How do you find me!? I hate you...go

away!

NACW reporter: Well, this isn't any more fun for me than it is for you.

It's in your contract to do interviews. You signed it pal. It's in my

contract to do interviews with people like you. Now lets go.

ESPN reporter: Hey! An interview, please! National exposure. What

brings you to Calgary, Mr. Crushin Russian?

Crushin Russian: Yeah, whatever. An interview, sure. [to ESPN's Robin

Roberts] I have a match this weekend with the NACW here. I also wanted

see a few friends that were in town for a game this weekend.

ESPN reporter: Yeah, you sure attract a lot of attention here today when

you eat dinner with celebrities.

Crushin Russian: HEY! These people are here to see ME! It's not every

day the best wrestler in the world stops into town. Today is their lucky

day, I guess.

ESPN reporter: Sure, but I would just make a guess that most people are

here to see these people [points across the table to Sergei Federov and

Anna Kornikova] Russians that are the most successful competitors in

their

respective sports.

Crushin Russian: Screw you! They are here to see the best--ME. They

will

certainly see that on April 14th at the Clash of the Titans. They will

see

Josh Walters laying on the mat totally incapacitated. They will see the

best technical wrestling they have ever witnessed. They will see....

NACW reporter: Yeah, what about your upcoming match with Jobber, uh, I

mean, Intensity Josh Walters?

Crushin Russian: Well, Comrade, I am really looking forward to removing

Walters' head from his neck. I saw his recent interview, and I enjoyed

it.

It gives me even more reason to enjoy destroying his worthless career.

should be a lot of fun. I usually try not to hang out with Jobbers like

Walters, but I can only wrestle the matches Coats gives me, right. He's

just another small bumb on the road to my World conquest. And Walters,

case you're listening, you might take a few lessons from me. Why don't

you

get your sorry career in some sort of order. Pick up your pride and stop

pouting like the momma's boy American punk you are. Get out of your

dungeon and come wrestle me, like a man. I realize you won't be able to

handle my vast repitiore of wrestling skill. No one can. Stop bitching

and start wrestling, maybe you'll get somewhere. But not this week...

ESPN reporter: You mentioned a "World Conquest", what do you mean?

Crushin Russian: Oh, that. That would be when I rip the World title

from

Soriano or Classon, or the Easter Bunny, whoever has it. The U.S. title,

that will surely be mine on May 29th. Of that, there is little doubt.

And

if Soriano wants a piece of the best technician on the planet, he shall

have his piece. He shall have more than he ever dreamed he could handle.

He will have me, destroying him. And when my legend and mystique grow

into

a demigod status, as they are already apporaching, I will be NACW World

title holder, and President of Russia--leader of both wrestling, and the

WORLD!

NACW reporter: heh. ha. okay...Well, what about the comments of

Blottie

and Kitching?

Crushin Russian: Blottie, I've got something to say to you, whether you

like it or not. You say I don't matter to you right now?!?! Well,

comrade, I'd better matter to you, because as big as you might think you

are, I'm bigger, and better, and you'd better watch your tail or you

might

just find yourself looking up at me wearing the belt you thought you

might

someday own. I don't matter to you [laughs], that's ok with me. The

U.S.

strap will be around my belt on May 29th, if I don't take the World title

from Soriano first---I had better mean something to you! I'm officially

ranked 7th, you're 5th. You said to talk when I mean something, well I'm

talking. Me; you; anytime; anywhere. Just to let you know.

NACW reporter: And Kitching?

Crushin Russian: Who?

NACW reporter: Chris "the deal" Kitching. The new guy. [Shows picture]

Crushin Russian: Oh, him! The guy with a big mouth and a little....

Hangs around with that ho. You may be right, I might not understand

english all that well, but I understand punks like you just fine. The

typical American momma's boy. Whining like a bitch and leaning on his ho

all the time. I'll bet all the money in the world you won't even be able

to hang with Chris Widmayer at Clash of Titans. If you destroy Widmayer

like I did, you can talk to me. Until then, shut your mouthy ass.

ESPN reporter: Anything else to say Crushin Russian?

Crushin Russian: Yeah, one last thing. Watch out NACW. Watch out

world.

A revolution has begun. The revolution will be showcased on April 14th

I destroy Intensity Josh Walters and show him exactly what being intense

all about. The world will sit up and take notice. Watch for it.....

[Crushin Russian goes back to the table with Vlady, Sergei and Anna. The

reporters leave and the crowd goes wild as Sergei waves to the crowd.]

[fade to black]

CHRIS KITCHING

(Vanessa and Chris "The Deal" Kitching are sitting pool-side

enjoying a few drinks in a Vancouver hotel. Chris is relaxing for a

while after a hard work-out, preparing for his NACW debut set for

April 14th against Chris Widmayer)

Chris: I gotta tell you, V. I am really loving it here in

Vancouver. I can't wait to get to Calgary, but here in BC, the

weather is great, the people are excellent, and the ladies are fine.

How about you go ask that brunette over there for some tips,

Vanessa? You might need them (laughing).

Vanessa: If you don't watch your damn mouth, Chris, I'll shut it for

you and beat your ass before Chris Widmayer gets the chance to in

Calgary at Clash of the Titans.

Chris: Ha! Very funny. Speaking of the so called 'crazy one,' did

you see him on ESPN last night doing that interview?

Vanessa: Unfortunately, yes...

Chris: I know what you mean. I mean, the man has to go on national

television just to get his point across to millions of people around

America. Do you know how sad that really is Vanessa? I mean, I

could go on national television, on a sports show or talk show and

talk like I'm the biggest piece of shit here in the NACW, but you

know, I like to make my point in the ring, in front of all of my

fans worldwide. Widmayer will soon find out what the hell I am

talking about. I just don't see what the point is. It's almost

like those cheezy interviews the World Wrestling Federation used to

always do on their shows during breaks from wrestling. Hey, V, how

about I go onto a national TV show dressed like a damn fool? I bet

you, V, that when Chris was doing the interview and he heard all of

the laughing coming from behind the cameras he thought they were

laughing with him because he thought he was a damn comedian. Too

bad they were laughing because they knew he would get his ass

whipped from pillar to post this coming Wednesday night in Calgary,

Alberta. I'm a Canadian boy, so I guess I have home-crowd

advantage, huh? Obviously Widmayer and ESPN have a deal going or

something, just to get Chris some more much-needed exposure to all

of the NACW followers. Hell, followers of "The Deal." My grandma

doesn't even know him, let alone does she even give a shit who the

little prick is. I'm sure if Widmayer was listening to us or

watching us right now he'd say some shit like 'your grandma is hot,

I want a piece,' just to prove how much of a crazy, sick bastard he

really is. Vanessa, isn't he the most pathetic excuse of a NACW

superstar you have ever seen?

Vanessa: Very much so. It is so hilarious because, well, have you

seen his little girlie arms, and his chicken legs..Ha!

Chris: So basically you are telling me you have been checking him

out, huh?

Vanessa: That's disgusting!

Chris: Well, I tell you what, Vanessa. I am going to work over that

little bitch so damn bad, he won't know what hit him. This

Wednesday night, I will be the first to welcome Widmayer to Canada,

even though that fat ass on ESPN did it last night. Widmayer can't

back down now, as much as I know he desperately wants to. (Vanessa

nods). I don't know where he gets all of this shit about wrestling

for money. If you look on the NACW payroll, I am one of the lowest

paid wrestlers in this federation. I do this for the fans, not for

the business and certainly not for the money. I wonder how much

Widmayer squeezed out of ESPN last night for that TERRIBLE

interview? Money is a bonus in this thing, but to have the fans

chant your name all over the world, in every corner of every

country, in every building in every city, that is the real reason.

Maybe it is time for Widmayer to get a head check and stop trying to

kiss Coats' ass every night? (Vanessa agrees). I'd like to swear

Vanessa, but this is a family show...but what the the fuck, eh? I'm

gonna be as cool as Widmayer now!

Vanessa: (laughing) Damn Chris, that's too much for me. Widmayer

is such a joke.

Chris: And last Vanessa, Widmayer was asking what "The Deal" really

is? Hell, I AM THE DEAL. And I always will be. I will prove it

Wednesday night, and I will prove it every night. I don't care if

it's to be proved wrestling against a crazy bastard who's mother

dropped on his head, or some little lucha son-of-a-bitch. Now if

you'll excuse me for a while, V, I'm going for a swim.

(Chris jumps in the pool as Vanessa sits on the chair and watches

him swim)